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What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 5:54:13 AM

snapdragon9

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

Post #: 1

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:03:19 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

Im not a submissive but I'd say they look for the same thing they look for in real life, that is, compatability, a connection.

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 2

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:13:01 AM

loveNdevotion

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

Like HalloweenWhite, the same things I'd look for in real life. Intelligence, compassion, creatvity, confidence, class, and compatability (to name a few) *s*. Basically looking for someone that I'd connect with even without the D/s being there. A man I can respect, trust, admire. How does he convey hese things to me online? Polite conversation, showing an interest in me as person, taking the time to answer my questions- and asking some of his own.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Post #: 3

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:35:26 AM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

I'm impressed by those men who know how to be gentlemen in this wild online world. Manners, intelligence, respect, consistency in actions/words. Also worth noting - I found my Master after reading his online journal. His words spoke to me on a day I really needed them, and I wrote him a note thanking him for that. His response was as eloquent as his journal, and our relationship grew from there.

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 4

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:50:05 AM

verysweet

Posts: 128
Status: offline

The inspiration to initially contact someone is based on a number of things: it could be as simple as an interesting nick that piques my curiosity; a thoughtfully articulated profile; a well-written thread on a message board; compatibility based on location or kink.

I think there is something to be said for the old adage: Finding something interesting about me provokes my interest in you. That's the type of emails I generally respond to.

_____________________________

Poetry in devotion.

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 5

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:53:52 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

What everyone else said plus someone who could actually see me on a regular basis IRL-- someone who wanted a tangible relationship not just an on-line fantasy.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 6

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 7:08:29 AM

Rianne

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline

Manners and a way with words. You can tell when someone has that innate confidence or not by the way they present themselves. I find journals a good way to see inside a person. Someone who knows themselves and how to communicate that is a very big positive.

Negatives: I don't want to see your white belly fat. Really. I'm telling the truth here. I don't care to see that not shaving for months is one of your finer points. I don't care for the whole "I scream rebel" thing.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 7

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:07:12 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

I primarily look for shoes online. Why, just the other day I was all set to purchase a pair of platform boots (thanks Stephan!), but they were backordered. I thought, "where will I go, what'll I do?"

~Sigh~

Sometimes it's a long, lonely search, but as God as my witness, I'll never be platform bootless again!

Scarlett "Do These go with my Curtains" O'hara

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 8

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:19:26 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

chocolate, champagne and shoes...

barring that; you have to keep in mind that most submissives (even the ones who do not have pics up) receive an unbelievable amount of email on sites like this.
What you want to do, is to stand out...in a GOOD way. ; )
No one word letters, no 'form letter', make it obvious that you have read her profile, and are interested in her, as a person. Tell her why you think that you are someone she should get to know.
Start off as friends.
Don't be one of the many who writes to her asking what her breast size is, or if she'd like to be gang-raped. (it will get her attention, but in a BAD way.)
Have an interesting profile.
Be polite, charming and funny. Get to know her as a friend, and let her open up to you in her own time.
(worked for me anyway)
(oh, and I did get the champagne and chocolate at the first meet!

)

~Christina

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 9

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:33:17 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

As a sub, when I was looking for a domme, a well written profile and attractive pics was what initially attracted me. If the person is attractive (I do have a preference for plus sized dommes), has a well written profile, and has lots of similar interests, I take a shot at writing to them. It's no different than what I look for in real life. Being intelligent, attractive, similar interests, and a great personality are enough to get things rolling, but that's just a start.

I hit a grand slam when I found Mistress. She is everything I could have ever hoped to find in a domme and girlfriend. I couldn't ask for anything better.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 10

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:44:55 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Humor, intelligence, compatibility... pretty much all the things that others have mentioned here. If someone emails me and can talk about nothing but sex, that is a huge turn off. i want to learn about the whole person, not simply a list of what turns them on. Sex is easy, it is the mental and spiritual connection that takes time to develop. While a well written profile attracts me, i also like reading the message boards (if they actively post) to try and get an understanding of the way they think.

What impresses me most, is someone who as obviously taken the time to read my (admittedly long winded) profile and comments on things i have said, rather than on pictures that i have posted. Sending an email that shows their personality is another thing i look for, i despise those dreaded form letters. Some days i simply delete, other days i'll send a bitch-o-gram back, depending on whether or not i need to relieve some stress.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 11

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:47:44 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

Even though I don't do the online route; and even though I am not looking for anyone....If I was....I would look for nothing more than a man who was not afraid to be a man. Pretty simple, don't you think?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 12

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:49:20 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Someone who already knows the answer to the question you just asked.
Not the person who had to ask it.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 13

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:58:54 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Someone who already knows the answer to the question you just asked.
Not the person who had to ask it.

Burn!!!

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 14

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 11:01:07 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Someone who already knows the answer to the question you just asked.
Not the person who had to ask it.

the.dark.

OUCH

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 15

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 11:45:12 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Someone who already knows the answer to the question you just asked.
Not the person who had to ask it.

the.dark.

HAAAAA

LOL you kill me ....

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 16

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 2:46:10 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

i am more likely to respond to people who actually talk to me about something other than submission/willingness to submit. that might sound weird on this site, but i get tired of being treated like that's all that i'm good for. i actually started talking to my current dom because he flat out expected me not to respond. i like weird/unconventional emails.

(in reply to snapdragon9)

Post #: 17

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 4:52:33 PM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

other days i'll send a bitch-o-gram back, depending on whether or not i need to relieve some stress.

lol that made my night!

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 18

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 5:19:45 PM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

sometimes wit will get a response but a poite respectful manner is good, and Sir got my attention because the very first message he sent made it obvious he had read my profile and my blog and asked me some intelligent interesting questions and by about the third message I was feeling a connection.

(in reply to Rushemery)

Post #: 19

RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 6:58:50 PM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

other days i'll send a bitch-o-gram back, depending on whether or not i need to relieve some stress.

lol that made my night!

lol glad i could be of help!

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Rushemery)

Post #: 20

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