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PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 6:09:30 AM   
Slutsub


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/8/2004
From: my knees
Status: offline 		is it just me........or do others see it happening.

seems like we are being infiltrated by pretenders........which..is such a shame..i left the "other site" alt...........because it was happening there........isnt there someway to stop these men.......who are only after sex.......(and not seriously in the scene)
from coming in here and just being a nuisance...........please someone do something !!

_____________________________

slut sub........x
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 6:34:24 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		No matter where you go you will find these that you consider pretenders. Leaving a site will not change the fact. I too had left the site you mention more than once because I was not happy with the contacts I received. Thankfully I reopened the profile there after a period of time & met my current partner.

Probability that we will encounter the undesired will always outweigh the probability of finding a match. You just have be be patient enough to actually find your one. (hence the word one)

Never give up!

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 6:47:07 AM   
lovingmaster45


Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline 		It cuts both ways. There are time wasters everywhere. Barb and I never count on anyone showing up for a meeting unless we see their car in the driveway. If we set up a public meeting, we always pick a place we want to go to; whether we are meeting anyone or not. That way if they do a no-show, we will still have a good time.

The key is to develop a "feel" and to keep trying.

I guess it is about a 1 in 100 shot at finding someone who will actually meet. Of those we meet, probably one out of 10 warrant a second meeting.

Don't give up.

_____________________________

Master Jerry


(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 7:14:37 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slutsub

is it just me........or do others see it happening.

seems like we are being infiltrated by pretenders........which..is such a shame..i left the "other site" alt...........because it was happening there........isnt there someway to stop these men.......who are only after sex.......(and not seriously in the scene)
from coming in here and just being a nuisance...........please someone do something !!


This is the old "I'm real, (s)he isn't" cry. The real "nuisances" to my way of thinking of it are those who try to set themselves up a arbitors of "proper BDSM" and create three categories: fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do).

Given that breakdown there are damned few "real" people in the world.

Sure, there are people, both male and female, who come to personal sites looking for a bit of slap and tickle and a good fuck, but usually they are pretty easy to recognize. If you're not interested in that level of play, don't contact them and if they contact you, just how has your life been demeaned by glancing at an email before hitting "next?"

Rather than worrying about maintaining the purity of a exchange site, I recommend concentrating on having fun and looking for people whose interests match your own.

Now, I will accept there are those who lie about their interests, but that's not a problem of "men wanting just sex", it's a problem about lying. Lying exists at all levels including people pretending they are more experienced, less experienced, interested in everything any correspondent is into, living in foreign countries so they can claim they can't meet, being not married and a host of other lies.

Now liars can cost time and effort, and in some cases, money, but that sort of thing has been covered in other note streams.


_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 7:17:15 AM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hey at least they were just normal guys. Is it my imagination or is that other site getting overrun by woman looking to be paid for theeir services? And I do NOT mean ProDommes, altho I believe these womens occupation begins with pro...

Its like all of a sudden working girls decided kinky men were easy marks.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 8:05:36 AM   
muzz


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/5/2005
Status: offline 		no matter what site you go to and no matter what the subject of the site you will find pretenders...that is why you need to get to know the person before getting involved with them...many of the pretenders you can figure out just after a few online conversations...its just a matter of paying attention to what they say..

With that being said...you also have to remember that there are many many people like myself that are so new to this that nervousness is a big issue...getting shy and quiet...being unsure about certain things because of not having experince...

the hard part is telling the difference between the pretenders and the newbies.

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 8:08:52 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		yeah. from both sides. i know of 4 so called dommes on here that act like they walk on water.....
sure sign of a pretender to ME!

wolf


_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 8:50:17 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree that there are pretenders on every site. Also in real life.

You just have to sort thru all the pretenders and find the one that is right for you.

Good luck.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 8:53:44 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		*teasing*

Everyone knows only pretenders make posts about people being pretenders.

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 9:00:20 AM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		I will admit that more than a few of my gender have ruined many a good thing but like was said before, it's not very hard to tell the good from the bad. Though I was recently asked for references...that one kinda threw me, but hey we understand that a girl's got to be careful now-a-days.

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 9:01:34 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I would rather deal with pretenders than deal with a "BDSM Orthodoxy Committee". Who's to decide if one person's kink is better or more real than another's? Sure, in some cases it might be blatantly obvious...like bad art or bad music...but it's all subjective, isn't it? And even in my hypothetical 'blatant' cases, who is really fit to judge? I can make judgements for me, but going any further than that would be hard to support.

Bob

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 9:10:41 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Why does this even bother you if you're collared?

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 8/29/2005 9:11:51 AM >

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 11:24:28 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		lonewolf, you keep mentioning the number 4.........hmmm.

slutsub, the internet, offline, everywhere in the world has pretenders everywhere. You should be able to take your time to find out who they are as you are collared, so, they shouldn't be bothering you, smiles.

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 11:36:02 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		You want to stop men from looking for sex?

Good luck with that one. I'm curious to see how well that works out for you. ~huge grin~

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 11:39:15 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Cheers John. You said it well. I'm trying to think of something to add, due to the fact that I like to hear myself talk, and I can't come up with a thing.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 11:58:14 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

This is the old "I'm real, (s)he isn't" cry. The real "nuisances" to my way of thinking of it are those who try to set themselves up a arbitors of "proper BDSM" and create three categories: fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do).

Given that breakdown there are damned few "real" people in the world.

Sure, there are people, both male and female, who come to personal sites looking for a bit of slap and tickle and a good fuck, but usually they are pretty easy to recognize. If you're not interested in that level of play, don't contact them and if they contact you, just how has your life been demeaned by glancing at an email before hitting "next?"

Rather than worrying about maintaining the purity of a exchange site, I recommend concentrating on having fun and looking for people whose interests match your own.

Now, I will accept there are those who lie about their interests, but that's not a problem of "men wanting just sex", it's a problem about lying. Lying exists at all levels including people pretending they are more experienced, less experienced, interested in everything any correspondent is into, living in foreign countries so they can claim they can't meet, being not married and a host of other lies.

Now liars can cost time and effort, and in some cases, money, but that sort of thing has been covered in other note streams.



Now that is one really fine post about virtual relationships in general.

I especially like the part about "fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do)", everything depends on our expectations and common sense. (Although I havent find any of those "nuts" so far - does it mean I play too heavy? )

And btw, there are some women "wanting just sex" at least as the starting point, and I am stating that openly. I have no desires so far to develop any emotional relationships, I am only looking for sextoy.
And guess what? Havent find any yet. When it comes to "real" they just dont have any guts.

Just delete any messages that bother you, Slutsub, the only way to "stop those men" is to ignore them. Or anyone else incompatible with what you want.


_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 12:11:24 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		For some (many?) people it IS all about the sex. Let's exhibit a bit of that oft mentioned (but infrequently demonstrated) "tolerance" and not try to condemn others for their personal preferences and kinks.

Nothing makes our personal choices and preferences any better than anyone else's... other than they are (hopefully) representative of our own personal needs, desires, and pleasures. And while we are free to make those decisions and choices for ourselves, and to judge what best exemplifies what is "right" for ourselves on a personal level, it's terribly presumptive (now that's being diplomatic) to make those choices for the entirety of the lifestyle (the "one true way" died ages ago).

Sometimes it's difficult not to "project" what fulfills us on a personal level upon the entirety of the lifestyle. And I'm not suggesting that anyone has done so with malice.

John

(in reply to Slutsub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 12:30:11 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

I especially like the part about "fakes (those who play ligher than I do", real (those who play my way) and nuts (those who play heavier than I do)", everything depends on our expectations and common sense. (Although I havent find any of those "nuts" so far - does it mean I play too heavy? )


[laugh] I don't know about Tasmania but if you ever get to San Francisco I'll give you an intro to Fakir Mustifar... he scares me.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 12:30:59 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

You want to stop men from looking for sex?

Good luck with that one. I'm curious to see how well that works out for you. ~huge grin~



Bear in mind that many men are not looking for sex, but rather eros, but that men often approach eros from the other direction as women. Just as women often must feel emotionally connected before they cna be physically open in a relationship, many men must feel physically connected before they can be open emotionally.

Women sometimes mistake this different path for men as men "just" wanting sex (men at times mistake women for "only" wanting to share feelings).


(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: PRETENDERS ? - 8/29/2005 12:45:42 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I loved the Pretenders, are they still touring?

As for wannabe's, well they have to start somewhere, why not here?

As for faker's, those who say the are, but only say so for the sex....hmmmmm, Off with their nuts!

I'm sure there are women like that too though.

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 20
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