subordinance -> RE: Do you have fantasies you don't share readily with your subs? (1/26/2008 8:32:47 AM)
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Akasha, While your original post definitely makes me very curious as to what these "too cruel to discuss" fantasies are, I can assure you that it is not your imagination that they "just KNOW". That's part of the fun. They know you want something, and how much more fun would it be if they figured it out? It is definitely true that trust must develop in a relationship before you can share your deepest secrets, but I imagine that one of the major obstacles to this type of relationship is that what you want is probably so unique that it is hard to know what your sub will truly think (which is also part of why he hesitates to share with you). Plus, our desires evolve over time as we are exposed to different ideas, so what scares him off today might intrigue him tomorrow. So you wonder if the timing is right. You're ready to go, but you're not ready to lose him. If it helps, just remember that the fantasy can only work if he shares it, so if the most important fantasies are too scary for him, they just aren't games you two can play together. Sometimes it will be best to wait, and sometimes it is better to know. Remember that, if he truly is submissive, deep down he is very turned on by stories of you being cruel to him. Even over the top. And he should know that his own fantasies are the same way. He would be just as horrifed if you did everything to him that HE fantasized about, as he would be if you did everything you fantasized about. Or, might I say, he would be just as horrifed if you did what he SHOULD be fantasizing about. Looking scared is part of his job, so be expecting that. Returning disrespect for the fantasy is not.
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