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RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/9/2008 6:01:38 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I think we need a "Studs of CM" calendar.  Wooooohoooooooooo.

Cali



I'd buy it!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/9/2008 6:08:41 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Can I add CelticLord to the list?

Yes.  And I would toss in Level, SimplyMichael and Padriag as well.  Respectful, intelligent men all................luci



_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/9/2008 6:52:11 AM   
Sabella


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		The first thing that popped to my mind is "consistency" Top 10 admirable qualities aside, there are different strokes for different folks - not everything on everyone's list will be the same. 

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/9/2008 8:56:42 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Can I add CelticLord to the list?

Yes.  And I would toss in Level, SimplyMichael and Padriag as well. 


See?  I knew I would screw up the list... YES and YES and um, HELL YESS (even though he still skeers me with that "there be bodies buried here" look ).

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/9/2008 5:54:54 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

What are the characteristics of the good ones, in your mind? what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant? LL


What makes good leaders? What is inspiring about them and makes them worth following? The answers can be applied directly to your question.



< Message edited by amayos -- 1/9/2008 5:56:36 PM >

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/10/2008 1:36:56 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant?


Power.

YMMV

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/10/2008 10:15:19 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
What are the characteristics of the good ones, in your mind?


Confidence
Intelligent
A nasty mind
Ability to communicate
Similar beliefs
Thoughtfulness
Empowering
Imagination
Humor
Strong
Sexy

Now, this may appear to be a shopping list to some hee hee  but don't let that fool you... I was just listing some of my Sir's characteristics.

edited to add:  I'd buy the calendar with CM studs..... I can't remember, did anyone mention Ron and Focus?

girly

< Message edited by girlygurl -- 1/10/2008 10:33:08 AM >

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/10/2008 12:30:26 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		A Good Match

Simplistic answer but true.  There are many here who would find me too nice, too sadistic, too perverted, not sadistic enough, not perverted enough, too gentle, not gentle enough, etc.

I am very introspective and open about what I find and some find fault with that, some could care less, and others find it attractive.

I am far from in shape and some would recoil in horror, others find that irresistible.  I am at times a roaring bull ready to reach out and rip some one's windpipe out of their throat and some can't handle that aspect (as someone found out much to his chagrin at a recent party) and others find great comfort in it.

There is no perfect dominant, only perfect matches.  So to hell with LA and one of her cardinal rules but I have found MY perfect woman and I have no problems nor fears of shouting that frequently and loudly from any nearby tree or rooftop.  I bet some would find that annoying...

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/10/2008 12:49:17 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant?


Power.

YMMV

Celeste


You sure it isn't DRAMA!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/10/2008 1:40:19 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant?


Power.

YMMV

Celeste


Yep, it is really all very subjective. To me what makes a good dominant are the same qualities that good human beings have... that mixed with the charisma to motivate a submissive type to submit.

There is only one that posts here that would motivate me that way



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 10:28:47 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		all the ones on your/Cali's "list o' studs" ( and even the ones you didn't mention by nick) exude confidence and a sense of being comfortable, personally, to this slave...in themselves and their convictions and the relationships they have crafted.  this slave can only speak to personal experience with one you have specifically named, and this slave could go on for pages as to why she finds Him incredibly attractive!!!
 
to this slave, confidence, being comfortable with one's self, knowing what one wants, and having a sense of humor is incredibly sexy and studly, and not exclusive to the Dominant side of the slash.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 10:50:56 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

to this slave, confidence, being comfortable with one's self, knowing what one wants, and having a sense of humor is incredibly sexy and studly, and not exclusive to the Dominant side of the slash.


Yeah.  What she said. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 11:32:08 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
What are the characteristics of the good ones, in your mind? what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant? LL


For me it was outstanding leadership skills, coupled with a power that snapped my focus right to him and never diverted it.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 12:52:50 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


You sure it isn't DRAMA!


Yes, I'm sure. It's power.

I totally get that for others they look for qualities that any mature, reasonable adult would possess, but to me those are found in any... um, mature, reasonable adult. If I'm looking for a dominant, power first or I'm not going to look twice to see if they even have all those other qualities. If the power is there, then I'll spend to time to see if the rest is there as well, but it is a process for me and it has a beginning.

Power - that's the beginning for me.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 1:57:38 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Celeste,

I have to say I relate to that.  All those other qualities, without the power, makes the person my equal.  It's the power that feeds, pulls, and ignites my submission.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/11/2008 2:03:51 PM   
LRODANDMASTER


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		DNOT WORRY CUZ I WASNT MENTOINED EITHER AND EVERYONE NOSE LROD IS A STUD.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's ok. The Studs of CM are too studly to worry about being left off a list, I'm sure.


Exactly!  Since I wasn't mentioned, I'm not worried.

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/13/2008 4:24:49 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

when i had a profile posted on aff (wrong place to do it), i was looking for a gentleman ...someone i could converse on any level about anything ....someone who would understand that i wasn't out looking for sex - i wanted to be treated special and like a lady. also i added i wasn't looking for a dominant since i was trying to get out of the kink side to me. well after 24hrs of joining - i had over 100 messages which i wound up deleting 99% of them. Daddy's profile and message stood out above all others. He perfectly understood what i was searching for and what i needed ...and the rest is history.

meeting my SO here was actually a fluke in itself because it happened the same way as it did with Daddy. with both of them, i instantly connected chatting about music to other interests/hobbies but never once did we discuss the kink until much later in the relationship. are they "good" dominants? that's not the right word to describe them - they're caring, loving and perfectly tailored to what i need.



I havent been a paying member of AFF for a long time . However, I kept my profile up. I delted 99% also. But guess what. Like you I met my Sir there. I think if you put yourself out there you can meet someone anywhere. there a few good ones anywhere and mostly bad. Its cherry picking.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/13/2008 4:37:19 PM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		For me, a good Dominant knows when to be firm and when to be gentle.  He is not afraid of his gentleness or his compassion.  He is complete enough in Himself to know that his sub won't see any gentleness as weakness, but merely another facet of his male beauty. 

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/13/2008 6:19:40 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think from the forum Doms that tend to be respected what I see is that they don't have absolute approaches to things.  They know their s type well and respond to both what they (the Dom) desire and the effect it will have.  They are well-reasoned, retain authority but yet balance it with their s type's health and well-being. 

In real life, I'm not sure it's that simple as how we perceive people on the internet. We are all so complex I think while those same well-reasoned qualities are certainly desired and necessary, in addition compatibility with most of our complex factors is necessary. 

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 1/13/2008 6:50:06 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What constitutes a good Dominant? - 1/13/2008 9:18:30 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Why do we love these "studs so? In your mind what sets them apart from the rest? What are the characteristics of the good ones, in your mind? what do submissives look for when selecting a Dominant? LL


Playfulness, senses of humor, a fair amount of communication, and attention. It all adds up to one gigantic Studfest.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 40
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