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Habit - 1/17/2008 3:25:09 PM

cherrypez

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline

     I was told that it was proper and respectful when writing to use upper case letters when addressing a person who is Dominant.   At the time, since there was seldom a time that I would have a need to do this (before internet) I never had a problem with it.   Once I hit the net it became habit to do this, however the habit became so ingrained that I found myself doing it all the time, in the work place or even doing it to other submissives addressing them with upper case letters.
I have pretty much broken myself of the habit except when I speak to my own Dom.     When I am capping simply out of habit, imo it detracts from the original reason for doing it in the first place.   Thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:29:41 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

Well i got so used to typing in Microsoft word which always capitalized the i for me that i have never really gotten in the habit of doing it on my own. People usually think i'm going it on purpose as a submissive trait but it's really just habit. I mean i do like to keep my name in lower case letters but i'd really like to make an effort to use proper grammer when writing more often. hmmm....maybe next post.

Not exactly what you were talking about but thought i'd post anyway.

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 2

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:30:55 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

I'm an editor, so the whole caps thing makes me chuckle (except when there are slashes involved, at which point it makes me cringe). Most liturgical texts I've seen don't even cap pronouns for God, so uppercasing a mere mortal seems a bit much imho.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 3

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:34:28 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

If the protocol has become so ingrained that you use it outside of it's proper context, you need to take a step back and just use proper english for a moment.

Personally, I am of the school of thought which holds that the mindless repetition of rote tradition is pointless. There was a time when caps were a useful and even nessesary tool, because bandwidth was limited and a lot of people were paying by the word for their internet access. That all went away over a decade ago. Many of the conventions come up with during that period were held onto and passed down as "tradition". Now, there are people who get bent out of shape if you don't do it, because it's not "respectful". Frankly, I think that anyone who percieves the proper use of the english language as a form of disrespect, has just lost any respect I may have had for them.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 4

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:35:07 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Reminds me of the time I hung up from a phone conversation with a friend by saying, "love you", which had become a habit from my marriage. Kinda didn't mean so much anymore. And I called her back and said, "did I just tell you I love you??" and we both had a big laugh about it.

I almost did the "love you" thing last night, when I was very tired, after I was done typing out an offline message to someone. I'm sure he would have understood when I would have explained, but still...

So yeah, it detracts from the real meaning behind it.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 5

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:40:15 PM

takenbyjohnr07

Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

i have done the samr thing, although most of the time i catch it. However, if i don't respect the person as i Dominant i do not capitolize the first letter of the word.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 6

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:46:50 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Frankly, I'd rather pay proper respect to the English language by using capital letter according to the rules grammer. Makes more sense to me that proper respect is paid to a dom when speaking to then, the nuances and the vocal tone conveys much more then a typed capital letter in my opinion.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 7

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:48:54 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

It's not something I tend to focus on or notice these days - not until someone else mentions it. I have gone through the whole love it/loathe it and now it doesn't really register. It's a protocol for some, for others it's a waste of space. If it becomes habit, I agree with you cherrypez, it has detracted from the original reason. I find slash speak more difficult to read through, but I'll still read on through it as much as I can.

Meh, but what do I know. I am the annoying person who .dislikeswastingspacewithspaces.

the.dark.
(.wondersifLAisreadingthis.)

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 1/17/2008 3:49:22 PM >

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 8

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:53:50 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Okay, I have always freely admitted to being an elitist pig in this regard. While I can forgive simple errors, typos, mispelled words, et cetra, I prefer to talk with people who take the time to form whole, coherent sentences and at least make an effort to put everything in its proper order. I find that, more often than not, if a person is unable to form a real sentence on a computer screen, they will also frequently fail to form whole sentences in a spoken conversation, and now that I am no longer an inarticulate teenager communicating through a vast semaphore language of eloquient shrugs and eyerolls, nor am I spending time with such persons, the inability to form whole sentences in spoken conversation drives me up a wall.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 9

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 3:57:13 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I find it easier to obey standard English rules of writing. I capitalise a person, place, an I, but not a you. A dominant male would be capitalised because I would be calling him Jim/Bob/Joe, ect. The term dominant would not be capitalised unless I was trying to use an affectation of "respect". Except in an online forum where using the term Dominant, referring to a person rather than the trait of being dominant, I see no need to capitalise it simply because they are somehow more deserving than my buddies Sarah or Jill, who happen to be submissive.
I can understand using it in a forum because you are differentiating roles. Maybe. But as a rule, I find that people, dom, sub, or nilla, deserve no less than what I was taught in school.
<g> for me, gurls will always be girls, and men are not any more special until they are special to me.
Kyst

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 1/17/2008 3:59:12 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 10

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 4:37:21 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I'm amused thinking how you decided people who had not told you their orientation would be decided by you which one they were? And how exactly did you type to switches?

You trained the habit into you, you can train it out of you.

It's not impolite to treat dominants like everyone else- it's just some people's idea of good protocol for them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 11

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 4:44:36 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypez

    I was told that it was proper and respectful when writing to use upper case letters when addressing a person who is Dominant.   At the time, since there was seldom a time that I would have a need to do this (before internet) I never had a problem with it.   Once I hit the net it became habit to do this, however the habit became so ingrained that I found myself doing it all the time, in the work place or even doing it to other submissives addressing them with upper case letters.
I have pretty much broken myself of the habit except when I speak to my own Dom.     When I am capping simply out of habit, imo it detracts from the original reason for doing it in the first place.   Thoughts?

Some of the subs with whom I correspond do that (including putting their own names in lower case). Some don't. Seems to be a personal preference. Matters not to me.

What makes me cringe is the upper/lower case for pronouns, e.g., w/We (I may have that backwards.)

Les (PuRvEyOr Of FiNe, HaNdCrAfTeD kInK)

See how *&^%$#@ annoying it is???

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 12

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 4:53:36 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

What do you do if you don't know the person is dominant or submissive? Like if you are just responding to a post in a forum, or in a chat room and they are simply a person? To use it as a form of respect, or the opposite to use lower case as a form of disrespect makes no sense to me unless one is addressing ones own dominant. I do understand some preferring the lower case 'i' as a way to remind themselves of their place, but that is more a personal direction to use it in.When I started out playing with IRC rooms I got into the habit of using the lower case/upper case only because it was expected behaviour for a submissive. It didn't take long for it to irritate me enough to return to normal typing. IMO using proper (or at least following basic rules) grammar and good communication is the real respect being shown. I think the slashy speak in particular is a form of rudeness, forcing people to decode the words to satisfy some unwritten rule.Oddly chatspeak or the abbreviation of words doesn't bother me but I see it time and time again here bothering the majority. When I joined CM forums I was astonished at the emphasis placed on using 'normal' text. It took to a bit of work for me to not use shorthand chatspeak but I think it was well worth the effort.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)

Post #: 13

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 4:59:18 PM

cherrypez

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm amused thinking how you decided people who had not told you their orientation would be decided by you which one they were? And how exactly did you type to switches?

I like this question. When I first started in an era before internet, I was totally unaware that a switch even exsisted. It was pretty black and white, Dom or sub. My first partner was a switch and it took a year for him to even explain that part to me, but since I never wrote him or found the need to use caps, I never had to use caps. Once I hit the net, I used "Y/you" type that covered everyone including those to whom I didn't know the orientation and the switches when on forums and when addressing someone directly because it was most often a D type not a switch I most often used caps, and that was where I had the most problems, Im's and emails. Because these are the most used forms of communication on my job, I found myself sincerely having to break myself of the habit.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 5:01:40 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Being an old English major, the random capitalization and slashy speak makes me cringe. Additionally, since I don't believe I'm inferior to anyone who self proclaims as dominant, I don't give them any more respect or courtesy than I do anyone else. Plus, since his rules forbid me kowtowing to others, I wouldn't do it anyway.

Actually, his rules also forbid me from referring to myself in lower case. And that third person stuff makes me want to run from the room screaming.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 15

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 5:13:46 PM

angelslave77

Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

I am a lazy /bad typist I often forget to capitialise words,other times I do it too often, I have been told off in chat by a sub because I used a capitial at the start of her name I thought to myself, geez over yourself. Does not really worry me as a whole though but I do hate the w/We thing ect (and Les you had that right subbies are definately the most important party in the relationship and should always cum errrr come first

)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 5:17:10 PM

TMaster2

Posts: 194
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline

I don't care for the Cap/noncap "conventions" at all. I don't get torn up about seeing it, because I know it is used so much, but I don't really make a thing of it myself. And like some have mentioned, I really hate trying to read a paragraph filled with W/we and O/our and N/nonsensical S/stuff.

_____________________________

Doms/Masters Who are also Gods, CLICK HERE!

(in reply to cherrypez)

Post #: 17

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 6:20:06 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I aM pReTtY sUrE tHaT tHiS mAy WoRk WhEn ThErE iS dOuBt.
It MuSt Be HoW tHiS tYpInG gOt StArTeD.
KYST

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm amused thinking how you decided people who had not told you their orientation would be decided by you which one they were? And how exactly did you type to switches?

You trained the habit into you, you can train it out of you.

It's not impolite to treat dominants like everyone else- it's just some people's idea of good protocol for them.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 6:21:05 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I aM pReTtY sUrE tHaT tHiS mAy WoRk WhEn ThErE iS dOuBt.
It MuSt Be HoW tHiS tYpInG gOt StArTeD.

My eyes, my poor eyes!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 19

RE: Habit - 1/17/2008 6:23:01 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

heh.. then my work is done.. *evil look*

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 20

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