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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

You guys still use verbal communication?  I long ago learned telepathy so my connection would be far deeper/more significant/more spiritual than those who "just" do whatever it is you do.

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ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

i was just sititng here, reading & i started to wonder how many subs/slaves use that safe word at the 1st sign of pain, or if they use it for what it's intended for, what's that breaking point?
Subs/slaves:  How far do you have to go before you cry out the safe word?

Masters/Mistresses:  When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more?  That he/she's just being a wus?  You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more.  Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up?

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Let me tell you the history of "safe words."
Safe words were developed during the "outburst" of interest in BDSM during the late 70's-and throughout the 80's ( I call them the Madonna years) during the club scene when everyone started experimenting with everyone.  Like at "Hellfire" in NYC where you could just walk in and scene with someone you had never met.  In a public place.  And, there was an outburst of private play parties sponsored by various groups such as TES in NYC , and then munches... where many "unknown" people were showing up.
In days of old, you couldn't get into a party unless you came with a mentor who was already "certified", so to speak.
The original point of a safe-word:    It was created because many who were playing with "Dominance" and who were "untrained" or mentored to control themselves would go into top space and not know themselves well enough to control the burst of phermones, adrenalines, and such, that they would "cross the line", so to speak, of responsible sadism. 
Safe words were developed not so much for the benefit of the individual Dominant in the scene, but for those watching, so that if the Dominant was "out there" the onlookers could understand and stop what was going on.
For example:  I once saw a scene at a munch party where the FemDomme got out of control and beat the poor boy under a table even though he was coding and his coding helped others to realize to intervene.   The Domme in question really didn't mean to harm him, but was just so new to her "top space" that she lost control of herself in the heat of the night.
THAT is why safe words were created.  They do no good in a private setting.  Think about it.  If it is just you and them...who would stop it if that one person didn't listen?
I DON'T use safe words.  If there is a safety issue, speak out plain and clear.  Safety issues have no time for decoding from from "red" to "what is wrong."  Just spit it out.  "I'm dizzy. I have to take a crap.  I'm gonna puke, piss, pass out, "....etc.
On the other hand, many in "sub-space" use them too inappropriately.  Pain never hurt anyone...lol...if you know what I mean.  Just cry "mercy" and keep it real.  Too often the subject uses them too soon and then regrets not getting their limits pushed....or gets too far into sub-space to use them at all. 
It is the Dominant who must be trained to "read" their subjects, control themselves,  and know what's best.  Period.    How can one take a subject on that journey if the subject is constantly trying to monitor themselves and the Dominant so that they can "code".  *sigh*
At a public play party with unknown partners.....perhaps a good thing.  In private....faaagiittttabbboutt itttt!!!
Just my school of training.

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ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

i was just sititng here, reading & i started to wonder how many subs/slaves use that safe word at the 1st sign of pain, or if they use it for what it's intended for, what's that breaking point?
Subs/slaves:  How far do you have to go before you cry out the safe word?

Masters/Mistresses:  When your girl/boy cries out that one word that should make everything stop, do you ever stop, look at the girl/boy and decide he/she can take more?  That he/she's just being a wus?  You've done more in the past and you know he/she can take more.  Or does the flogger hit the floor/you step back w/your hands up?

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Let me rephrase it for you...
The history of safe words, as I know it.
I would be delighted to know more about the specific readings you are speaking of in your "pre-college" years.
In all sincerity, I would love to read them as well.  I am always open to learning more.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Some great comments here already, but I just wanted to point out that a safeword does not automatically mean 'stop'. It means what the parties in the relationship have determined it to mean. Himself and I do have a safeword in place and it does not mean stop. It has one specific purpose which is intended to convey, without question, a certain medical condition from which I suffer has reared it's head. That safeword was put in place because of my big mouth and the fact that I am liable to say 'anything' during a scene, literally.

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ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

i never used a safeword before, even when the session become harder/rougher than usual, but it seems that it's what you should do (from what i've read ) when you're w/a new Dom/Domme.  i understand if you've been w/your Dom/Domme long enough where you both know the other one well enough not to need one, but for your 1st few sessions, noone uses a safe word?  i'm more than a little surprised, but on the flip side, i think back to my 1st few sessions and i don't recall ever having one in place, but then i met a "real gentleman" Dom and that's the 1st thing he said, when we started talking.  Gave me the safe word he uses w/subs in training, as a safety net. Not that it would have mattered if he had turned out to be a homicidal maniac.  Safe word for Ted Bundy's sub....."cast".

i just thought i'd pose the question/ponder the responses.  ****tricia, i really like the "red ball" system.  i'd probably squeeze the sh*t out of it before dropping it lest i was labeled a pu$$y***

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Some great comments here already, but I just wanted to point out that a safeword does not automatically mean 'stop'. It means what the parties in the relationship have determined it to mean. Himself and I do have a safeword in place and it does not mean stop. It has one specific purpose which is intended to convey, without question, a certain medical condition from which I suffer has reared it's head. That safeword was put in place because of my big mouth and the fact that I am liable to say 'anything' during a scene, literally.

Excellent addition!

I should have spelled out that, for us, a safeword really doesn't mean "stop". It means "pause, something is wrong". We fix it and then go back to whatever we doing.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

None of these things are going to transport you magically to a fairy land of pixies and unicorns but they serve a purpose.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

None of these things are going to transport you magically to a fairy land of pixies and unicorns but they serve a purpose.

Damn, Aquatic, I could really use some pixies and unicorns these days. 

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

None of these things are going to transport you magically to a fairy land of pixies and unicorns but they serve a purpose.

Damn, Aquatic, I could really use some pixies and unicorns these days. 

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Tap your shoes three times and say "RED ruby slippers"