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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 3:38:10 PM

Stephann

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No, I don't think you got my meaning; when people are to the point where they're actively seeking a new partner, even for someone 'on the sly' online, it's because they're not happy in the relationship they're already in. I know the assumption is that in marriage, when you're not happy, you're supposed to stick it out. Yet, marriage isn't supposed to be a death sentence either. Regardless of the type of relationship I'm in (casual, committed, married) I reserve the right to terminate that relationship at any time. I also have the right to cheat if I wish (though I'm the first to admit that cheating goes completely against my morals.) Sites like this aren't the cause of my cheating, they only enable me to do it in a manner that could be more satisfying. It might be a meaningless fling, that reminds me that my wife really is better than some stupid chick I met online, or it might crystallize the fact that I'm married and miserable and I need to do something about it. It wasn't the site to blame, it was me all along.

On the flip side, honestly, if my girl was going to cheat on me, I'd rather she do it with someone she met online through a site like that, then to go out and get hammered with her friends and get picked up by some schmuck.

Hope that clarifies things; I'm not talking about poly relationships at all.

Stephan

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 3:58:27 PM

kittiekatt

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Yeah it clarifies, sorry for misunderstanding. And if You didn't notice, I did say the site merely enables people to cheat easier. The thing is, if you're unhappy, you should leave the relationship. There's no need to cheat. If you aren't happy , just end it there, that way you dont have to sneak around in the first place.

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 4:42:28 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I also have the right to cheat if I wish (though I'm the first to admit that cheating goes completely against my morals.)

This seems very contradictory to me. If cheating goes completely against your morals, then you don't have the right to do it, only the ability to do it since by definition a right to do something is that which is 'just' or morally or socially acceptable. Can you clarify further what, exactly, give you the right to cheat since it does go completely against your morals?

Celeste

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 5:00:28 PM

Stephann

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Having the right isn't the same as being right. Maybe the world entitled is better here? I have the perogative to do things I shouldn't do. I shouldn't eat too much red meat, drink alcohol, smoke, stay up late, etc. In doing these things, I am doing something I 'shouldn't'; indeed, I'm doing something I don't believe I should be doing. That doesn't change the fact that I have the perogative to do so.

On the other hand, my wife also has the perogative to put up with me, or leave me.

For the record, I'm not married, nor do I advocate cheating; I'm only pointing out that blaming a site that caters to a social ill isn't very helpful either. For the same reason, we demonize prostitution, because they enable men to cheat on their wives, when it's the men who should be held responsible for their actions - not the prostitute.

Stephan

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 6:00:04 PM

happypervert

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Some amusing stories ought to come out of there -- like when some folks start flirting and exchange pics and it turns out they are flirting with their own spouses!

heh

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/11/2008 11:32:01 PM

RazorJAK

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The Pina Colada Song immediately comes to mind.

It's always amazed me what some people think of as romantic songs.

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/12/2008 1:09:46 AM

Asherdelampyr

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So they advertise sites like this, on national T.V. and yet if I take two beautiful women into The Olive garden that I just so happen to be sleeping with I have to hide it (at least the fact that its both of them) to get decent service! Damn hypocrites.

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RE: Ashley Madison - 1/12/2008 1:20:53 AM

Zensee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RazorJAK

The Pina Colada Song immediately comes to mind.

It's always amazed me what some people think of as romantic songs.

Yeah, like that song by the Police, the one about stalking, you know, the one that wedding couples play for their first dance.

The internet is good at revealing the many truths about humans.One is that most of us are not really 'til death do us part monogamists. Any religious convention that insists we are is whistling in the dark. I would agree that people should be honest about this with their partners. There is no need to cheat. That's just cowardly.

Z

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