Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This?

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Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/10/2008 10:34:25 AM

KRANWEST

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Every night, before 11pm, my girlfriend locks both of her cats in the bathroom.

   "I can't sleep when they're up, and just..........LICKING THEMSELVES", Karissa says. Her testimonials don't exactly sway my opinions on feline incarceration, but I'll give in (just to avoid the estrogen-fueled storm later-on).

  Bella is a skittish female.............the feline equivalent of a speedballing Mariah Carey. She pisses all the time, setting her territorial markers on sheets, stuffed-animals, pillows and open food containers.

I can't even approach the fucking cat without initiating a "COPS"-style chase.

"Be nice to her baby - she's scared", Karissa pleads, as I attempt to maneuver Bella from underneath the bed with a pool cue. Always a struggle............the ritual repeated. I'd like to Fed-Ex Bella to a starving and appreciative North Korean family, but instead, I'm humiliated........making puerile baby-talk to a mammal whose only inborn instincts are to eat, shit, sleep, and run away from poor, pussy-whipped chumps.

Spanky (a small, black male) is much less trying on the nerves. When I approach the Spankster, I'm either met with a) pure, unadulterated apathy, or b) the empty look that attached men give girlfriends who ask them to critique nail-polish colors.

Does anyone here has similar experiences? I'm talking about those pointless, annoying labors of love. Feel free to fire away

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/10/2008 5:26:22 PM

mercifulsiren

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Mine would have to be finding my husbands wallet, keys, glasses, book . This list could go on all damn day. I dread it when he asks us " have you seen ____" or "could you help me find_____" or "where did ya'll last see_____" He is a smart intelligent man but he would loose his ass if it wasn't so firmly attached.

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/10/2008 5:30:42 PM

Suleiman

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Nope. There's so much F! up stuff going on in our lives right now, we haven't given a damn about petty things in like three or four years.

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/13/2008 2:52:30 AM

YourhandMyAss

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I will, sometimes, ask Daddy to get up and let the dogs out, or in, because I wanna go to sleep and don't want to get up and do it since I am right at the brink of sleep.

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/13/2008 3:13:39 AM

batshalom

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For love, yeah. I've been known to fix (and eat) ... shudder ... liver. It's no so much that the love hinges on the liver (except in cases of extreme intoxication) but it's the solidarity of cooked organ meat that does it for me. It makes me feel all masochistic and proper and stuff.

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/14/2008 4:37:03 PM

Feric

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No. I'm happily divorced.

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RE: Does Your Mate Make You Do Stupid Things Like This? - 1/14/2008 7:26:14 PM

Lashra

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I am divorced so I don't have to put up with this bullshit anymore. My dumbass ex husband had a habit of turning on every light and every TV in the house for NO reason. He wasnt going to stay in the room or watch the tv, he just wanted them on. So Id go behind him and turn them off...then when I would tell him how much the electric bill was he had the nerve to act surpised. That was just one of his many stupid ass habits

~Lashra

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