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BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:04:22 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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1. A little over a year ago, while on Yahoo Personals, I came across a profile of a guy who was obviously submissive.. I was ecstatic!! I hadn't been involved with or met anyone interested in this lifestyle since the late 80's!! He is the one who told me about Collarme and over this past year, we've became pretty good friends.
(I owe you big HB, but I am still cashing in on youknowwhat sometime soon :-) )

2. A few weeks ago, a local Dom friend of mine from CM told me he had resorted to opening a profile on Match.com. He was getting zero activity and was understandably frustrated. I told him to Dom it up a bit. He was considering closing the account anyway so what would he have to lose? (He is completely OUT btw..) I was talking about adding some little catch phrases here and there, mixed with some very light erotica references. Well, it turns out he copied his entire CM profile to his Match profile (it's a really good profile imo by the way ) and he changed his picture to one with him in full latex...LOL... Within a few hours he had two emails from women who were extrememly intrigued.

3. I myself posted a profile on a vanilla site with carefully worded code (ie: If you are tired of vanilla ice cream, then submit an email to me, or something like that.).. OMG, I think I got more email there than I do here! I would say at least 50% of them were kinksters, and about 10% of those were members of CM..

My question is: Does anyone out there ever just throw caution to the wind and just lay it out there on vanilla websites (or as much as you can without "outing" yourself)? What kinds of responses do you get? Anything funny/sad/great you care to share?

I know all the reasons NOT to, but I am interested in hearing from people who have had any success meeting other kinky people this way...

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:06:43 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I am interested in the responses to this thread. My real response is for your new pic... I love it!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 2

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:08:59 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Actually it was sort of done to me. I was a member of that type of site and was approached by a submissive woman, my main introduction into BDSM and a power exchange relationship. I owe her alot and will miss her forever.

And yes! Sexy new photo!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/14/2008 10:09:59 AM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 3

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:20:39 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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I have done it in the past. I mentioned that my favorite movies are Nine and a Half Weeks and The Secretary and then talked a bit about how I am a "take charge" kind of guy. I would always get responses, and many of them positive.

However, I find that it really isn't the place to go looking if you are not looking for the people you find to be your primary partner. If you want a boyfriend/girlfriend that is into kink (or can be taught/trained/lead/etc), then it is an untapped gold mine. However, if you are looking for a doormat slave (as I am), then you are better off sticking to the ABCs.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:24:17 AM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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Before I ever heard of CM, i was just on normal "dating" websites. Many people don't know CM and go somewhere else.
Mostly curious people and people from the lifestyle contacted me there.
Lots of females who were curious, but didn't dare...lol

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:31:37 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Well, I have various non BDSM links, blogs, forums and I do have a myspace (for my sins) and that is inherently 'vanilla'... and I would say I am pretty 'out' on that and have been from day one. I haven't found anyone approaching me because of it and I would disagree that you cannot find your primary partner with specifics on a non BDSM site, as Darcy and I found each other on a non BDSM site. It may be more difficult but not impossible.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:35:04 AM

BossyShoeBitch

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Julia and LaT- *blushes* Thank you!!
Taggard- Do think there may be doormats out there who just haven't found CM (or the like) yet? Do you still have profiles like that up?
JustMe- Love to hear about the females who were curious but didn't dare. What did your profile say?

Thanks for the responses, I'll be checking back later this evening for more!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:35:34 AM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
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Before I discovered CM and even BDSM proper, I was fully comfortable with the fact that I was more sexually adventurous than most, and looking for an aggressive, sexually adventurous man. I had a profile on match and made these things no secret, as they are a huge factor in compatibility. I didn't feel it was well-received. I felt the responses were low quality; people perceiving me as a slut and just loser guys wanting to get laid with a kinky slut. So I toned it down, got more high-quality responses, but not the kind of people I wanted. Didn't find any good kinky alpha male types. Resorted to craigslist with a more 'detailed' description of what I was looking for, and a response there pointed me to CM where I've been like a kid in a candy store!

Edited for spelling

< Message edited by Tigrita -- 1/14/2008 10:39:39 AM >

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

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(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

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RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 10:37:05 AM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Julia and LaT- *blushes* Thank you!!
Taggard- Do think there may be doormats out there who just haven't found CM (or the like) yet? Do you still have profiles like that up?
JustMe- Love to hear about the females who were curious but didn't dare. What did your profile say?

Thanks for the responses, I'll be checking back later this evening for more!

Oh It is a while ago. I was young and not very picky with my words...lol.
About owning females of course, but mostly the "spanking" was what they liked.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 11:12:47 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch
Taggard- Do think there may be doormats out there who just haven't found CM (or the like) yet? Do you still have profiles like that up?

Possibly, but I think it unlikely that they will have found Match.com, and not one of the ABCs. On top of that, the type of doormat I want is smart enough to find one of the ABCs.

I am sure my 'nilla profiles are still up, but I don't keep them active. I do advertise pretty heavily on a lifestyle swinger site, and that has been a pretty good source of play partners, but not very good in terms of long term Master/slave relationships. For that, nothing still beats CM or B.com.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 11:18:48 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

My Master found his previous slave before me on a non "D/s" site. She belonged to him about a year and a half. A submissive male friend of mine has an account on eHarmony.com and is getting lots of interesting feedback. And there are lots of ads on Craigslist for every kind of relationshp fathomable. D/s folks do travel into other genres, after all.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 12:21:20 PM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Before I found this place I always told my vanilla dates my interest. Some showed interest and some didnt. One date gave me strong hints before I could ask her. I have a cousin that is doing that. Very tempting but wonder if I should go there.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 3:39:20 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Well, I have various non BDSM links, blogs, forums and I do have a myspace (for my sins) and that is inherently 'vanilla'... and I would say I am pretty 'out' on that and have been from day one. I haven't found anyone approaching me because of it and I would disagree that you cannot find your primary partner with specifics on a non BDSM site, as Darcy and I found each other on a non BDSM site. It may be more difficult but not impossible.

the.dark.

I would love to hear the story of how you two met...

Tigrita- Just curious. Did you make reference to your being submissive or dominant?

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 3:50:03 PM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

I've mentioned things in my match.com profile. Nothing that would red flag someone who didn't understand, but things that a dominant would catch. I've never had a bad reaction.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:06:18 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I've mentioned things in my match.com profile. Nothing that would red flag someone who didn't understand, but things that a dominant would catch. I've never had a bad reaction.

But did you have any good reactions though?

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to flower2007)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:07:01 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Does anyone out there ever just throw caution to the wind and just lay it out there on vanilla websites (or as much as you can without "outing" yourself)? What kinds of responses do you get? Anything funny/sad/great you care to share?

Psst a secret...promise not to tell...I met Master on Guardian Soulmates....his profile simply said he enjoyed sexual experimentation......

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:09:34 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

And there are lots of ads on Craigslist for every kind of relationshp fathomable.

Craig's List makes collarme look vanilla..........

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:10:59 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Maybe I should go there! So many men think that woman on top sex is what female domination means! :)

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RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:16:05 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

And there are lots of ads on Craigslist for every kind of relationshp fathomable.

Craig's List makes collarme look vanilla..........

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM on vanilla dating sites? - 1/14/2008 4:24:36 PM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I didn't mention the words dominant and submissive, as they weren't really fully in my vocabulary at the time in this full context. I mentioned a couple of provocative things in my list of 'favorite things' and had some reference to primal, agressive sexuality, making it clear that I wanted an agressive, dominating man (though again I don't think I used the word dominant). I may have used the word alpha male. Can't remember specifically. Trying to find the original profile, I might just have it here somewhere...

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 20

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