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RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 9:21:30 AM   
BostonGuy


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow
I really am looking for someone, and really, I'm looking forward to doing it the right way. That means the "forever' thingy. Building a relationship slowly from acquaintances to friends, to companions and playmates, and moving forward from there. Yes, I am serious, but that doesn't mean that I want someone on my doorstep tomorrow morning. Just because I move slow does not mean that I'm not real. I am not desperate.


This is very well expressed. Essentially, in order to have a successful, loving, life-long relationship (few people here seem to use the "m" word I have noted) all of the components of a successful vanilla relationship must be present, along with much more as far as the desired lifestyle choices (monogamous vs. poly, sub vs. slave vs. equal except in bedroom, etc.).

What you are doing is ensuring that you and the man with whom you may enter such a relationship will take the time to learn about each other as people rather than merely as personas. As the great majority of time that two people have together in a loving relationship will involve vanilla activities, this is essential. Half way across the U.S., this is the same approach that I have taken.

I can only wish you the very best in your patient and realistic approach.

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 3:18:15 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

One of the specific problems for Dommes seeking a male submissive by getting out in the local scene is that single, male submissives who are looking for a lifestyle relationship are very rare commodities at local scene events. In practice, they just don't get "out" there in any great quantity. From talking to males online, many seem to be willing to go to events WITH a Domme once they find one online, but not go by themselves with the hopes of meeting people and eventually a Domme.

The rare exception to this are events that are specifically F/m oriented. There aren't a lot of such events though.


This has been addressed by another but I just wanted to add that I've given it a try. My experience was to find mostly male Doms with their female subs in attendance plus a sprinkling of Female Dommes with their male counterparts in tow. Single Dominants and submissives were hardly visible at all. The socials were divided up into little groups where it was obvious those in attendence were close friends. Not much mixing was going on. As you said, FemDom related events are rare in these parts which makes it all the tougher.

anthrosub

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(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 4:16:46 PM   
MistressGrace07


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		hmmm in My experience with local scene events.. there ARE a lot of single male subs.... and very few Female Tops...

but maybe that's rare in general.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 5:18:57 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm not sure how it is in your neck of the woods, but here in Detroit---as in many areas---the atmosphere is NOT welcoming for female dominants. Hence the many chapters of Club FEM, I suppose!


(in reply to MistressGrace07)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 6:34:57 PM   
truesubboy


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		I'm sure this won't be a popular comment, but I can't resist voicing my frustration at seeing a profile of a Lady that I would love to meet and learning that she is "not looking" or "not available." Maybe it just seems that the grass is always greener, but lots of the more appealing profiles have "no men" or "not looking" written in them.

Now, having said this, I always respect their wishes and realize that people use the site for different reasons. If you're not looking, then you're not looking.

I was surprised to read about the level of no shows, however. I always show up for a meeting and I return every e-mail. It's just a respect thing.

To answer your question though, how many people are available? it seems as if there are plenty of people available, but just not compatible. Therein lies the difference.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 6:42:49 PM   
MistressGrace07


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm not sure how it is in your neck of the woods, but here in Detroit---as in many areas---the atmosphere is NOT welcoming for female dominants. Hence the many chapters of Club FEM, I suppose!




That's too bad! The club I used to go to all the time in Chicago (that's no longer around) was VERY welcoming.. W/we even had a Female Domme night.... it's sad to hear of My fellow Sister's getting such bad treatment.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/26/2005 11:11:47 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There is soon to be another Club FEM chapter in Chicago, I am happy to say. And I used to go to Chicago a lot when I was new........VERY nice folks!


(in reply to MistressGrace07)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 10:19:01 AM   
strictdomina


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		"if indeed the Master, Mistress, or slave in question was serious enough about this Lifestyle to show up for a meeting and close enough to you that such a meeting was feasible, then they would also be serious enough and close enough that Y/you would have already run into them at a MUNCH, event, or club and thus meeting them on collar me would not be necessary. Thus collar me is a poor method of finding a partner."

this is clearly not valid logic.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 10:48:26 AM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

There is soon to be another Club FEM chapter in Chicago, I am happy to say. And I used to go to Chicago a lot when I was new........VERY nice folks!


I contacted the ClubFem chapter here in the DC Metro area. Unfortunately, they only accept couples for membership so any single and sincere male submissives OR single FemDommes are left out of the picture. I think this is sad but understand they don't want the organization to become chaotic. Still, it would be nice if there was at least some way to network through the group as they do appear to be well organized.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 11:12:36 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		They only accept COUPLES? Are you sure it was Club FEM?

Thanks for this intel, I will check into it----the DC Chapter that I know of used to make the boys interview naked! They have since stopped that, but the whole idea is a hoot!


(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 4:36:37 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

I was surprised to read about the level of no shows, however. I always show up for a meeting and I return every e-mail. It's just a respect thing.

truesubboy


i cannot imagine agreeing to meet a Dom or Master and not showing up; standing someone up is a huge breach of the social fabric which keeps us from degenerating into a mob.

i also answer every email at least twice; i block only when it is obvious that the person will never accept what i say.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/27/2005 4:37:04 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 4:41:37 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

"if indeed the Master, Mistress, or slave in question was serious enough about this Lifestyle to show up for a meeting and close enough to you that such a meeting was feasible, then they would also be serious enough and close enough that Y/you would have already run into them at a MUNCH, event, or club and thus meeting them on collar me would not be necessary. Thus collar me is a poor method of finding a partner."

this is clearly not valid logic.

strictdomina


What matters is whether the couple/poly family is/are happy and healthy; i cannot see why it matters where they met.

i have not attended any Munches, etc. and neither have some of the Men i have spoken to; i think it is a very small % of BDSM'ers who are interested in public play/spanking parties, etc. i'm sure many such people are happy with their social lives, but some other people just are not attracted to that scene. Who cares?

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/27/2005 4:42:31 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 4:55:40 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		It is my opinion that over 95% of people on this site have avatars.


If I misunderstood and you meant available, (and I restrict it to the limit that I pedantically imagine you have, of what constitutes available) then I think 1% of 1% of the 100K plus people here. If I take a somewhat larger view and say that you are some extremely even tempered individual that can get along easily with nearly anyone, relocation not an issue and whatnot; then that number might climb to 100. But the bottom line is 100% available in the largest possible sense. (Imagine how that could possibly be true, before flaming)

Ron

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/27/2005 6:09:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

[
I contacted the ClubFem chapter here in the DC Metro area. Unfortunately, they only accept couples for membership so any single and sincere male submissives OR single FemDommes are left out of the picture. I think this is sad but understand they don't want the organization to become chaotic. Still, it would be nice if there was at least some way to network through the group as they do appear to be well organized.

anthrosub[/color]



Well, I spoke to HM Lisa of the DC group, and it is NOT the case that Club FEM is a couples only group. Singles are welcome. MARRIED males must attend with their spouses in that chapter. The whole issue of married men is something we spend a lot of time discussing......

I suggest you try again----if you email me, I can send you the link.

Francine

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/28/2005 3:48:48 AM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline 		I am not here to meet the one and only. I like to read the forums. Interacting with some of the posters both male and female. Reading some of the posters it would be interesting to meet

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/28/2005 8:28:17 AM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		As a young Female dominant I find it very difficult who's willing to accept me. I find a lot of them want someone who has lots of experience and throw that in my face. I've been actively in the lifestyle since I was 19. I am now 21 and still have trouble.
I recently broke up with a submissive because we didn't work vanilla wise. I don't think he was a true submissive but just like to get beat once in a while.
I find a lot of submissives/slaves try too hard to impress dominants, by calling me Goddess, I appreciate the gesture but would rather just be called Mistress or Ma'am. I'm more impressed with a person showing me their true selves rather than something they protray to be. For the most part I can usually tell they have some fake personality.
I do email people back and even if I'm not looking for someone I enjoy chatting with them and getting to know them, that way if I do end up looking for someone and I enjoy their company I didn't throw the opportunity away.
I've found a lot of submissives online to only be here for the cyber in fact I get asked a lot if I want to "play" online and I won't it's corny and it's a load of BS to me. I have been out to quite a few events and find quite a few trolls there as well.
The conclusion I've come to is finding the right submissive is just like finding the right woman or man in the vanilla world...it's a pain and a lot of hard work.

(in reply to LdyAuburn)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/30/2005 3:00:06 AM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveR1
Now for the question: What percent of the people on Collarme.com are available and really looking for someone? I've been told by several Mistresses 90/98% are just cyber junkies. I'm giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and I say 20% are really looking. I would like to hear how others feel.

Since we have no valid/reliable data, this question becomes irrelevantly unproductive. In fact, I wonder just what it is you're actually asking. It's obvious you're frustrated. Are you asking for where the secret path might lie to finding your special CollarMe match?

I second the following:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou
Actually, isn't the question really what percentage here are looking for the same thing you're looking for?

~ Ti ~

(in reply to SlaveR1)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/30/2005 10:31:30 AM   
SlaveR1


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline 		This is not about me and I am not frustrated. You can only guess at the %.

(in reply to TiNeedsHouseboy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/30/2005 4:38:53 PM   
abp


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		bdsm in my country its = to 5 or 6 Dommes/Masters so i think i need to change to another continent or something ...

(in reply to SlaveR1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What % of people on Collarme.com are really ava? - 8/30/2005 4:46:17 PM   
MasterBenedict


Posts: 309
Status: offline 		I've Got to ask...
What IS AVA exactly?


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(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 60
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