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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:04:42 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Cherry, perhaps read the quote in the third person... she's most likely projecting her own thoughts.  Again.

Cali


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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to cherrypez)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:07:45 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		OP... instead of using the word "Daddy", perhaps you could just state what it is that you want, so that any pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a Daddy are not immediately brought to the surface.  Something like, "I really like the idea of you doing _________, it would make me feel very safe if you were to take care of me that way." 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:09:53 PM   
cherrypez


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Cherry, perhaps read the quote in the third person... she's most likely projecting her own thoughts.  Again.

Cali


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:12:12 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Cherry, perhaps read the quote in the third person... she's most likely projecting her own thoughts.  Again.

Cali



snort

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:18:08 PM   
ITGirl68


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I wish you the best of luck with your talk. . I wouldn't have commented (you have received such wonderful advice and so many good suggestions already) except that I wanted to suggest that you consider sharing with him a well-written story in this genre that excites you and captures the essence of what you want - in addition to the rest of  "the talk." It can make it easier to address what excites you as well as taking off the pressure of either of you feeling that you (rather than the ideas) are being judged.

Good luck!
- Angel

(in reply to cherrypez)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:27:03 PM   
PrizedPosession


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline 		Just because one calls their Dom(me) Daddy or Mommy doesn't mean they have parental issues. For myself it's more about knowing that Master/Daddy takes care of me and its more about security.
If he loves you he should have no problem at least trying it out for you and i'm sure if he has a problem he will tell you and not judge you for it. Love shouldn't be about judgement its about acceptance.
-bobcat

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 1:27:59 PM   
BabyKittyKat


Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for the wonderful encoureging answers, I promise I`ll at least try to talk with Him about it. :) Wish me luck! Maybe after an hour I will write His response =^.^=

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Babygirl loves her Daddy!

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 2:26:25 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		good luck!

Daddy identified that what i *really* wanted was a DaddyDom before i agreed to be his.  we'd talked for the longest time (it felt that way at least!!) and knew that what i want/need is the sense of protection and nurturing, not ageplay or incest play.  bad juju, brings back too many actual experiences.

he calls me his lil girl, or his lil girl slave, and i am loved and happy.

kitten...who is very happy with her Daddy

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 3:12:16 PM   
agoodgirl4Daddy


Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline 		i hope that your talk goes well!  i agree with others that being honest and direct is the way to go.  let him know your concerns and feelings about disclosing this "___________" you have.  Is it a "need" , a "desire", a "craving,"  a "kink"?  only you know for sure! 

perhaps if he talks to people in the BDSM community who ID as "DADDY", he will come to view it differently!  i know that i used to be squicked by sexual age play.....now it turns me completely on!!  i was squicked by it because i didn't understand it. 



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~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to adoracat)
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RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 3:21:50 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyKittyKat

Since He`s a psychologist, He has some strange perceptions of such things..



You can bet your last bottom f'kn dollar he has...........

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 3:23:40 PM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		BabyKit, if you don't tell him now, it'll come out later.  If this is a part of you (and it's a part of me, so I know) then you MUST bring it up!  You can't go forever suffering without a major part of your sexual needs filled.  I had a very strong urge to be Daddy's little girl, including all kinds of age play, even as you say "incest" fantasy.  I wouldn't be happy without it, I just wouldn't.  Please, if you're serious about your relationship, and it sounds like you are, bring it up.  If you're not compatible in this way, you'd best find out sooner rather than later.  Be open with ALL your sexual needs, and your relationship with either flourish or end.  If it ends because you were yourself and open, then so be it.

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 10:11:02 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyKittyKat

Well, it`s not so much about the "no".. If He doesn`t want it, I can bare with that. But I`m scared what would He think afterwards. And also it won`t be pleasurable for Him to know I have some big desire, and He can`t fulfill it.


I can understand your concerns.... He is a THERAPIST ... one of the main issues that people come to therapy for are family of origin issues (i.e. mommy, daddy issues).  Therapists are taught for YEARS how to deal with people and their parental issues.  Thereapists are steeped in tradition, theory, research on these things that are NOT really big on open kink, generally speaking.  We spend about half our waking hours at work, and since this is probably an issue he deals wtih at work or at least has studied quite extensively, your concerns are VALID.  Also, you said in your original post that he has very definite ideas about this.

Your worries are so amazingly appropriate, I want to give you a gold star.  But that said, if you guys are into kink, it is probably not something he hasn't thought of.  

You said in your original post that you guys are into age play.  So, what is it about daddy play that you want?  If he is still squeamish, then you need to think about what you want from the play  -  perhaps an Uncle Daddy kind of thing may work...  Talk with him about it - your wishes, his concerns.  I'm betting that some kind of happy medium can be found.  And you know that no relationship will give anyone 100% of what they want.  He's a big boy, he will handle that.  And what he will think - well he will think it's good you told him the truth...  and whatever else he will think... and you will handle that.

Good luck, and let us know how the conversation goes.
peace.

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 10:43:11 PM   
tulitukka


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

OP... instead of using the word "Daddy", perhaps you could just state what it is that you want, so that any pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a Daddy are not immediately brought to the surface. Something like, "I really like the idea of you doing _________, it would make me feel very safe if you were to take care of me that way."

Cali



This is interesting from my own perspective. Because of certain issues of my own, I do not want to be called Daddy. I still recognize that a lot of what I do with my little one is what people generally refer to as daddy dynamic. I just have issues with the word. The issues come, because once upon a time I was thrust into such a dynamic without my consent and I guess I still haven't worked it all out.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 10:53:56 PM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		Just discuss it explaining you are more then a little interested in it and see what he says.  It may be a hard limit or it might be an area where he is willing to give it a bit of a go.

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/13/2008 11:14:50 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Not sure why he should have hang ups about it, but I suppose this doesn't mean that he doesn't.. so many odd beliefs out there.

To me, if you want it, try talking about it.  I'm guessing you're attached.. so the "if it doesn't work out, move on and you'll both be happier" argument may not fly here.  Still, honesty's a good thing.  Who knows?  If he tries it, he may like it.

I think it's often the people that make things work, that the particularly dynamic isn't the only factor.  He may like it with you, even if it wouldn't have been his first choice elsewise.

If you explain to him your reasons for wanting it in an honest and sweet manner, this will likely help your case out a lot.

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/14/2008 12:23:56 AM   
synn68


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/31/2007
Status: offline 		i guess i am looking at this a little different..........isn't the whole relationship suppose to be based on total honesty and open communication?  how can that be if you are afraid to talk to Him openly?

synn

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/14/2008 12:37:47 AM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hey the only thing to fear is fear itself ... don't submit to fear when it appears to be so much better submitting to him ... there has been some excellent advice on here, I am in with the party that says sit down and talk and start with talking about your fear, face it and conquer it.

all the best

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to synn68)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/14/2008 4:24:02 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i hope that everything goes well for you OP

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to taintedgypsy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/14/2008 4:44:07 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Aftr reading all of the post so far let me put it this way. Most of the advice was good. Forget about the ones who told you to beat around the bush. I dont care what his profession is he still is a man. Sit down with him with out the drink and bring it all out in the open and talk about it.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: About age play.. I`m ashamed to tell Him! :/ - 1/14/2008 4:54:34 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		BabyKittyKat there are so many different levels and types of age play. Have you been able to narrow it down to the part that bothers him?It could be potential diaper play that squicks him,Or it could be a weird feeling of 'ick this is incestual' especially since you both have played with age play a bit.Or it could be a confusion of is age play a type of pedophilia? Once you get closer to understanding just what part really bothers him then I think it would be a lot easier to discuss. Yes I do understand the fear of how he will see you once you reveal your needs but I bet he already has a strong idea that there is something along that line that you want to explore. I think that you ought to tell him just what it is you want to explore, it could very well turn out to be something on the 'mild' side that he has no problems with.Try telling him you want to discuss fantasies some time when you are both relaxed, I've found it easier to do in bed and in the dark. Sometimes I would write a story about what it was that I wanted to explore. It happens yes but most people I've talked to understand that just because someone has a fantasy or wants to explore something different that doesn't make the person a freak. It is scary worrying about it I really do understand. Hinting around, leaving papers or books around IMO is the wrong way to go about it. For me I am instructed to actually come to him and tell him things, if I can't work up the verbal words then I write it. If I hold something like this back it makes me feel like I'm lying and ohboy I don't like that. If you can let him know that by calling him daddy and by being his little girl gives you something wonderful without it feeling like a real daddy/daughter thing maybe that will ease him.Find out his worry, his fear and work from there. I wish you luck and I do hope that things work out as you hope.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 40
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