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ElanSubdued -> RE: Experience in protocol (1/14/2008 3:03:52 PM)
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ItalianSMistress,
quote:
NEVER for any reason, ever look Me directly in the eye, or face for that matter. (I had a girl for over five years that told Me that if we ever got separated in a crowd, unless she could see My feet, she would be fucked, as she would never be able to pick Me out from My face, LOL.)
Don't make any sudden movements, don't assume because I stand up or sit down, for example, that you can too, and always ask permission to even change position say, from kneeling to sitting.
Don't ever come or go, without showing Me the respect of kissing My feet, that is the best way to show appreciation, I expect this at the beginning and end of every session.
Make sure you always answer everything I say, right away, now matter what else may be going on around you, and pay close attention, as for what to call Me, its always been Mistress for My collared slaves, Ma'am for anyone else.
I not only do not allow any kind of climax without permission, with or without Me, unless otherwise stated, most times, you will have to have something to "trade" with Me, to make it interesting enough for Me to want to allow it.
When you bring Me something, like a drink, present it in front of Me, over your head, on your knees, and don't move until I take it.
In the context of a fantasy play scene, these are quite hot. However, if we're talking about real-life, day-to-day relationships, many of these seem impractical. And besides, do you really want the job of micromanaging every movement of your partner? That sounds like a lot of work. When I tried some of these protocols in one of my day-to-day relationships, they made communicating and getting things done very difficult. Simultaneously, these led to infractions (ultimately, difficulties between my domme and I) that didn't really exist. For example, eye contact and body movement restrictions were particularly problematic. As in other circumstances, I think it quite important to identify protocols appropriate for given situations. One doesn't fret about not spell checking a post-it reminder for grocery shopping, but such an omission for a resume probably renders the document useless. As much as the protocols themselves are important, so are context, time, and place.
Between domme and sub, one protocol I find essential is having trust and confidence in one another as individuals. Thus, before I prepare breakfast, the normal protocol might be that I ask my domme what she wants. However, if we've woken up late and are consequently in a rush, I may well get up and announce "I'm going to the kitchen to prepare our breakfast". Indeed, as I leave the room a moment later, I may never look for confirmation from my partner. As much as it may seem, this isn't an infraction. Rather, I trust that if my partner wants me to do something else, she will ask. Likewise, not asking my partner her menu selection isn't carelessness or thoughtlessness. We just need to get going and my domme knows this. Thus, when this kind of interaction interrupts our regular protocols, neither of us says anything because we both have trust and confidence in the other. It's an organic thing (further helped by my making sure she is pampered and has exactly what she wants when we're both home later in the day. :-)
Elan.
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