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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/22/2008 7:02:35 PM

ProlificNeeds

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Only you can put the breaks on yourself. No matter what drugs or therapy or anger management or whatever it is you seek out. None of them work unless you make it work. They're all crutches, no one will fix the problem for you. I'd suggest a diary first, and a lot of self reflection.

Identify when you get mad, it doesn't always matter what makes you mad, but you must be able to tell when you're sliding off the deep-end. Once you can accurately identify these fits, you begin the arderous task of analyzing and stopping them. You are the source, you have to be the cure as well, no one else can make it stop for you.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/22/2008 10:23:29 PM

Belladonna30

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i would like to thank all of you once again for your input. After much discussion this evening with Sir, it has been decided that i am to resign from my submission status. It is far too hard to be an Ultra Domme at work and crack whips to get things done and work 12-16 hour days with clients calling me at home and such to try to be submissive. my work has to take precedence over submission at this time. Unfortunately, this is my home which i share with Sir, but it is still my home as He moved in with me, i am also the primary bread winner so i pay for everything as well. i have a tendency to use this against Him, but not purposely, it just slips out. i am not married to Him so i have to create my own financial security and it is more important to have a roof than a Dom. i have made it very clear to Him, that regardless of whether He is here or not, my life goes on and things need to be done and money made. i know i sound like the worst sub ever and maybe i am, but i can't help that. i apologize for wasting Your/your time.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 12:05:45 AM

SimplyMichael

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Honey,

It isn't you that sounds like "the worst of"...but someone else in your life.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 12:16:50 AM

Kalista07

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Strange as it may seem, i think i'm going to speak at this from a different point of view....Have You ever just been really frustrated and resentful? What do You do with it? Shove it down....That's right...Burry it...Because after all a "good" ________ (fill in the blank: wife/girlfriend/lover/submissive/slave/whore/fuckbuddy, etc) wouldn't be so upset about this....
i have to tell You that in my past i was in a long term relationship with a jackass (not judging...just sayin) who didn't work...And we would fight about the stupidest stuff...And i let Him truly convince me i was crazy....Thing was, after i dumped Him i realized hell ya i'm pissed...i'm pissed cause i've been supporting this lazy bastards ass.......

Although, that could just be my experience.... LOL

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 1:22:12 AM

sensiia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Strange as it may seem, i think i'm going to speak at this from a different point of view....Have You ever just been really frustrated and resentful? What do You do with it? Shove it down....That's right...Burry it...Because after all a "good" ________ (fill in the blank: wife/girlfriend/lover/submissive/slave/whore/fuckbuddy, etc) wouldn't be so upset about this....
i have to tell You that in my past i was in a long term relationship with a jackass (not judging...just sayin) who didn't work...And we would fight about the stupidest stuff...And i let Him truly convince me i was crazy....Thing was, after i dumped Him i realized hell ya i'm pissed...i'm pissed cause i've been supporting this lazy bastards ass.......

Although, that could just be my experience.... LOL

OMG were you married to my ex too Kalista07? LOL

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 4:35:11 AM

Dnomyar

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What crap. Go to therapy and learn that it is all your parents fault. It is not because you refused to take any responsibility. It is always someone elses fault not poor you. To the OP. It sounds like you need to take some time out for yourself.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 7:11:35 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

What crap. Go to therapy and learn that it is all your parents fault. It is not because you refused to take any responsibility. It is always someone elses fault not poor you. To the OP. It sounds like you need to take some time out for yourself.

Gee, does talking about these sort of issues make you angry? You know what, it CAN be the parents fault that you don't take responsibility, wrap your head around that one. I don't know what therapist peed in your cornflakes but a good therapist (one who knows what they are doing and are a good emotional fit) can help someone who wants to change.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 7:48:11 AM

Leatherist

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Give him the option of ignoring you when you pop off.

Difuse it's power on your own, and you will stop resorting to it as a communication tool.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 8:48:31 AM

sensiia

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Ahh yes ignoring really sucks and it cuts to the bone in my case. I am not totally ignored but denied what I am accustomed to with Him, to me it feels like I am being ignored as I love attention. I got sarcastic this past weekend while at his residence and no pain could match His distance from me. We are in an LDR till my home can get sold and a move come summer so talking at length with Him has been cut back to short phone calls and hardly any emails.

Sometimes my mouth just likes to get me into trouble, after this past weekend I learned my lesson, if not... I only have myself to blame. .

If you truly desire something enough you will learn to control your actions, that is your responsibility.

I too am very independent, worked in law enforcement (on the streets wont say which ones but they were tough) raised a child on my own since my divorce 5 years ago and am putting myself through school with one year left. Only you can hold yourself back. I still struggle, but my desire to please Him and be free of my own bondage makes it easier to let go.

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RE: How can i curb my violent streak? sub seeks advice. - 1/23/2008 8:59:23 AM

Leatherist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sensiia

Ahh yes ignoring really sucks and it cuts to the bone in my case. I am not totally ignored but denied what I am accustomed to with Him, to me it feels like I am being ignored as I love attention. I got sarcastic this past weekend while at his residence and no pain could match His distance from me. We are in an LDR till my home can get sold and a move come summer so talking at length with Him has been cut back to short phone calls and hardly any emails.

Sometimes my mouth just likes to get me into trouble, after this past weekend I learned my lesson, if not... I only have myself to blame. .

If you truly desire something enough you will learn to control your actions, that is your responsibility.

I too am very independent, worked in law enforcement (on the streets wont say which ones but they were tough) raised a child on my own since my divorce 5 years ago and am putting myself through school with one year left. Only you can hold yourself back. I still struggle, but my desire to please Him and be free of my own bondage makes it easier to let go.

Exactly. When a bad behavior gets you the "silent treatment" the button pushing is cut off abruptly. And the one doing it is left to contemplate the response-as thiers to deal with.

Not to project onto others.

It's quite effective when used in selective moderation.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 1/23/2008 9:00:18 AM >

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