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RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 3:55:05 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

uhm, slaves R us?

As a secondary back up you can go to Sub-way.

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Post #: 21

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:01:18 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lkn4Uslave

Never been to a munch , but from what I've heard I'm not missing much....Oh yea...me and my slave are activly looky locally always but as I said we are in the country and even though we "fall into the group" most of these people are stone cold rednecks and not into the lifestyle .....the real problem is I/we have a very good home to offer and can't for the life of us figure out why it hasn't been taken advantage of other than the fakes on here and trust me , I think we have met them all (at least I hope so!) Sooooo there has GOT to be another site where it is REAL I have been on CM for @ 4-5yrs and I swear it's gotten worse!!!!!!!!!

Just so you know, I am 111 miles from you, had a slave from here(Collarme, and relocated to us from Texas) that lived with us 24/7, and attend a BDSM social here every month (there is a quite active, though small, lifestyle group here). So it would seem your geography is not the problem. Possible indications (and I am just guessing) on your profile; states must approach you correctly. Not all are into high protocol. Fine if you are, but not all may be.

As for the site getting worse over the last 4-5 years leads me to another question. Your profile says joined 11/2 07. Maybe changing nicks all the time throws up flags to the slaves and they are leary? You are the one that said 4-5 years, yet you show membership for 2 months. Hmmmmmm....

If you feel other sites are better, then I would be sure to check them out if I were you. I have had no problem finding people in the lifestyle even at nilla functions, and making friends.

edited to add; I am possibly making an erroneous assumption that you do not think munches are much of anything since there is no play there, but, it is a way to meet people...course stuff like that requires time. And, just so you know, there are "socials" (which are not like munches). You have to be proactive. I googled and had no problem finding the SAFE group here.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 1/12/2008 4:04:10 PM >

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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Post #: 22

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:03:40 PM

HalloweenWhite

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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My advice is don't try to find one here or anywhere else online, go out and meet people and make connections with real life human beings.

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Post #: 23

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:04:50 PM

lockmeupplease

Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Can I get one that matches my curtains there or do I need to buy a set of curtains, sofa pillows and bisexual?

You can buy your bisexuals a la carte, but I recommend the "Bi in a Bag", which includes matching curtains, pillows and a dust ruffle. It comes in "Dom" and "sub" styles. "Switch" was discontinued.

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Post #: 24

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:05:50 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: lkn4Uslave

Never been to a munch , but from what I've heard I'm not missing much....Oh yea...me and my slave are activly looky locally always but as I said we are in the country and even though we "fall into the group" most of these people are stone cold rednecks and not into the lifestyle .....the real problem is I/we have a very good home to offer and can't for the life of us figure out why it hasn't been taken advantage of other than the fakes on here and trust me , I think we have met them all (at least I hope so!) Sooooo there has GOT to be another site where it is REAL I have been on CM for @ 4-5yrs and I swear it's gotten worse!!!!!!!!!

If you are missing out depends greatly on the munches in your area. However, if I may make a suggestion...

I would pass you by simply because you use the terms "real" and "fake". It's my experience that fake is simply the person who won't be with you, like a slut is the woman who will sleep with everyone but you.

Finding a partner is a long process. The fact that you are looking for a third makes it even longer since many aren't interested in poly and those who are are in great demand - which means they get to be picky and get exactly what they want. You've mentioned you aren't close to any munches, so I assume there isn't much of a BDSM scene in your area. That will also narrow down the number of potential partners - I wouldn't want to move to an area without a local scene since I enjoy it too much.

There are two groups near him, the one I'm in and Montgomery has one, it just takes a bit of actual work to get involved.

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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Post #: 25

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:13:54 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Can I get one that matches my curtains there or do I need to buy a set of curtains, sofa pillows and bisexual?

You can buy your bisexuals a la carte, but I recommend the "Bi in a Bag", which includes matching curtains, pillows and a dust ruffle. It comes in "Dom" and "sub" styles. "Switch" was discontinued.

Ooo... is there also a bathroom set?

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Post #: 26

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:22:29 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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Have you tried bondage.com or Alt

I am sure there are a few Doms that have contacted me that consider me a fake as well because I have turned them down but there can be a number of possible reasons why I have, in less than 12 hours I have been contacted be 17 different individuals expressing interest in me, though I have stated right in my profile that I am not currently searching, so even if I was searching I do have the option of being fairly picky about my choices, and this is fairly true with many of the females here

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RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 4:50:10 PM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lkn4Uslave

thank you for that imut...however I don't use "real" or "FAKE" in my profile nor do I use it when speaking to a prospective person....I only used it here in conversation....and , yes , agian , agreed ...it is (and should be ) a long process...u need to know a person VERY well on either end to accomplish this (poly) BUT ....the seriousness of most of those I have encountered was about as long as they could "get off" on the computer !!! IT IS FRUSTRATING !!!!!!

ummm... Perhaps you might consider re-reading your profile? Specifically the part that says

" TPE... NOT INTO GAMES,FAKES OR ANY 1 NIGHT STANDS WE ARE REAL-you be too! "

So, what I'm wondering is why are you so frustrated that you feel it necessary to call the very people you're hoping to attract "fake"?

juliet

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Post #: 28

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 5:38:16 PM

MissOchistic

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Joined: 4/30/2007
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The best BDSM relationships I've had have come from vanilla meetings wherein I either discovered the mutual interest, or piqued their curiosity and got them into it over time.

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RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 5:52:02 PM

bamabbwsub

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Joined: 5/28/2007
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quote:

That would be good advise [going to munches]....but I live way out in the country and there is NOTHING like that near me at all (not even 100 miles!) but I thank you anyway!

Actually, living in Bama myself, I know of a very well-established BDSM group/club located in Birmingham. There are also groups and clubs in the North Alabama area that I am familiar with. So to say that there aren't any near You isn't exactly true. In addition, if You live near the GA line, Atlanta is full of BDSM clubs/groups and activities.

Look, and Ye shall find. Or, send me an e-mail and I'll be happy to give You the web addresses for them.

< Message edited by bamabbwsub -- 1/12/2008 5:55:15 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 6:01:03 PM

bipolarber

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100 miles to a good munch is nothing. I'm in Central Arkansas (BDSM desert of the US) and I have to drive 3 hours to Memphis to find any real community. If the isolation is a problem to you, then I suggest taking a job in a major metro area, where there is a major spur of community.

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Post #: 31

RE: Where do you go? - 1/12/2008 6:05:52 PM

kc692

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Hmmmm, silence from the OP....you have the capability of finding at least 3 active communities near you.......so what will it be?

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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Post #: 32

RE: Where do you go? - 1/13/2008 2:30:57 AM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticBastid

LOL... people lie anywhere... its no just on collarme, and not even exclusive to the BDSM lifestyle. Sad part is that we in the lifestyle profess that the most important thing is trust and honesty, yet very few people ever practice it... funny how that is eh? :)

Agree to find a good partner is hard also in real.
The problem with the net is, your first judgement is done on the words you read in the profiles.
They may sound bad, but the person can be nice and mean something completely different. Besides that many people, especially younger people, don't think anymore about the fact that on the other side of the line is a person too. You don't communicate with a pc, but a person which you don't see.
It is easy to shout at people online, while you would be afraid in real life to get a beating for the same words.

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Post #: 33

RE: Where do you go? - 1/13/2008 3:01:13 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lockmeupplease

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

uhm, slaves R us?

I prefer The Home Slave-Pot. They have one near me next to Bed, Bath & Bisexual.

lockmeupplease, you get more and more interesting with each post. But please warn me before I read it. <Wipes drink off of the monitor>
I am quite used to MH's sense of humor and almost always expect to laugh, so I lower my drink when I see Her name, but you...I need to start paying attention.

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Post #: 34

RE: Where do you go? - 1/13/2008 3:33:58 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
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From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Finding a partner is a long process. The fact that you are looking for a third makes it even longer since many aren't interested in poly and those who are are in great demand - which means they get to be picky and get exactly what they want.

What she said!

How did you meet your current partner? Was she interested in a poly household or part of one when you met her? Or was it more like, once the two of you developed a relationship of trust, she was then willing to expand the relationship? It's one thing to form a one-on-one relationship, that's not easy in itself. The poly relationship is so much more complex. Have you articulated how the family is to function? Just sex and housework? Her role in relationship to you, to your primary partner, to the family? Are you planning to add more after this one? What have you established to deal with the not so pleasant aspects of shared time, private time, jealousy?

You also have a very narrow list of physical and ethnic criteria, so you are making your pool of prospects smaller and smaller and then wonder how to find this person?

Really, the advice you have received has been good advice.

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RE: Where do you go? - 1/13/2008 3:51:49 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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i would recommend your local Starbucks too - they're very good at taking orders

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RE: Where do you go? - 1/13/2008 4:05:02 AM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

You also have a very narrow list of physical and ethnic criteria, so you are making your pool of prospects smaller and smaller and then wonder how to find this person?

Should i even dare peek to see if they're recruiting chubby chocolate subs?