RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave

RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (Full Version)

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LadyAngelika -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/28/2005 7:47:47 PM)
quote: So, say you accept training from say.....one of my Idols, LROD. Damn! I thought I was yer idol! - LA

fastlane -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/28/2005 7:58:34 PM)
LROD....hmmmm, now I'm beginning to wonder too?....LOL Ma'am, I still say that practice makes perfect in all aspects of life, love, sports, business and relationships.

MstrHellsFury -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/28/2005 8:03:15 PM)
I've waited long enough before jumping into these shark infested waters...if I'm cut and let blood in the water I'm dead... now what does that have to do with this thread...nothing...just an attention getter... if this old and feeble mind can grasp the concept of what is asked...I believe you want to know if it is important to have someone come to you wanting to do and be more that just an object of sexual gratification...someone wanting to cook..clean..work inside or outside the home...watch the little one if you have any...shine your boots...clean out the cobwebs...wipe your butt if that's needed... why some..even though in the context of the word service..knows what it means...have to twist it into an overblown debate...amuses me... without playing the word games...having someone wanting to gain as much knowledge in one or more areas to be able to give that knowledge to me in what they do to increase my worth and have a greater pride in how they go about SERVING me...is a plus... we all know everyone and every relationship is different..and we know everyone has their own ways...but just tweaking the knowledge and abilities to suit my needs is the greater advantage over someone with blank for skills....and I know there will be those that will say...I'd rather teach them myself...my way...I don't disagree with that..it's you...I'm speaking to the advantage it would be for me... Fury

Archer -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/28/2005 10:14:11 PM)
Well just so you don't feel all alone in this I to am much more interested in a slave comming to me with or furthering their skills while in my service. I'm not likely to send them to some other dominant to get them though. I would send them to A cooking school, a butlers school or some school of modern domestic arts. I might send them to a class on some skill set I find usefull to me. Odds are the academic standards of a school would be much better than some Dominant I only know of by some few references. Adapting what skills they pick up to suit my personal needs would still be needed, and that would be done here at home. At this time an accountant would be a real godsend, LOL for the business. There are numerous things a service based submissive could learn that would delight me and that would prove usefull to me. It really tends to be a matter of what services you find valuable most of the people responding seem to be focused away from what I call indirect services. And that is a trend I see all over the place. I like the idea of a slave prospect who has taken it upon themselves to learn about things they feel can be of further service than sexual or bringing me a drink lighting my cigar etc. But as has been amply shown here we are in the minority. In Leather Archer

wetsub000 -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 3:02:10 AM)
I'm not sure if I fit in the category of service oriented sub, though I certainly like to serve a Dom. I'm not convinced that prior training is a good idea or required prior to finding myself in a D/s relationship. I have some skills that may fit into service categories, like secretarial skills and belly dancing, but I've yet to use those skills for any Dom I've been with. Admittedly I learnt them prior to finding my 'submissive' side. I also learnt to make beds with hospital corners in the military, but none of my Doms have required that either. I think each relationship is unique and there's time enough to learn service skills once I'm in a relationship and then I can learn the skills that he most values, rather than those I imagine might be useful or which I fancy myself. To me it's about pleasing the Dom and if I'm not in a relationship with one how do I know what will please?

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 4:10:33 AM)
quote: I like the idea of a slave prospect who has taken it upon themselves to learn about things they feel can be of further service than sexual or bringing me a drink lighting my cigar etc. But as has been amply shown here we are in the minority. Possibly we are in the minority. I look at it this way. Whether or not I have a sub at a given time, I am always doing something that furthers myself in the lifestyle, whether it's making time to get to a local lecture that seems interesting, reading or writing thoughts, or something as simple as spending time target shooting with my single tails to improve my skills. Yes. I think someone serious about serving should take the same approach...learn massage basics. Know how to clean a bathroom and a car properly. It's not so much about "mythicial BDSM protocol" per se. There is a proper way to give a massage. There is a proper way to serve at table - there are books and even classes aimed at training vanilla formal dining waitstaff. Such things may not matter to all dominants, but it certainly matters to some, and it's certainly something a submissive can work on regardless of ownership status.

mnottertail -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 4:48:12 AM)
I think it describes my opinions that I so freely hand out and my overall attitiude. Ron

femdom4u2besub -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 7:05:29 AM)
I wanted to thank everyone for the discussion over the weekend on this with me. And it would seem from the posts that maybe we arent really in the minority...it seems at minimum 50/50 which is very encouraging. I would love to hear how you all think we could encourage more submissives/slaves/family members (for our poly friends) to perhaps take the initative to improve their skills be it in an academic setting for accounting skills or an adult ed class on massage or to a Domme to learn to be an effective "sissy" maid...I am not so sure the what is as important as the mindset that goes into the preparation for service and to realize that there is more to life then sexual gratification and submission...unfortunately. If they did it just seems it would set them apart from the...u r hot I want to be your slave crowd. Oh btw there isnt one of you on this forum that needs to use a statements to get attention... even though I think you enjoy the creative license to see what you all can come up with... it is your usually well thought out and articulate answers that in the end get and hold attention (even when they are in opposition to my own).

OsideGirl -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 8:21:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lonewolf05 Along the lines of what you're talking about. Here in Southern California there is a group called "Formals Dinners". This is group where the submissives serve the Dominants with etiquette and protocol. It's a very interesting concept. OsideGirl ======== that is all well n fine and good. BUT!!!!!!!!!! i hope like hell this ain't another one where it looks like one thing in southern cal and another in northern cal? i had 'a' experience in southern cal wherein this lil smart mouthed girl sub claimed to be a know it all about High Tea Service and caused some feathers flying in a local club because if you aren't northen cal you are trash.........whew lawdy....she stirred it up good...... wolf p/s i wonder if these protocols are any different than what "I" learned in southern cal? Most of the protocols and etiquette used at these dinners are the same that come from social etiquette books with a BDSM D/s twist. This group isn't about elitism, it's about a group of BDSM'ers that enjoy high protocol relationships and good dinners.

femdom4u2besub -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 8:49:49 AM)
Bobbie is this group you refer to open or is it dependent on group affiliation?

OsideGirl -> RE: the training value of a service oriented sub/slave (8/29/2005 8:52:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CitizenCane quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl It goes beyond just service for us. My "deal breaker" question to submissive and slaves that we're talking to as a beta is "What are your goals?" Keep in mind that I don't care if the answer is "I want to learn to crochet" or "I want to travel more" or "I want to lose my gag reflex so I can deep throat". And I have to say that I'm apalled at the answers. The most frequent asnwers are "I just want to serve" and "I just want to be the best submissive/slave that I can". We asked what that means to them the answer is often "I'd be obedient". Well, news flash, I can get my dog to obey, I want more than that. To me this is a cop out. It's like saying "world peace". It sounds great but if you have no cohesive plan on how to get there, then you're just blowing smoke up my butt. The best answer I ever got from a sub came from a male sub. He told me that he was taking cooking classes so that his Mistress would not have to cook when she came home from work. He also told me that he wanted to take massage therapy classes so that he could pamper her. Along the lines of what you're talking about. Here in Southern California there is a group called "Formals Dinners". This is group where the submissives serve the Dominants with etiquette and protocol. It's a very interesting concept. Interesting. I certainly like women with skills, interests, desires, etc, but if someone comes to me and wants to serve- I think I can come up with the plan to make it work. In fact, I tend to think of that as my job. Cane I can understand that view. But, I have serious questions about someone that has no goals other than what I give them. Again, I'm not looking for life altering goals, just an idea that the person has a desire to get something done. Even if it's someting as simple as learning to make an omelet. I want to know that they have the ability to make a decision and form a path in which to get things done. Our lifestyle is a combination of service D/s and BDSM. In my mind, the role of a submissive or slave in our relationship is to make our lives more enjoyable and easier. This means proactive rather than reactive. We don't want someone that we have to tell to do every little thing. We want someone that we can tell them once what we want, and they figure out how to get it done. It's the difference between someone sitting there waiting for us to tell them what to do versus someone who can intuit what we desire and getting it done. Again, these are our desires in our relationship. It's not neccesarily what everyone wants.

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