please be polite, answer your messages (Full Version)

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maitreabsolu -> please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 5:52:38 AM)

I posted so many messages , yet got very few answers, why not answer, even if, and especially if, you are not interested, a simple 'no thanks' would do



ragdoll -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 6:15:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: maitreabsolu

I posted so many messages , yet got very few answers, why not answer, even if, and especially if, you are not interested, a simple 'no thanks' would do


i responded to the very similar topic you started in Ask a Submissive/Slave



DesertRat -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 8:57:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: maitreabsolu

I posted so many messages , yet got very few answers, why not answer, even if, and especially if, you are not interested, a simple 'no thanks' would do


I understand your frustration, but the best way to deal with this issue is to get used to it. It won't be changing anytime soon. The women here get WAY too much mail to permit responding to every one. Now that you've vented, let it go.

Bob



happypervert -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 9:06:18 AM)

No reply IS saying no thanks.

Why don't you try giving them a reason to reply. Looks like you spent all of 30 seconds to create your profile; it says nothing that differentiates you from countless other guys out there typing with one hand. So if you can't be bothered to make yourself sound the least bit interesting you've got no business expecting any replies or politeness at all.



DesertRat -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 9:15:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

No reply IS saying no thanks.

Why don't you try giving them a reason to reply. Looks like you spent all of 30 seconds to create your profile; it says nothing that differentiates you from countless other guys out there typing with one hand. So if you can't be bothered to make yourself sound the least bit interesting you've got no business expecting any replies or politeness at all.


That is a good point that I totally missed. No reply is indeed a reply. Having a profile that took more than 5 minutes to create definitely helps.

Bob



Lordandmaster -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 9:17:53 AM)

Oh, come on. That's like asking people to respond to every article of spam they receive.



dominmd -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 12:33:10 PM)

I think I have been here for about 2 months maybe a little more by now. I have sent about a dozen emails to "subs" and that is about it. Some have replied while others have not. I have also received plenty of emails from subs and dom/dommes about my sensible posting here on the forums. And I have received emails from exactly 3 subs and 1 domme interested in talking further and building a relationship.

Now much of this has to do with how often I post to these forums (a lot). It also has to do with my profile which to me, is long winded but descriptive of me. A male's profile here must set him beyond the one handed writers if he is looking. A picture helps a great deal in a profile since it has been proven that statistically, profiles with pics receive more hits. Women respond to details much more so than me, since men are more visually driven by nature. BUT, women still want to see whom they are speaking with.

My advice is to re-write your profile, and see what happens. Patience is key.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 2:57:08 PM)

Well Sir ..it does help that you are so Darnnnnnnn cute as well!!!! oooh la la
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd

I think I have been here for about 2 months maybe a little more by now. I have sent about a dozen emails to "subs" and that is about it. Some have replied while others have not. I have also received plenty of emails from subs and dom/dommes about my sensible posting here on the forums. And I have received emails from exactly 3 subs and 1 domme interested in talking further and building a relationship.

Now much of this has to do with how often I post to these forums (a lot). It also has to do with my profile which to me, is long winded but descriptive of me. A male's profile here must set him beyond the one handed writers if he is looking. A picture helps a great deal in a profile since it has been proven that statistically, profiles with pics receive more hits. Women respond to details much more so than me, since men are more visually driven by nature. BUT, women still want to see whom they are speaking with.

My advice is to re-write your profile, and see what happens. Patience is key.




dominmd -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 7:30:06 PM)

You're not so bad either hon. Your second picture really shows how cute you are.



Aileen68 -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/28/2005 10:33:05 PM)

I second that opinion Jenny...LOL
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpettjenny

Well Sir ..it does help that you are so Darnnnnnnn cute as well!!!! oooh la la
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd

I think I have been here for about 2 months maybe a little more by now. I have sent about a dozen emails to "subs" and that is about it. Some have replied while others have not. I have also received plenty of emails from subs and dom/dommes about my sensible posting here on the forums. And I have received emails from exactly 3 subs and 1 domme interested in talking further and building a relationship.

Now much of this has to do with how often I post to these forums (a lot). It also has to do with my profile which to me, is long winded but descriptive of me. A male's profile here must set him beyond the one handed writers if he is looking. A picture helps a great deal in a profile since it has been proven that statistically, profiles with pics receive more hits. Women respond to details much more so than me, since men are more visually driven by nature. BUT, women still want to see whom they are speaking with.

My advice is to re-write your profile, and see what happens. Patience is key.






kuntbaby -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (8/29/2005 12:10:04 AM)

I reply to the messages that are unique and pique my interest. I get so many messages complimenting me on the same thing without asking anything specific that would allow me to start an intelligent conversation. Key point being-if you message me with something interesting and intriguing, I'll respond, otherwise, don't expect anything.



OscarHargraves -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/2/2005 11:10:18 AM)

The simple answer is that something is not triggering others to reply. Consider these things:
1) Improve your profile. Is it well written? Is it detailed without being rude? Did you use proper spelling and grammar? Does it talk about you and what you are interested in?
2) Consider some new pics of yourself and rotate them on this website so people know who you are.
3) Are there things about you that turn people off or scare them away? Are these things that you could change?
4) Last, but not least: Are you happy with yourself and who you are? What can you do to improve your own self-image? Would that help how others see you too?

Just remember my opinion is worth at least what you paid for it............zip, zilch, nada!



Kasia -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/2/2005 11:46:40 AM)

This is my last post on this issue, for anyone interested in writing to me eventually:


  • Read my profile.
  • Write something you think might interest me (no, your sexual fantasies do not qualify).
  • Convince me in answering you back.

Any messages not meeting above criteria will be deleted.

*turns her back and walks away from any further threads on the subject (and no, you may not tell me I have nice ass, I know that, tell me something I dont know)*



dommemagnet -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/2/2005 12:09:34 PM)

I can't even find your profile to decide whether or not I want to send you a message much less whether you would have any interest in seeing one from me.

Not really looking but often I follow the postings to the profile to determine what type of personality is behind the post. In your case, always get "no profile found"

Just an FYI in case you want to delve into the reason it may be happening. Of course you may have your profile blocked for men. If so, that makes perfect sense.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

This is my last post on this issue, for anyone interested in writing to me eventually:


  • Read my profile.
  • Write something you think might interest me (no, your sexual fantasies do not qualify).
  • Convince me in answering you back.

Any messages not meeting above criteria will be deleted.

*turns her back and walks away from any further threads on the subject (and no, you may not tell me I have nice ass, I know that, tell me something I dont know)*




Kasia -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/2/2005 12:17:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dommemagnet

I can't even find your profile to decide whether or not I want to send you a message much less whether you would have any interest in seeing one from me.

Not really looking but often I follow the postings to the profile to determine what type of personality is behind the post. In your case, always get "no profile found"

Just an FYI in case you want to delve into the reason it may be happening. Of course you may have your profile blocked for men. If so, that makes perfect sense.


I have great feeling of deja vue here, because I answered that one already and I think I answered it to you in fact.
Not to repeat myself endlesly - please do read my signature.



dommemagnet -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/2/2005 12:34:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia


quote:

ORIGINAL: dommemagnet

I can't even find your profile to decide whether or not I want to send you a message much less whether you would have any interest in seeing one from me.

Not really looking but often I follow the postings to the profile to determine what type of personality is behind the post. In your case, always get "no profile found"

Just an FYI in case you want to delve into the reason it may be happening. Of course you may have your profile blocked for men. If so, that makes perfect sense.


I have great feeling of deja vue here, because I answered that one already and I think I answered it to you in fact.
Not to repeat myself endlesly - please do read my signature.


No, I can't remember posting to you before but then again at my advanced age how the heck do I know. I do remember seeing where you pointed that out to someone else.

I hardly ever read the signatures in the posts. Should be more observant. Have a great weekend.



ehlovindom -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/3/2005 7:38:23 PM)

You do NOT say what it is you write in these messages. Are they one sentence, two? Do you take the time to read the sub's profile or are you just mass mailing.

Furthermore, you wrote this post on the 28th of August and it is now September 3rd and your profile has one paragraph indicating you want to train subs/slaves. If you emailed me, I would not respond based on that no matter what you wrote in your email. I am not saying write a very detailed and elaborate profile like this idiot ( http://http:www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/12889/details.htm ) but surely you can do better than what is on your profile now.




wolffeathers -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/5/2005 9:23:37 AM)

In reply to all that said to the oringanl poster "Write more profile".

I have a three sentence profile. Why, because I would rather people get to know me, instead of having some preconsived idea on what/who I am from a profile.

I have found before, that the profile's normally mean jack when it comes to the person. The person is ATTEMPTING to put themselves in the best light. I'd rather get to know them through email/IM/phone then what's on a profile.

Then again, this is coming from a Dom that's not really looking for someone right now.



Orbital -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/5/2005 9:47:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: maitreabsolu

I posted so many messages , yet got very few answers, why not answer, even if, and especially if, you are not interested, a simple 'no thanks' would do


Unfortunately - and this is really sad - some people interpret a response (ANY response) as a "connection" and won't let up. Thoughtful people who receive a message which says "Thank you, but I'm not interested" will either stop writing altogether or send one more message saying "I appreciate the note. Good luck" or something similar. Other people will just persist and pester.

It's also worth noting that some people get a lot of messages in their in-box. Answering each and every one (especially when they are mostly mindless blathering) is more hassle than most of us are willing to undertake. It's a shame, because good intentioned people sometimes get the cold shoulder, but I have a lot of sympathy for people who are avalanched in messages from those seeking their attention.



StanBWonderful -> RE: please be polite, answer your messages (9/7/2005 12:46:38 PM)

OK OK, no one expects anyone to reply to one-liners/spam etc. But if someone puts a little time and effort into a messege I don't think expecting a reply is unreasonable, it's almost impossible to let someone know who you really are with a single intro messege. Just accepting that half the people on this site have the right to ignore the other half just seems absurd to me, none of us would be so tolerant of this situation in real time. 'No reply' doesn't mean 'I'm not interested', it means sit and wait like a tit until I find the time to get back to you, if at all. Seems to me like everyone on this site who has spent more than a few weeks searching for a partner ends up jaded and cinical, the guys complain about never getting a reply, the gals complain about the number of players and wankers on here. Can't help but think these problems might not be so bad if we just spent some time getting to know each other instead of chasing love away when it knocks on your door.

Stan

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Max Erhmann, Desiderata



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