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So many female subs - 8/27/2005 7:09:04 PM   
truesubboy


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		As a sub male, I have the default settings for the homepage set to show Dommes. Today, however, just for fun I perused the list of female subs and was astonished to see how many there are. I must confess I wished for a few brief moments that I was a top, alas, I am not, and would probably have no better luck in that world, but I was surprised at how many female subs there are versus how many female Dommes. Has anyone else noticed this? Or am I just experiencing a grass-is-greener phenomenon?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: So many female subs - 8/27/2005 7:54:42 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		It's not a grass is greener situation.

Statistically speaking (using legitimate surveys, not head counds of self-identifying online personas), considering all sexes and orientations (to include gay & lesian leather), the largest orientation segment in the Scene are submissive males. This is followed closely by submissive females, Dominant males, and the rarest is the Dominant female.

This relative relationship appears in survey after survey after survey. The exact ratio varies from survey to survey, so depending on which one you want to believe it may be as low as 5 submissives to every Dominant, to as high as 20 subs per dominant.

Yet online we see in the chat rooms anyway, the ratio getting closer to 1 to 1. Again, statistically speaking, this means that at BEST, 4 out of 5 self proclaimed online Doms are bullshit artists. If you go to the far end of the spectrum it means that 95% of OL Doms are posers and HNG's.

Online Domme's may or may not be part of the BS brigade, but they will always be the rarest commodity. They have the most targets to select from, and get to pick and choose their bottoms. IF you want to be selected you need to be an outstanding example of honesty, humilty, service, and civility. You need to stand above the rest in courtesy and mannerisms. Be bright, vivacious, be conversant with things that interest _her_. Throwing yourself at her without being invited, using over the top, "I'm a lowly worm, use me as you wish, Mistress" nonsence will usually get you ignored.

Good hunting!
- Geoff

(in reply to truesubboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: So many female subs - 8/27/2005 9:42:45 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Are any of these surveys available to be inspected? The situation you're describing matches my experience too, but I'd be very curious to see real numbers if there are any.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Statistically speaking (using legitimate surveys, not head counds of self-identifying online personas), considering all sexes and orientations (to include gay & lesian leather), the largest orientation segment in the Scene are submissive males. This is followed closely by submissive females, Dominant males, and the rarest is the Dominant female.

This relative relationship appears in survey after survey after survey. The exact ratio varies from survey to survey, so depending on which one you want to believe it may be as low as 5 submissives to every Dominant, to as high as 20 subs per dominant.


(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: So many female subs, #'s for MA - 8/27/2005 10:58:56 PM   
DomButNotForgotn


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know if I can take EvilGeoff's statement at face value, not noting a specific study/survey, the study methods or criteria used.

However, just in terms of gender: at Alt.com, for singles seeking singles in my state, Massachusetts, there are 26,956 Males compared to 2,577 Females. This does NOT indicate D/s preference, just gender...

Even if 40% of the Males in Massachusetts are Doms (and I bet it's more than that, like maybe 80%) there are 10,784 Doms looking for (let's say 90% of the females are subs) 2,319 female subs....

As far as being a straight Dom seeking a sub, it depends on your interests, verbal skills, and patience. It is still not easy.

I know a few sub guys, and a married one largely depends on pro Dommes. I suppose you can find a Domme, but as with anything, finding the right person is a matter of devotion (to the search), persistance, and luck. Good luck!

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: So many female subs - 8/28/2005 12:37:39 AM   
thelight


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline 		i keep seeing the term "HNG" a over the place, but i can't figure it out. could someone please tell me what it means?

_____________________________

thelight is forbidden to shine

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: So many female subs - 8/28/2005 12:44:26 AM   
ragdoll


Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight

i keep seeing the term "HNG" a over the place, but i can't figure it out. could someone please tell me what it means?


HNG is an IRC term that gets used inna lot of Message Board communities too.

HNG = Horny 'Net Guy/Geek

< Message edited by ragdoll -- 8/28/2005 12:45:21 AM >

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: So many female subs - 8/28/2005 3:58:38 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Online Domme's may or may not be part of the BS brigade, but they will always be the rarest commodity. They have the most targets to select from, and get to pick and choose their bottoms.

Sure. I found about 15 what you call HNGs, 5 wannabes that got scared when it came to RL meeting, 1 still "under consideration" (although I am not exactly sure who is considering whom so far).

So many targets to pick and choose indeed. Didnt know I was that picky.

Really, sometimes I feel I am dealing with heap of scared little bunnies and not grown up men. Wonder how those people manage to get out of their secure little houses and buy themselves something to eat. Someone may jump on them around the first corner and tear their head off.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: So many female subs - 8/28/2005 5:22:35 AM   
laurax


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline 		Can't say I have noticed that from where I am sitting (London, UK). On the UK based site I generally use, there appear to be more male subs than female - beginning to think it is more prevalent in the UK.

Certainly, Dommes seem equally in demand and lacking in numbers as they do in the US.

(in reply to truesubboy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: So many female subs - 8/28/2005 6:50:32 AM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		I can't say that I have seen so called surveys but everytime there is talk of how many there might be, it always comes up as there are more male subs than any other group..then female subs, Doms and the the elusive Dommes...

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to laurax)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: So many female subs, #'s for MA - 9/4/2005 8:12:46 PM   
bladerunner5


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomButNotForgotn
I don't know if I can take EvilGeoff's statement at face value, not noting a specific study/survey, the study methods or criteria used.

However, just in terms of gender: at Alt.com, for singles seeking singles in my state, Massachusetts, there are 26,956 Males compared to 2,577 Females. This does NOT indicate D/s preference, just gender...

Even if 40% of the Males in Massachusetts are Doms (and I bet it's more than that, like maybe 80%) there are 10,784 Doms looking for (let's say 90% of the females are subs) 2,319 female subs....

As far as being a straight Dom seeking a sub, it depends on your interests, verbal skills, and patience. It is still not easy.

I know a few sub guys, and a married one largely depends on pro Dommes. I suppose you can find a Domme, but as with anything, finding the right person is a matter of devotion (to the search), persistance, and luck. Good luck!


I would also have to wonder about various aspects of the self-identification. How were the categories defined? I do some time on the D-side of D/S, but I don't identify as a Dom/me. I'm more likely to identify in the Top/Bottom terms, but manymanymany surveys and questionaires - and people responding to them - automatically assume that if you're into BDSM at all, it's all about the power exchange. Then there's the folks who don't identify as a single title every single minute of every single day. I'm a switch, but I don't always get that box to check. Or I might be going through a seriously submissive phase. Or I might be going through a seriously toppy phase. Or I might feel generally dommish but because I'm not 24/7/365, so I might not feel justified in checking the 'dom' box. I'd also be very wary about who I was letting know I was a female dominant. However many female dominants there actually are, they get the most crap in their mailboxes. I'd be very careful who I was letting know I'm what. I really don't care to widely advertise that I'm submissive and looking either, because again I get a slew of crap in my inbox. So I am careful with how much information I share, what terms I use and who gets to read it.
That sort of stuff heavily affects the numbers you're going to get back.


Bladerunner

"Just wearing black leather does not make you Leatherfolk, anymore than wearing wool makes you a sheep."
--Jack Rinella

(in reply to DomButNotForgotn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: So many female subs - 9/5/2005 8:05:33 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		What do the surveys mean anyway? They are typically taken in a small area and apply only at the time they were taken. Although the results you mention may be true in your area and at that time, there could be many cities where the opposite is true.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to truesubboy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: So many female subs - 9/5/2005 12:34:42 PM   
erebus


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline 		It's a well-known fact that there are many many more male subs than female Dommes. I believ the male Dom/female sub ratio is much more equally.

Numbers are suspect, but since anecdotal reports are all consistant, one can safely conclude the general proportions.

However, in talking with Dommes, they complain that many so-called male subs disappear, fail to meet at appointed times, don't follow through, that one can conclude that many male subs are fantasy subs only.

The number of true, committed, honest, real male subs is far less than the reported 20-to-1 numbers. I'd suspect that it's more like 2-to-1 or thereabouts.

I also suspect that there are more self-described Doms than actually know which is the business end of a flogger.

In general, I think the female Domme/sub is less engaged in make-believe topping/bottoming, and, if they get this far, are more likely to be the real thing.

(in reply to truesubboy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: So many female subs - 9/5/2005 10:53:22 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff


Online Domme's may or may not be part of the BS brigade, but they will always be the rarest commodity. They have the most targets to select from, and get to pick and choose their bottoms. IF you want to be selected you need to be an outstanding example of honesty, humilty, service, and civility. You need to stand above the rest in courtesy and mannerisms. Be bright, vivacious, be conversant with things that interest _her_. Throwing yourself at her without being invited, using over the top, "I'm a lowly worm, use me as you wish, Mistress" nonsence will usually get you ignored.

Good hunting!
- Geoff


Though I agree with the idea that there are few Female Dominants in comparison to those submissives seeking one, I do not agree with the idea that these Dominants get to 'pick and chose'. This sounds a lot like we get the cream of the crop when in reality we usually get to view the chaff. As we are unindated with wannabees and HNG's it is no wonder that many times we become bitter and very cynical. If a decent male submissive/slave should pop onto our screen he is already in the negative. There is no 'benifit of the doubt' as he is automatically relegated to 'troll' status and has to earn his way upward to 'decent person'. This is very sad as it often means that these great submissive guys never get a chance to connect with the equally great Dominant women.

Though at first it may sound like being a Female Dominant is a grand thing - all the choice and everything at your finger tips - it sometimes turns out to be simply frustrating and unproductive.

Wickad

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: So many female subs - 9/7/2005 7:45:49 AM   
QueenVamp


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I really loved EvilGeoff's comment of:

quote:

IF you want to be selected you need to be an outstanding example of honesty, humilty, service, and civility. You need to stand above the rest in courtesy and mannerisms. Be bright, vivacious, be conversant with things that interest _her_. Throwing yourself at her without being invited, using over the top, "I'm a lowly worm, use me as you wish, Mistress" nonsence will usually get you ignored.


He is completely correct!

Also, don't put a picture of your crotch as your profile picture. We don't care how small your willy is. No matter how big it is we can always buy a dildo that is bigger. So just leave those pics out unless we ASK for them.

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: So many female subs - 9/7/2005 8:32:08 AM   
Veav


Posts: 150
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		I feel a little hurt. Just because my profile isn't straight dom, what, I'm not worthy of being promised eternal devotion and unclothed servitude? I want to be offered a chance to help the exiled Minister of Brazil launder his money too! I want to get form letters in my inbox! Remember... if everyone doesn't have an equal opportunity to help some suburban housewife jill off to her favorite fantasy... the terrorists win.

_____________________________

Yes, I am Gordon Freeman. Accept this, and move on with your life.

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 1:08:26 PM   
FootBottom


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, I have to say something guys - In Today's day and age... the "girl-power" age as they call it - I find it absolutely mind-boggling that there is such a short supply of Dominant females. With all the disrespectful Males out there in normal everyday relations and relationships, one would think and Expect there to be MANY females that have been hurt by males and thus would like some sort of "revenge" - to "turn the tables" - on a Male... and yet there is such short supply of the female dominant. Just something I wonder about.

(in reply to Veav)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 1:10:20 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Being dominant isn't about turning tables, FootBottom. It's about love, not hate. Submissive women watch out for men who pose as doms because they hate women; I'd assume submissive men ought to take the same advice.

(in reply to FootBottom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 5:12:17 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

the ratio getting closer to 1 to 1. Again, statistically speaking, this means that at BEST, 4 out of 5 self proclaimed online Doms are bullshit artists. If you go to the far end of the spectrum it means that 95% of OL Doms are posers and HNG's


The problem is that chat rooms of course are not a representative sample of the community, so your conclusion isn't statistical in the least.

It may be that Doms are more likley to go online and hang out in chat rooms more often. As others have pointed out, the male/female ratio for pretty much any online activity is always skewed much more towards males, though thankfully it has been balancing out in the last few years.

That said, I do suspect that a LOT of the pseudo-doms are much more likely to be active in a chat room than elsewhere, simply because its easier to fake it :)

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 5:29:12 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

one would think and Expect there to be MANY females that have been hurt by males ...and yet there is such short supply of the female dominant.


I'm sure it probably crosses the mind for some women (the same way "hey, I can tell a girl to suck my dick and she has to do it!" crosses the mind of some men) , but it would be pretty difficult to rearrange your personality in such a way to be truly, comfortably dominant for any period of time.

(in reply to FootBottom)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: So many female subs - 9/10/2005 5:47:04 PM   
ManOwner


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

The number of true, committed, honest, real male subs is far less than the reported 20-to-1 numbers. I'd suspect that it's more like 2-to-1 or thereabouts.


Thank you, THANK you, THANK YOU!!!!

(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 20
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