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ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: Justme696

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes

Did you ask him what bothers him? If that is possible in your relation ofcourse.
We males are not always such talkers, but when your special one asks you....we might talk sometimes.

Absolutely!!...I LOVE talking with Him. We talk about everything, and I have a pretty good handle on whats bugging Him....Its just "stuff"....It happens...everybody has "stuff"...most times it rolls off your back...and sometimes it gets stuck LOL. He enjoys whipping me...I enjoy getting whipped....and when He is a little on the frustrated side its a little more ...i don't know fun?...spirited?.....Theres a different energy to it thats not bad at all....its almost therapeutic. Perhaps I'm explaining it badly, but I liked the last time the circumstances were similar.

You're not explaining it badly at all and I understand it can be very theraputic for both of you.
If if feels good to both of you, go for it!

The other stress reducers are of course what some others have said: Quiet and peace, foot massage, blowing up a few cans, talking about what the current stress is caused by and adding HUMOR (love that one myself)   etc. first.
The way you met him at the door, and the fact that both of you got pleasure and relief from it, well that's just really sweet in my book.

Sometimes when I have a lot of energy pent up I will post something on my journal, and I know a couple of subs who love to step up to the plate that way, and serve a trusted domme by 'offering up their backside'. Sometimes within an hour I will see a couple of genuine emails from subs who  long for and even crave it, and experience a lot of pleasure serving that way.

It's a balance of course:  Being aware of limits clearly on both ends; the strong trust that needs to be there. I know you are in a wonderful one-on-one relationship with your Dom and so you are really there for each other. I 'get' from your post that he works on his stress in every way he can, so IMO what you do for him is a beautiful thing to help him let off steam for the things he cannot change at the moment. If our society were a more open one, people could let off steam like this and be a healthier place for all of us...? That's a theory of mine anyway.

I am happy for you both. I assume from what you wrote that this is the 'extra' steam and that your Dom takes responsibility for everything he can in his day to day stressors. Just like you probably do. And if you both find relief when you offer up your backside, it can be cathartic and healing for both of you.

It's all about balance. As long as your eyes and hearts are focused on what's best for both of you, (and it certainly sounds like it is), then it all works out for the betterment for both of you and your growing relationship.

I think you're both very fortunate to have found each-other!
My best to you and may you both be very happy together for a long, long time!
Irish

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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ORIGINAL: Justme696

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear ya...and understand....Its the things that we can't control or stuff that normally wouldn't get to us that can stress us when other stuff is gone screwy ! ......I never said this was a "problem solver" ...just a way (a fun way) for Him to relieve some frustration, but He doesn't necessarily think of it on His own sometimes

Did you ask him what bothers him? If that is possible in your relation ofcourse.
We males are not always such talkers, but when your special one asks you....we might talk sometimes.

Absolutely!!...I LOVE talking with Him. We talk about everything, and I have a pretty good handle on whats bugging Him....Its just "stuff"....It happens...everybody has "stuff"...most times it rolls off your back...and sometimes it gets stuck LOL. He enjoys whipping me...I enjoy getting whipped....and when He is a little on the frustrated side its a little more ...i don't know fun?...spirited?.....Theres a different energy to it thats not bad at all....its almost therapeutic. Perhaps I'm explaining it badly, but I liked the last time the circumstances were similar.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Breathesasone is your font getting lighter or my eyes getting worse?  :)

I get what you're saying.  There was a thread like this a long time ago, in which those of us who like to be a place where our Dominants can take out their frustrations received some pretty high doses of criticism.  I think it is a sensitive topic because it dances so closely to dangerous cruelty.

In my case, were I to offer something of myself, he would laugh and say he owns it anyway and can do what he wants with it.  However, I have suggested before, to present my ass for a whipping if it would help him work off frustrations.  There are times he wishes to do this and times he does not.  In the way some people will go to the gym for a work out when stressed,  he finds it relaxing to flog me, or to use me in other ways that are enjoyable to him.  It's very similar to my desire to be at his feet when I am stressed.

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i would not be able to bring myself to flog or spank or any sort of impact play when i was angry. i

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

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i would not be able to bring myself to flog or spank or any sort of impact play when i was angry. i

I agree!...and my Daddy never has and never will do that out of anger.

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ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

To the op. I understand what your doing and why. It is just not the way I would do it. I dont believe in bringing outside stress into a relationship.I deal with it when it happens.  I would ask if there was some way That I could help others to relieve theirs.

But see....one of the ways I want to help Daddy relieve His stress, is working it out with His flogger He got for Christmas or His riding crop He loves so much!...... Its not the ONLY way I help Him (if He even needs my help) deal with/process stress. Just the most FUN way.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Fox has done this in the past and the results are that it pisses me off. I don't do SM when I'm having negative emotions, that's my own safety issue in my own household.

What works better for me is for him to just kneel in front of me and wait for me to act. Most of my stress comes from feeling out of control after all so being reminded that I have a lot of control and authority from one beautiful person can reset my emotional priorities fairly quickly.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

In my case, were I to offer something of myself, he would laugh and say he owns it anyway and can do what he wants with it. 

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ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I completely get what she and You are saying. I also find great stress relief in playing. It doesn't have to be mean & sadistic, just "catching a little Domspace". It isn't done in anger. The physicality of it and the interaction helps. Of course, it depends on the "flavor" of the stress.

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ORIGINAL: Dari

In the spirit of the post - no matter what a sub does to try to help relieve my stress, that they're trying is important to me, and often makes me pause long enough to at least smile at their efforts, even when it goes awry.  The measure of the depth of a relationship (or one of them anyway) is knowing what to offer to help them feel better.