That's Domming? (Full Version)

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kitttty -> That's Domming? (1/21/2008 4:58:58 PM)

So, I went to this party and there were these two pro Dommes there. I was sort of confused by their style. Basically they just flailed a whip around a bunch of times. But there wasn't really much dominant about either of them. They would laugh and joke and talk casually with the sub, who acted kind of the same as the Dommes except that the subs were receiving the whipping.

I have not ever seen other people play before and I found this odd. In my experience, the Dom acts dominant and I act submissive. Or when I Domme, I act strict- you know like, I speak in a cold voice, do some verbal humiliation and stuff. I have normal conversations with subs, but not while scening.

Is this normal though? There are lots masochists that just want to be whapped around- so much so that pro Dommes can do nothing but whack people around and still make decent money?




CuriousLord -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:01:14 PM)

Sounds like you saw two pro top's.

What can one say?  Sex sells.




LadyLynx -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:01:58 PM)

well maybe that was what the scene was agreed on. maybe the person getting whipped wanted just that.  I like a Dom/Domme that do both, depending on the scene and the person.  Though personally, If all I wanted was to get whipped, I would ask a friend to do it.




AquaticSub -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:03:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

So, I went to this party and there were these two pro Dommes there. I was sort of confused by their style. Basically they just flailed a whip around a bunch of times. But there wasn't really much dominant about either of them. They would laugh and joke and talk casually with the sub, who acted kind of the same as the Dommes except that the subs were receiving the whipping.

I have not ever seen other people play before and I found this odd. In my experience, the Dom acts dominant and I act submissive. Or when I Domme, I act strict- you know like, I speak in a cold voice, do some verbal humiliation and stuff. I have normal conversations with subs, but not while scening.

Is this normal though? There are lots masochists that just want to be whapped around- so much so that pro Dommes can do nothing but whack people around and still make decent money?


What on earth is "acting dominant"?

Perhaps it looked to you like they just "flailed a whip around" but that was exactly what the bottom/sub/slave wanted or exactly what the domme wanted to do. And yes, scenes don't always have to be deadly serious. You are allowed to joke around during them without losing your dom/sub card. In fact I usually joke around during play. Really the only times I don't are when Valyraen and I are playing a very intense scene, which we never do in public.

Usually if I don't giggle or start mumbling about shrimp pasta (don't ask me, it just comes out of my mouth) you are doing something wrong.




ownedgirlie -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:05:17 PM)

Without knowing the arrangement amongst the individuals, who can say?  Maybe they were play partners who were topping/bottoming to each other.  Maybe......(insert pretty much anything here).

Your comment about masochists seems rather derogatory, however.




littlebitxxx -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:06:01 PM)

<FR>
Sounds like a typical casual play party to me.  When I play casually, there is no all-over sub-ly type feeling nor do I expect the Doms to come over all dominant.  We are there to play and that's it.  Sorta like a kinky version of going for coffee.




Phin -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:06:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Usually if I don't giggle or start mumbling about shrimp pasta (don't ask me, it just comes out of my mouth) you are doing something wrong.
I would be laughing so hard I would throw the flogger across the room...




ownedgirlie -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:06:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Usually if I don't giggle or start mumbling about shrimp pasta (don't ask me, it just comes out of my mouth) you are doing something wrong.


LOL that's cute.  The last time Mr. Wonderful put me in severe pain, I did the sign of the cross (with wrists bound) and mumbled, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

No clue why.




kitttty -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:08:07 PM)

The lesson I learn here is that I really should proDomme.






AquaticSub -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:11:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

LOL that's cute.  The last time Mr. Wonderful put me in severe pain, I did the sign of the cross (with wrists bound) and mumbled, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

No clue why.


That's wonderful! [:)]

I like to have Valyraen watch when people play with me because I speak what is affectionately refered to as "Simish" (ever played the Sims?) when I get to sub space. Sometimes I'll say things that sound like I want the scene to stop but I actually don't so he has to translate.




kitttty -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:12:05 PM)

quote:

Your comment about masochists seems rather derogatory, however.


I just don't get them. Generally I am totally disappointed if I find out that a sub I am interested in is a masochist. I totally do not jive with some of them precisely because sometimes their primary interest is pain and not psychological submission.

I had a great sub who was a masochist once, but sometimes the interests of masochists totally bore me.




AquaticSub -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:12:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

The lesson I learn here is that I really should proDomme.





Tell me, do you actually know that these women were pros?

Cause from the information you provided, the lesson I think you should be learning is that other people play differently and their way isn't less dominant.




ownedgirlie -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:13:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

That's wonderful! [:)]

Yeah, he laughed his head off.  Even more than when I burst out into singing, "It's not easy being green..."


quote:


I like to have Valyraen watch when people play with me because I speak what is affectionately refered to as "Simish" (ever played the Sims?) when I get to sub space. Sometimes I'll say things that sound like I want the scene to stop but I actually don't so he has to translate.


Never played the Sims.  It's cute though, that you have a translator.  [:)]




fluffyswitch -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:13:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

The lesson I learn here is that I really should proDomme.




i guess this might seem a little harsh but my question is why does it matter? neither of my dominants have to get all 'cold' and 'hard' on me for them to get the point across, especially Sir. in fact i'm learning that it's when he's perfectly normal and calm that i  have to step carefully.

so these dommes weren't in line with your experience of dom/ming. they just weren't cookie cutter dommes.




Phin -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:14:18 PM)

guys pay alot to be lazy. I dont consider them paying for the sex or for the beating, I never had a problem getting a beating when I was looking for them




AquaticSub -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:14:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Yeah, he laughed his head off.  Even more than when I burst out into singing, "It's not easy being green..."



That is awesome. Totally beats my shrimp pasta.




kitttty -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:15:26 PM)

quote:


Tell me, do you actually know that these women were pros?


Yeah. They were talking about it. Bragging really. Fine. I'd do the same if I were them, probably.

One girl said she made $150 in 10 min just for whipping a guy and that he came in that ten minutes.

They were together. I saw them have sex with each other later where neither girl dominated the other. I guess that's their thing.




MasterGaach -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:15:37 PM)

I have no experience with pros...but with My own slaves, I certainly feel free to joke around (and occasionally even crack a smile, heaven forbid!).  Sometimes I get into a certain "mood", which absolutely precludes humor...but most of the time I enjoy humor as much as the next Dom. 
 
I've even told My slaves that, as torture, I might force them to listen to My bad jokes!! Bwuhahahaha!!!
 
I suppose that if I was in "public", I would act more "Dom-my", but My self-assurance (which is required for humor) is born of true Dominance.  I'd suggest that those who always act cold, with the "frown / And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command"...might be trying just a bit too hard.    




fluffyswitch -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:16:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

Your comment about masochists seems rather derogatory, however.


I just don't get them. Generally I am totally disappointed if I find out that a sub I am interested in is a masochist. I totally do not jive with some of them precisely because sometimes their primary interest is pain and not psychological submission.

I had a great sub who was a masochist once, but sometimes the interests of masochists totally bore me.


as a masochist i can honestly tell you that the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

but honestly if this is your line of thought you're not going to have to worry about it, since most masochists aren't going to want to play with you anyway.

especially if you're going to label us as boring without even trying to play with more than a handful of us. well i guess you didn't say just a handful but at the same time i'm still really sort of bothered by that line of thinking.

but to each his own.




AquaticSub -> RE: That's Domming? (1/21/2008 5:16:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:


Tell me, do you actually know that these women were pros?


Yeah. They were talking about it. Bragging really. Fine. I'd do the same if I were them, probably.

One girl said she made $150 in 10 min just for whipping a guy and that he came in that ten minutes.

They were together. I saw them have sex with each other later where neither girl dominated the other. I guess that's their thing.


So they are doing what their client wants, or if they are being paid to do what they want, exactly what they what. I still fail to see the problem and I'd still to know what "acting dominant" means exactly.




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