RE: Protecting Your Dominant

RE: Protecting Your Dominant (Full Version)

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tied2it -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 6:28:56 AM)
In most cases i do not need to protect her as she is a very emotionaly strong women . In fact she would prefer that i do not get my feathers ruffeled over any verbal issues . If it is a physical confrontation i would grind there bones to dust . My wife/mistress hates when i get into any fights so i do my best to avoid those situations . If required to defend against a physical threat or if a male is gone to far with any uncalled for insults/remarks then yes i would , and have defended her . I do not like violence but i am good at it .

julietsierra -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 7:03:46 AM)
Naaaa, I wouldn't lift a finger... hehehe... ok, so that's a lie. I just figured that since everyone on here had already said they would (seriously, who wouldn't want to protect someone they care for?), that I'd just say something different. The reality though is that I would - in a heartbeat. He can handle himself physically, but at our age, we've pretty much determined that there's just not that much out there worth fighting about. He can handle himself verbally, but again, why waste the breath over someone else's opinions. Verbal sparring won't change them on either side. But if someone's rude or disrespectful? Even if they are my family or my friends... I have nothing more to do with them until they change that tone. I made sure to warn my family about this before they met him - years before they met him (my family's "sense of humor" runs toward the sarcastic and can often be perceived as offensive - to say the least). I tried to warn my friends. A few haven't believed me. They are no longer my friends. Yes, yes, I know I can't regulate other people's tone of voice or way of saying things. I'm very aware of that. However, I can choose who I will and will not associate with, and if someone chooses to be rude, disrespectful or impolite, I can and do choose to not associate with them. I'd do the same for any of my friends. juliet

juliaoceania -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 7:12:56 AM)
I find it interesting that some of the dominants next door seemed to want to make sure that everyone knew that they did not have White Knight Syndrome.... My Daddy thinks I have the female version of that. I want to "fix" every freaking thing and make it all better. When I can't I get anxious. What is the female version of the White Knight Syndrome called?

Decimus -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 7:15:15 AM)
White Knightess ;)

juliaoceania -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 7:23:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Decimus White Knightess ;) Ha Ha[:D]

kyraofMists -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 9:15:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justheather Interesting question, Julia. My Dominant and I protect one another's feelings in that we are conscious of our words and our intentions when speaking to one another. This may fall under the category of protection, but I consider it to be speaking from a place of love and respect. As far as protecting him from some information I might perceive as stress-inducing...He would not be pleased if I were to withhold information from him for that purpose. For one thing, who am I to decide what Daddy can and can not handle? In my relationship, Daddy decides. That's the way Daddy, who fully understands the responsibilities that come with that decision, wants it. For another, well, I dont believe either of us expects the other to alter reality in order to make life easier or less stressful for the other. What we do expect is that we can count on the other to provide a loving, open shelter in times of difficulty. So, in that sense, I do not feel it is my role to protect him from the truth, from my shortcomings, or from life in general. If I am spending my time and energy trying to protect him from something we could be facing honestly and openly together with the strength of two, I dont see how that is going to benefit our relationship or make his life any better. There is another form of "protection" that comes to mind, and that is a sort of protecting/defending him on these boards. I can think back over the past two and a half years that we have been together and call to mind times when someone said something on the forums that pushed my "mama bear" button and made me want to say something to a poster about the way he or she addressed my Daddy or about the content of their remarks directed at him, but Ive restrained myself for a couple of reasons. One is that Im certain he does not want me to be his mama bear. While he is most likely tickled and amused when I express to him (privately) my feelings about the other posters, he does not want or need me to come to his rescue. The other is that he is much better at expressing what he wants to say how he wants to say it than I am. I will never be the better person for the job when it comes to speaking for Daddy. So, I don't. heather, What you expressed is an accurate reflection of our relationship including the part about defending him on these boards. That is a behavior that he looks poorly upon. Our best wishes to the both of you; hope you had a great New Year. Knight's Kyra

CdnExplorer -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 9:41:52 AM)
I'm very much protective of people that I care about and are important to me. Not so much from verbal abuse or dragging someone's name through the mud, as I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to people who I haven't let in...and perhaps I tend to expect other people to be the same. Of course if it was going totally overboard I might say something. Physical threats though, or bullying, I have a very difficult time restraining myself over...even if I know the person is capable of handling it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 10:33:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania When I can't I get anxious. What is the female version of the White Knight Syndrome called? Self centered mother? :)

juliaoceania -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 5:11:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania When I can't I get anxious. What is the female version of the White Knight Syndrome called? Self centered mother? :) Hmmm... no, that wouldn't fit[;)], because it isn't about me. Edited to add, empathy for other people's stress, and taking it on as one's own tends to get to me... You have expressed before that you lack empathy for people a lot of the time, so I do not expect you to understand that.

Lashra -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 6:09:00 PM)
Without a doubt he would. He has told me many times he would die for me if need be and I believe that he would. When we go out in public he is in protection mode until we come back home and are settled. If I hear a noise during the night he is up and out of bed before I finish my sentance to go see what is the matter. We look out for one another and I feel thats the way it should be. ~Lashra

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 6:15:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Hmmm... no, that wouldn't fit[;)], because it isn't about me. Edited to add, empathy for other people's stress, and taking it on as one's own tends to get to me... You have expressed before that you lack empathy for people a lot of the time, so I do not expect you to understand that. But it is because you feel YOU need to fix it, you feel YOU need to do something about it, that you are the best/only person for that job and it needs to be done BY YOU. I agree that empathy is probably a chunk of it and why I tend not to have this problem- but I think what happens is that empathy makes it so real to you that you feel you need to do something because it's become as much a problem FOR YOU as it is for the other person. And then YOU automatically think YOU need to fix it.

juliaoceania -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/12/2008 6:44:09 PM)
True, I do not like how it feels to literally have pain because other people are experiencing it. And to make the pain stop (for myself as well as them) I attempt to find ways to fix it... right now two of the three people I love most in the world are living in constand pain.. one I know I can't fix, the other I was trying to when I can't

batshalom -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 2:27:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants? Absolutely! Protect him from stress and overwork and down moods, mostly. I can't say as I ever felt the need to protect a Dom physically; but emotionally and in a domestic fashion, yes yes yes. (Caregiving is extremely satisfying.)

christine1 -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 2:34:17 AM)
to me it is natural to want to protect and try to ease the stress and pain of the ones that i love...and a loved dominant would be no exception.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 3:45:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I suppose the other thread made me think that protecting those we love isn't a dom or a sub trait... it is a human trait I think you hit the nail on the head juliaoceania. Even animals do this. smiles... thinking of how nice it feels to protect and to be protected. peace

unravel -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 4:43:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Decimus Yes, I would defend Aerith to the death. Same goes for any of my friends and family, my loyalty is absolute and I would protect them regardless, Aerith above all of course :) i could not have said it better. i would protect my Dominant to the absolute end in all possible ways and situations, and the same goes to my close family, pets included ;) Loyalty is a core value to me. unravel

fluffyswitch -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 6:01:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania There was a thread in the "Master's Forum" about a dominant's responsibility to protect a submissive, and I was wondering if submissives feel a duty to protect their dominants? i'm not so sure i feel protective as much i as i just like taking care of them, like making sure they actually ate today and aren't just saying yes. if i'm with my dom i like to make sure he's eating first or gets the first bite of something we're sharing. and it sounds kind of silly but i have to make sure they don't wander into traffic. she's absent minded adn he's just impatient so i have to make sure i don't loose one of my dominants trying to get back to campus...lol.

Kitte9 -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 10:32:29 AM)
I think many of us do feel very protective of their Dominant half, and would do whatever asked to protect them. Many times, however, we are not asked, and sometimes we must learn by mistake where the line exists.

BabyKittyKat -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 11:05:37 AM)
Yes, I feel the need to protect Him, though there hasn`t been a case, where I can really do it. But if there`s a chance to do it, I won`t think twice :)

Mercnbeth -> RE: Protecting Your Dominant (1/13/2008 11:27:37 AM)
julia, no duty, no inclination, no urge, no desire, to "protect" Him from anything or anyone. this slave has no inspiration to "mama bear" anyone else's cub, or full grown bear, for that matter.[:)] He's a grown, responsible, protective sort of man that can handle Himself just fine. however, upon further consideration, He just might get a good laugh out of this slave attempting to "protect" Him!!! (and it's always doubleplusgood to bring Him joy)

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