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RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/16/2008 11:34:56 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I would never ask for punishment it hurts.  In the 23 months we have benn together i have only been punished 2 times.  Both times it was corporal punishment.  Of course there is a huge difference between a play and a punishment spanking.  I don't like pain so the corporal punishment works for me.  Master does give me a choice but usually one is a bad as the other so is really no choice.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/16/2008 7:49:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've asked to be "hurt".  Meaning that I would like the sensation of pain.  And trust me, it's not something I ask for often.
But I do not ask for punishment.  There is a difference between experiencing the sensation of pain and being reprimanded for something done wrong. 
I've never understood why anyone would ask to be punished.  


I got stuck in guilt once and couldn't let it go. So he gave me a token punishment which allowed me to cry it out and then move on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 12:42:13 AM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline 		(FR)
I'm guessing you're talking about play punishment and not actual punishment.  It's simple.  If I would like to be spanked, I ask.  If there's anything I would like to try, I ask.  He decides what will and what will not happen. 

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 3:42:15 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've asked to be "hurt".  Meaning that I would like the sensation of pain.  And trust me, it's not something I ask for often.
But I do not ask for punishment.  There is a difference between experiencing the sensation of pain and being reprimanded for something done wrong. 
I've never understood why anyone would ask to be punished.  


I got stuck in guilt once and couldn't let it go. So he gave me a token punishment which allowed me to cry it out and then move on.


ohhh   that made me speachless   (not in a bad way though)  just is new to me 

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 4:13:29 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
Your question is too vague to give you a considered response.
First you need to define what you mean by 'punishment'.  If you are asking for it, that does not sound like punishment to me.  Receiving pain for pleasure is completely different from being punished because you did something againsts your dominants wishes/desires.
Secondly, Darcy would not 'comply' - he would consider a request and then make the decision.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 5:03:29 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova
Can a slave ask or suggest a punishment / idea to his or her Dom? If so what have you asked for?  Has your Dom complied?
Signus

It would simply be denied,
No slave/sub asks for a punishment , since that's topping from the bottom.

Its up to the Dominant, if She/He finds it's time for a  punishment, and never the other way around.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`




_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 6:46:09 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova
Can a slave ask or suggest a punishment / idea to his or her Dom? If so what have you asked for?  Has your Dom complied?
Signus

It would simply be denied,
No slave/sub asks for a punishment , since that's topping from the bottom.

Its up to the Dominant, if She/He finds it's time for a  punishment, and never the other way around.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`





Would you punish her/him for asking..or ignore the issue. Punishing her/him for it, would still fullfill the request.

 

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 7:12:47 AM   
ourgirl


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline 		if we are speaking of physical punishment, yes, sometimes i do ask for it. but at the time, it is not "punishment", it is actually a token of Him love for me.  the reason is purely selfish.  it is usually following a mistake on my part for which He has already punished in a nonphysical manner.  the pain of that is so much greater than anything physical.  it is usaully a begging on my part, for a physical pain to make myself feel cleansed, i guess.  No, nothing like fun, pleasureable pain.  like DesFIP said " to cry it out and move on".  whether He indulges me or not is, of course, totally up to Him at that time.  when He does indulge me, He is releasing me from my emotional suffering and allowing me to wipe the slate clean and begin again.  i hope that made sense.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 10:04:44 AM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova
Can a slave ask or suggest a punishment / idea to his or her Dom? If so what have you asked for?  Has your Dom complied?
Signus

It would simply be denied,
No slave/sub asks for a punishment , since that's topping from the bottom.

Its up to the Dominant, if She/He finds it's time for a  punishment, and never the other way around.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`





I disagree.  I don't think it is topping from the bottom to voice a request.  Demanding it would be another story. 

_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/17/2008 10:43:38 AM   
Domin8more


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		I feel that maybe asking the sub/slave to decide their punishment can be part of the punishment if they have a hard time making decisions. I have used it before on My submissive and when she was unable to come up with anything in the set time limit, her punishment was a little worse for the failure. I have also instructed her thatwhile she has a right to ask why she is being punished and voice if she thinks it is too harsh, the end decision is still Mine. And My submissive never has to ask, I can always tell by her actions and the look in her eye if she is wanting punished. Sometime I make her ask anyways since she has a hard time voicing it and that can be fun.

(in reply to trappedinamuseum)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/18/2008 2:04:07 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		for punishment M'Lady applies that as she sees needed for when i have a lapse in protocol, for play i can offer my input but M'Lady can usually tell what i like and want
proudly collared by LadyPact

(in reply to BabyKittyKat)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/18/2008 4:31:50 PM   
tulitukka


Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've asked to be "hurt". Meaning that I would like the sensation of pain. And trust me, it's not something I ask for often.
But I do not ask for punishment. There is a difference between experiencing the sensation of pain and being reprimanded for something done wrong.
I've never understood why anyone would ask to be punished.


My girl sometimes asks for punishment, and sometimes I can see she wants to ask for punishment but cannot bring herself to do it. For her, the punishment is a cleansing act. It purifies her and lets her let off her guilt. The thing that probably hurts her most in her punishments is those times when she can see how much I suffer from doling the punishment. It's like fire that burns away the bad and lets her look forward; to concentrate on doing better next time instead of looking back and feeling like a failure.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/18/2008 5:04:27 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova

Can a slave ask or suggest a punishment / idea to his or her Dom? If so what have you asked for?  Has your Dom complied?
Signus



I suppose He would be open to my thoughts on the topic of punishment, but that isn't something I seek to converse about.  In one year I've been punished once and it really didn't matter what the punishment was (although effective), I was devastated with the fact that I had disappointed Him, the "punishment" wasn't nearly as bad as letting Him down.

I understand that some individuals want spankings, whippings... ect... as they feel they "need it" maybe an attitude adjustment??? I'm not into a lot of pain so if I need an attitude adjustment a stern talking to from my Sir usually does the trick.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/18/2008 6:14:27 PM   
lilacs


Posts: 46
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: signusnova

Can a slave ask or suggest a punishment / idea to his or her Dom? If so what have you asked for?  Has your Dom complied?
Signus



I can see a time when I would request a punishment - such as if I was having trouble letting go of guilt or letting go of a previous transgression that had (to his mind) already been put behind us.  Sometimes I am much harder on myself than anyone else. 

For us, punishment is something that doesn't happen often.  He is usually able to give me a look or a word or two that brings me back into whatever submissive mindset that might slip a little without me realizing it or what-have-you before it gets to the point where he has felt the need to "punish."  Those times that he has, it has been immediate, appropriate, and it closed the door on whatever transgression happened.

(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/18/2008 8:06:34 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think I have directly asked for it before, although I have felt I deserved it.  He determines if and when and how I am punished.  However, there have been times when I have made an error and I knew exactly how he would want to handle it so I just punished myself by putting myself through what I knew he would want to do.  He was pleased by this, but I should also say I have belonged to him long enough to know what he would have wanted in those particular cases, and I was also ready to accept an additional form of punishment if he so chose.  I don't make a habit of doing that, nor would I recommend taking it upon yourself to decide what your Master would do. 

Punishment is a rarity in my slavery to him now, but correctional discipline does happen from time to time.  And it's not always something physically painful.  So often people jump to that conclusion, but that is an incorrect assumption.

Ha, I should throw in that a week or so ago, he smacked me across the face for taking something on without asking him. My mouth hung open, as I felt intimidated by this.  He looked at me and thought I was yawning and smacked me again.  I laughed to him later, over the notion that I would yawn through a punishment!  It's been a fun little joke between us ever since. :)

(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/19/2008 12:55:54 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've never understood why anyone would ask to be punished.  


I'd ask for punishment... There is something cathartic about finding a place to put my sorrow or disappointment and then doing the thing (whatever it is) and then being free of the guilt or self-dislike.  It is penance for the behavior. 

I have asked that my punishment match my crime.  For example, if I was told not to wear panties, but I wore them, I would expect to be made to cut up the pair i wore or my favorite pair or something like that.  Or if I refused to clean the kitchen, I'd have to stay home from the movies that others were going to, and I'd have to clean it with a toothbrush in my mouth.

I would tell my Dom that penance, punishment, are necesary for me to let go of the self-recrimination that goes on in my head.  However, I don't misbehave on purpose usually.  But when I do, it's because I'm in a bad mood or not focusing properly.  And then I deserve it.  If I don't get punishment, and it doesn't fit the crime, I struggle a lot with the D/s relationship and with my own perfectionism.   But that's just me.  I deeply want to serve, and if I fail, my own upset with myself can get in the way of the next service.

Also, cause I like spanking, it's a bad thing to use as a punishment...Good girls get spankings, bad girls get ignored.

peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/19/2008 1:13:40 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
 Would you punish her/him for asking..or ignore the issue. Punishing her/him for it, would still fullfill the request.

I would ignore them, or give them an asignment which they've to think about.
Who Dominates who here...?

Giving a punishment isn't fun for Me,
so why ask for it?? I don't get it.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/21/2008 11:21:43 AM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I've asked to be "hurt".  Meaning that I would like the sensation of pain.  And trust me, it's not something I ask for often.
But I do not ask for punishment.  There is a difference between experiencing the sensation of pain and being reprimanded for something done wrong. 
I've never understood why anyone would ask to be punished.  


This is my perspective as well.  I often like to be beaten, flogged, whipped, caned, etc.  I have asked many time to be hurt; sometimes I have be accomodated, other times, because I've asked, I've been denied.  I do enjoy pain, especially CBT.  I also like to be 'manhandled', overpowered.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/21/2008 11:25:09 AM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:


It would simply be denied,
No slave/sub asks for a punishment , since that's topping from the bottom.

Its up to the Dominant, if She/He finds it's time for a  punishment, and never the other way around.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`





Not my attitude at all!  I have needs and if I couldn't even express them, that's not the relationship for me.  Note that it is a request, not a demand!!!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When a slave asks for punishment - 1/21/2008 11:26:55 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		In the eventuality that someone should ask for a punishment, the best punishment would be the denial of punishment.

Then again, I'm warped.

_____________________________



(in reply to signusnova)
Profile   Post #: 40
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