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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 7:19:21 PM

snapdragon9

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline

Thanks everyone for your responses, they are all great. Still, what I was asking for (though not clearly) was the specific things.

For example, I met a friend on this site, a male submissive, he messaged me saying that he respected my heterosexuality but wanted to talk. He started taking to me about film, specifically Truffaut's The 400 Blows. This film is easily one of my favorites. He also stated that he admired my idealism, and I am definitely a strong idealist. I have been continuing conversation with this person ever since. We talk about the strange harmonies and energies in BDSM interactions.

Stuff like that. Thanks again for you responces, hope this new post helps narrow it down.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 8:30:08 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Well, uhm...no one can tell you specifically what to say.
Well...I guess they can but, that would just be creepy.
Talk about things that interest you, (my preference when getting to know someone is strictly 'nilla)
Ask them about things in their profile, or about the area they live.
Is that what you meant?
Oh! And Nevah Evah forget the chocolates and the champagne!!!!

~Christina

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 8:39:29 PM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
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Actually Christina the first time my Dom arrived on my doorstep he did come bearing chocolate, I dont drink champange so that didnt bother me. But it was dark choc too he had listened and made note of what I liked.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/16/2008 10:06:37 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I've only actually met two Doms (and been collared once) but, both times I got presents!!
(gotta love the sweet d-words!)

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/17/2008 10:10:22 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

Probably how much of the person is protrayed in the message a Dom sends me. Meaning a fairly accurate account portrayal of the Dom as a person that is stated in the message. One who doesn't use the standard line of demands but has offered a glimpse of thenself as opposed to a relating what their role is. This is the same guideline I use when networking in R/L, I don't hold high expectations of finding a Dom online, if it happens greatyet if it doesn't then it isn't the end of the world.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/18/2008 1:49:03 PM

EponasChylde

Posts: 65
Joined: 12/31/2007
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-Etiquette. Politeness, no nudie pics sent to me, no sexually explicit messages,etc. Approach me just as you would a pretty girl you met at the grocery store, by introducing yourself and being gentlemanly.

-Attention to my profile. If I say I'm seeking something specific in my profile,and you do not meet that criteria, then do not either waste my time by sending me your message nor insult my intelligence by assuming that I didn't MEAN what I said in the profile. If I said no married guys, that's exactly what the fuck I meant. No your situation is not an acceptable exception. Deal with it.

-A large vocabulary, proper spelling, and a sense of intelligence and education in your words. I'm not stupid and I don't like dating stupid people.

-Do not be demanding, assuming, or ask me perverted questions. This just makes you look like a wannabe who has never touched a real girl before.

-A well written profile that indicates compatibility. Compatibility is everything...It really doesn't MATTER how nice you are, because if you are't compatible on the key issues then I won't be interested. You could be the greatest, sweetest dom on earth...but if you have kids, or you want kids, or you don't like animals, I am going to tell you to get bent.

-A profile that clearly indicates his location, which should hopefully be very near mine as I have stated that I seek a local individual.

< Message edited by EponasChylde -- 1/18/2008 1:50:43 PM >

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/21/2008 11:31:36 AM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EponasChylde

-Etiquette. Politeness, no nudie pics sent to me, no sexually explicit messages,etc. Approach me just as you would a pretty girl you met at the grocery store, by introducing yourself and being gentlemanly.

-Attention to my profile. If I say I'm seeking something specific in my profile,and you do not meet that criteria, then do not either waste my time by sending me your message nor insult my intelligence by assuming that I didn't MEAN what I said in the profile. If I said no married guys, that's exactly what the fuck I meant. No your situation is not an acceptable exception. Deal with it.

-A large vocabulary, proper spelling, and a sense of intelligence and education in your words. I'm not stupid and I don't like dating stupid people.

-Do not be demanding, assuming, or ask me perverted questions. This just makes you look like a wannabe who has never touched a real girl before.

-A well written profile that indicates compatibility. Compatibility is everything...It really doesn't MATTER how nice you are, because if you are't compatible on the key issues then I won't be interested. You could be the greatest, sweetest dom on earth...but if you have kids, or you want kids, or you don't like animals, I am going to tell you to get bent.

-A profile that clearly indicates his location, which should hopefully be very near mine as I have stated that I seek a local individual.

lol! As a male slave, I have much lower expectations. I would like someone who is interested in me, not selfish or a money Domme. I would like some areas of compatibility, obviously. As others have said, what I'd look for in any person who I was interested to get to know.

That said, it is a low probability finding someone here. I do go to local munches and I have found play partners there, which is OK for now.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/21/2008 11:57:53 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: snapdragon9

I've never asked this to any sub outside of my own, so here I am.

I am a Dom and I am just curious as to what exactly do subs look for in a Dom when they are online? I'm talking about profile, pictures, but especially in the messages that you recieve from Doms.

To be clear, I am not looking for a "how to get a sub through messages" answer, just curious as to what you have encountered that has impressed you, or what would impress you should you ever encounter it.

What i looked for was a respresentation of what i would meet in real life. The picture being one that would help me to recognize him in the restaurant. The written word to sound like the spoken word. If the *He stares deeply into her eyes* stuff isn't the way you normally talk, don't try to "sound" domly with some silly cyber-speak.

my Master first emailed me over 6 months ago so His initial email was lost but basically what He wrote told me some basic important facts about Himself, what it was about me that interested Him and what points of compatibility He felt we had. i then compared what He had written against my "Ideal Master" list and knew, just knew He had found me.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/22/2008 12:47:02 PM

DoctorYale

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Joined: 8/7/2007
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I have been fascinated to read these replies and sufficiently fascinated by sweetwenchie to send her a private message in appreciation for the woman that she portrays herself to be. As one who takes the D/s relationship quite seriously, and perhaps as a reflection of my own interests, background and education, I am drawn first and foremost to the woman. Before she can be an exciting and interesting submissive woman, she must first be an exciting, interesting and intellectually stimulating woman. If that places me in the minority of men who are Doms, then so be it.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/24/2008 2:45:13 PM

shysub0951

Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
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Courtesy, honesty, being able to write more than a one line message, enough of a profile that i can get at least a basic understanding of the person. Pictures really dont't matter a lot to me since i don't and can not post one online anyways, and ability to fully answer a question instead of a very very short answer.

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RE: What do subs look for online? - 1/24/2008 3:34:23 PM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
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"
-- someone who wanted a tangible relationship not just an on-line fantasy."

Im always looking for that damned Unicorn....such an impossible fantasy creature to find...LOL

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