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SugarMyChurro -> RE: .Erasing flaws. (1/16/2008 11:01:12 AM)
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Many people have already said great things about compromise, growing together in relation to one another, good communication, mutual tolerance, etc. Maybe I missed this in someone else's comments, but my contribution is this:
I, as a dominant man, am always striving to improve myself. First and foremost, I dominate myself - and believe me, it's necessary! I am not omniscient, all powerful, nor perfect in any particular way. Lately I have been thinking about how we all have our own strengths, weaknesses, talents and flaws - and it is in the interplay of these characteristics that we define ourselves as who we are and what we intend to be. Discovering what these characteristics are and then exploiting or overcoming them is basically the fundamental work of one's life.
Information about one's flaws can come from any source. I don't see how it makes any difference who or what the original messenger is in this game of self-discovery. You find things out and then you act upon that information.
In my own relationship, I adopt a posture of superiority toward my partner. I am also quite a bit more dictatorial about my own wants and needs than is my slave. But that hardly means that I find her intelligent contributions to our life together unworthy of consideration - to the contrary, it is her ability to make useful contributions to our life that makes her such a prize. If flaws are discussed they are not discussed absent mutual respect for each other and our possible feelings about the subject under discussion. We don't call each other names and we both know that underlying every possibly critical word or action is the abiding commitment and deep affection that we share one for the other. If we didn't care about each other, there would be hardly any point to talking about these matters at all.
I want to be a good master, and I want her to be a good slave. And so it goes.
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Someone, I think the OP, mentioned something about unconditional love. For myself I don't really believe in anything like that. Life is always conditional - frankly, upon thousands of things. The best we can hope for is to be honorable about our intentions and commitments by carrying through with action. But deal-breakers do exist and there are things I won't tolerate. I am a patient man, but at the end of things I know it's my way or the highway and I do expect my wishes to be carried out for the most part.
Punishmnent is always possible as is the eventual possibility of release. I wouldn't jump to that ultimate penalty, but it's there if needed.
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