RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but

RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 6:17:08 PM)
Yup and it ended up on Judge Judy.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 6:23:52 PM)
ididn't know that. So you mean if i were his wife , or child and i took his sub to court. She would get an attorney for free? Or not need legal counsel?

MsLadySue -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 6:24:40 PM)
This is my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree with me, butI can't for the life of me understand why anyone, vanilla or D/s, would hand over their finances and/or personal belongings to another. I understand the concept of sharing expenses and have willingly done so while married and also in a common-law relationship but under no circumstances would I hand over my pay cheque to my partner and leave myself pennyless.

kyraofMists -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 6:36:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 You are the one who misunderstands. i am refering only to financial slaves that do not have any access to their money and their names are not on the account. i have already established that. So your last post to me makes no sense what so ever, because your situation was never what i was refering to.. Really?? Your post from the other thread, that can also be read here: quote: At 18 i had a job, my own apartment,. car, bank account, savings, etc. i wanted a D/s relationship, but i would never ever hand over my financial control to anyone. It isn't wise and why does he need it anyway if i am doing a good job with it? That is just part of a fantasy and i prefer to live in real life. And Aqua sub is 100 percent right. It is alive and well and i wonder how many people have lost everything they've had to someone they didn't know who took them for everything they had. It is one thing to be submissive, it's another thing to be stupid. You did not specify a time frame of knowing each other and you did not specify what "financial control" meant. As I stated already, financial control can take many forms. You only started qualifing your fantasy and stupid comments after several people pointed out the inaccuracy of those statements. My Lord has financial control over all finances. According to you that makes me living a fantasy and stupid... Not an accurate statement. Knight's Kyra

BitaTruble -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 7:20:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 i agree with your last paragraph and everything that you're saying except one thing is left out. If her name is not on the accounts and he dies and she is not legally wed to him. She cannot touch that money, No matter how good their relationship was.Especially if he is married or has children or family members that will contest the will. She will loose because he had control of everything and she doesn't have money to pay an attorney to pleasd her case.. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. Before Himself and I married and after I had already turned over all aspects of finanicial control to him, I could not write checks on his account nor could I access any of the money in it because I was not a signature to the account, however, he sent me up as the beneficiary under a POD (payment on death) so that the money would come to me in the event of his untimely demise. Celeste

cherrypez -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 7:31:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 ididn't know that. So you mean if i were his wife , or child and i took his sub to court. She would get an attorney for free? Or not need legal counsel? One does not need an attorney to contest a will, people can represent themselves.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 7:34:14 PM)
i realize that, but is she equipped to go up against an agressive attorney.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 7:36:36 PM)
You're right i am also on POD, but i am only referring to someone who is on nothing not even as POD.

cherrypez -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 7:38:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 i realize that, but is she equipped to go up against an agressive attorney. Who is 'she'? Jesus Christ---I give up.

laurell3 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 8:02:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 i agree with your last paragraph and everything that you're saying except one thing is left out. If her name is not on the accounts and he dies and she is not legally wed to him. She cannot touch that money, No matter how good their relationship was.Especially if he is married or has children or family members that will contest the will. She will loose because he had control of everything and she doesn't have money to pay an attorney to pleasd her case.. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. Before Himself and I married and after I had already turned over all aspects of finanicial control to him, I could not write checks on his account nor could I access any of the money in it because I was not a signature to the account, however, he sent me up as the beneficiary under a POD (payment on death) so that the money would come to me in the event of his untimely demise. Celeste Generally (I don't profess to know the exact probate laws of all states, but many are set up following the probate code which may or may not apply in all states) when there is a right of survivorship on an asset it does not pass through probate. Many assets can be set up that way, therefore they cannot be constested as they are not part of the probate estate. However, the OP mentioned someone that has a wife, which is entirely different as his property may be her property depending on what state you are in and in many states one cannot disinherit a surviving spouse even by having property pass outside the estate. Signing over property to a married D type is something one should think about very carefully.

Rayne58 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 8:06:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsLadySue This is my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree with me, butI can't for the life of me understand why anyone, vanilla or D/s, would hand over their finances and/or personal belongings to another. I understand the concept of sharing expenses and have willingly done so while married and also in a common-law relationship but under no circumstances would I hand over my pay cheque to my partner and leave myself pennyless. This is a hard limit for me as well. Sir and I share expenses as you do in any relationship but I am the one who makes sure the bills are paid on time. I know His ATM pin number and get money out for Him sometimes - I keep the receipt but He hardly bothers to look at it [:)] We've been together for 4 years. I still wouldn't give Him control over my money - not because I don't trust Him but because I will need access to funds should anything happen to Him (His health isn't good). Luckily He's not interested in having that responsibility [:)]

BitaTruble -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 8:26:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Generally (I don't profess to know the exact probate laws of all states, but many are set up following the probate code which may or may not apply in all states) when there is a right of survivorship on an asset it does not pass through probate. Many assets can be set up that way, therefore they cannot be constested as they are not part of the probate estate. However, the OP mentioned someone that has a wife, which is entirely different as his property may be her property depending on what state you are in and in many states one cannot disinherit a surviving spouse even by having property pass outside the estate. Signing over property to a married D type is something one should think about very carefully. I agree completely and I don't think that I would be capable of building a trust level that significant to turn over my own assets to a dominant who was married. That's why, in my response to taken, I qualfied my response with 'it's not entirely accurate' because it seemed as if a POD was an exception that fell outside the narrow parameter she had defined. She, later, qualified it to mean that any name not on the accounts, although a POD is not, technically, a name on the account any more than my children being a beneficiary in the event of my death in a car accident means that my car insurance will cover their car accidents as well. A POD, to me, is the same thing. I was not on the account yet I was not entirely unprotected because I was not on the account. Celeste

laurell3 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 8:27:27 PM)
Yeah I'm sorry Celeste, I wasn't at all disagreeing with you just using your post to illustrate POD or ROS is a great idea most of the time.

BitaTruble -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 8:31:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Yeah I'm sorry Celeste, I wasn't at all disagreeing with you just using your post to illustrate POD or ROS is a great idea most of the time. I, too, think they are great ideas and, in my case anyway, trusting him before finding out he was going to use a POD meant a lot to him. Him putting the POD on there, meant a lot to me. :) Now, of course, it's all moot because he done went and made me all legal and stuff. ::laughs:: Celeste

juliaoceania -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:11:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 You are the one who misunderstands. i am refering only to financial slaves that do not have any access to their money and their names are not on the account. i have already established that. So your last post to me makes no sense what so ever, because your situation was never what i was refering to.. You keep changing the parameters of your OP. You should design your OP to fit the narrow parameters that you want to address instead of changing it when people point out why their way of doing things isn't "stupid". The thing is, when we go around ass-uming things about other people and their relationships with our limited view, we tend to screw up because we haven't walked a mile in their shoes. You seem to have done this on other threads. I am not posting this to snark on you, far from it, I just want you to understand why some respond the way they do to you. As for me, if I am going to trust someone to cut my clothes off with a knife, take photos of me bound and beaten. Blindfold me and put things in my mouth, tell me when I can and cannot eat.... etc... it seems a small thing to hand over my account information, my money, everything I have for him to control. I felt that sort of trust by about 3 months into the relationship. He has trusted me with his credit card numbers, access to his bank statements.... basically I have went through his entire financial life to help him organize his office. If he would trust me like that, why wouldn't I trust him? He does not control these things yet, but it would not surprise me if he wanted to eventually, and I wouldn't even blink. In fact if he asked me for my account number tomorrow, I would give it. If he asked me to put his name on my account, I would. If after we live together he wanted me off everything I wouldn't blink... but I cannot imagine him being that way.. But if he was, there would be a damn good reason for it. Eventually, either you trust someone, or you don't. If you are going to merge your life with someone... either do it or don't. I do not want to live with someone that wouldn't trust me explicitly, and it is my aim and goal to be worthy of that trust. I definitely wouldn't live with someone that I couldn't trust on that level. You know, in life people get hurt. They get fucked over. What I have found is that if you prepare for getting fucked over, that is often what happens. I am too busy having fun being me to worry about my Daddy screwing me over economically in some distant future. I learn from the past, plan for the future, but live for today. I have been trying not to respond to threads about distrusting one's partner... it just seems incredibly negative to me. Perhaps one can start a thread of, "What made you trust your SO?" Instead of looking at why it is stupid to trust them, or how someone has a profile to scam free labor out of subs, or some other such thing....seriously

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:33:07 PM)
if i keep jumping around it is because certain posters were referring to what i have posted here and what i have posted on the other thread. They have blended them together. So i was going back and forth, as you can see i stopped, because it was just getting silly.

juliaoceania -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:40:28 PM)
There was never any reference in the other thread about financial slavery. That came from no where.

Rayne58 -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:42:24 PM)
julia, for me it's not a question of a lack of trust, it's a question of my security should something happen to Him. It would be bad enough to lose Him, but how would I live if I didn't have access to any funds to pay bills, rent and food? I have offered to give Him my PIN number, but as I posted above He doesn't want access to my accounts. I have a credit card which we both use, I am the one who pays the bill and He gives me His share in cash. I pay our bills using internet banking, because I know how it works. I would never take my name off my accounts. It's not a safe thing to do, and I have a duty to keep myself safe in all ways.

juliaoceania -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:49:01 PM)
I am not saying you do not trust your dom, I am saying that those who want to show that sort of trust are not "stupid" or "crazy". You need to work out what works for you. For me it doesn't work to limit my Daddy that way, but I can tell you right now, he would probably never ever in a million years put me in a situation where I couldn't have access to funds in the event something happened to him...

cufflynx -> RE: i have never known this to happen to anyone i know, but (1/12/2008 9:51:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I could also point out that leaving someone financially ruined at age under 25 really isn't usually that bad- most of us barely have anything solid and secure before that age anyway. But this is also the time someone can and should be building their foundation in life. Spending everything and getting into debt and/or ruining credit can be real tough to come back from, logistically and psychologically I wold imagine. I think it is just as awful to see a young person being taken advantage of, not better or worse, it is sad either way.

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