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RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 8:20:04 PM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome to the board!  I find that I usually will give people at least the benefit of the doubt when it comes to calling me mistress.  If I correct them and they ignore it, it is obvious that they cannot follow orders and won't be considered.

_____________________________

Happiness is only real when shared. - Christopher McCandless

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 8:25:15 PM   
msub4Domme


Posts: 66
Joined: 3/22/2004
Status: offline 		i have a similar concept as pixelslave.  When writing to a Domme who i have yet to know (i.e., intro letter), i think it inappropriate to use the word "Mistress".  She is not my mistress yet or may never be (that is Her choice).  That term is one of respect that is earned when a relationship has started to be established.  In an introduction note, i will use the salutation "Dear Lady" (unless She has a preferred cognomen listed).

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 8:27:30 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		It's similar to being called Mrs. if you're a Miss, and vice versa. Not very important, but means something to some people. It's easy enough to set people straight by just telling them.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to msub4Domme)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 9:01:16 PM   
bobipanti


Posts: 87
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		I believe in Female Supremacy; thus when I refer to a Female as Ms, Miss, or as Mistress I do so as a sign of respect and admiration. The female form and mind deserves respect and proper consideration.

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 9:26:07 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I usually tell subs, "Only call me 'Mistress' if my dick is in your mouth."

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:07:11 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes, especially when first exploring the venue, protocols can
become confusing. Most submissives do wish to please, and often
fueled by the Dominants (capitalized because I want to) themselves,
they get caught up in the wishes of many. Most learn rather quickly
of the many myths, misconceptions, and downright bullshit they
thought was indeed accepted by the majority of the masses.

I've simply thought of calling the Female Dominants, Mis cellaneous.
Note I didn't use the word Domme, cause some get downright
offended by that also. Damned if you do, shunned if you don't.

Being an older, yet attractive submissive, I tend to address a Female
Dominant as Ma'am, or by the name which she identifies herself as.

Those with dicks, I just call later.

Remember, everyone whom calls on you will not be a submissive.
For those that are, and do, simple honesty and communication works best.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:18:31 PM   
literaryfairy


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		To be perfectly honest?

When a stranger sends me a message in which he's automatically groveling and calling me Mistress, or talking about how much of a sissyboy/whatever he is to me, I flame his ass and tell him to never contact me again. It may be me being too sensitive, but I always take it as him thinking of me as nothing more than a sexist (or sometimes homophobic) fantasy.

Mistress stereotypes make me a sad switch ):

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:23:01 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Men are really snookered when it comes to addressing female dominants.  Personally, I don't like being called Mistress, but it doesn't bother me excessively, I just ask to be called something else.  I do use the word in one of my email addys, to indicate orientation.  I am fine with "ma'am".  I know LOTS of women who absolutely freak when referred to that way, since they think it's an old lady's term.  Then there are those with zero experience who think we should ALL be called Mistress... so what are we to do but smile pretty and say, "Please call me Ms Francine or ma'am". 

Then when they ignore us, we smack em!  :) 


I used to really get irritated, but I pretty much gave up. Men will call us "Mistress" or "Goddess" in introductary emails 80% of the time or more.  But what baffles me is this.  Most respond and say they only did it because they were trying to be polite - ok, I get that.  I agree, they are challenged, because many women have rules like "you must call me Mistress..." or whatnot; but why is it that so many men choose to take risk offending REASONABLE women (ie, of course you don't "have" to call me anything, you don't know me yet) vs offending UNREASONABLE women ("why, OF COURSE, all men MUST call me Mistress in the first email, or else they are idiots and I won't respond to them!").  It seems as though they would rather risk offending a reasonable person, than an egotistical and unreasonable person. Is the reason they weigh this risk in this manner is that deep down, they find it exciting and erotic that a woman he does not know, or owe anything, would have such demanding and high & mighty expectations?  If so, I'm pretty bummed out.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:41:18 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I used to really get irritated, but I pretty much gave up. Men will call us "Mistress" or "Goddess" in introductary emails 80% of the time or more.  But what baffles me is this.  Most respond and say they only did it because they were trying to be polite - ok, I get that.  I agree, they are challenged, because many women have rules like "you must call me Mistress..." or whatnot; but why is it that so many men choose to take risk offending REASONABLE women (ie, of course you don't "have" to call me anything, you don't know me yet) vs offending UNREASONABLE women ("why, OF COURSE, all men MUST call me Mistress in the first email, or else they are idiots and I won't respond to them!").  It seems as though they would rather risk offending a reasonable person, than an egotistical and unreasonable person. Is the reason they weigh this risk in this manner is that deep down, they find it exciting and erotic that a woman he does not know, or owe anything, would have such demanding and high & mighty expectations?  If so, I'm pretty bummed out.

Akasha



Yeah, it's just like guys don't have to go to your website and pay to be
insulted and humiliated. They can come here and get it for nothing.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:45:36 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I used to really get irritated, but I pretty much gave up. Men will call us "Mistress" or "Goddess" in introductary emails 80% of the time or more.  But what baffles me is this.  Most respond and say they only did it because they were trying to be polite - ok, I get that.  I agree, they are challenged, because many women have rules like "you must call me Mistress..." or whatnot; but why is it that so many men choose to take risk offending REASONABLE women (ie, of course you don't "have" to call me anything, you don't know me yet) vs offending UNREASONABLE women ("why, OF COURSE, all men MUST call me Mistress in the first email, or else they are idiots and I won't respond to them!").  It seems as though they would rather risk offending a reasonable person, than an egotistical and unreasonable person. Is the reason they weigh this risk in this manner is that deep down, they find it exciting and erotic that a woman he does not know, or owe anything, would have such demanding and high & mighty expectations?  If so, I'm pretty bummed out.

Akasha



Yeah, it's just like guys don't have to go to your website and pay to be
insulted and humiliated. They can come here and get it for nothing.

chia* (the pet)


Wow, talk about sour grapes!  Cheer up buddy.  Twas an honest observation. You should see a woman's inbox sometime.  Btw, thanks for the web site plug!

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/22/2008 10:56:52 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
[/quote]

Wow, talk about sour grapes!  Cheer up buddy.  Twas an honest observation. You should see a woman's inbox sometime.  Btw, thanks for the web site plug!

Akasha

[/quote]

You should spread half the cheer I do.
It was the usual insulting observation.

As for the inbox whine and the website plug snide.
Where is that "beat a dead horse" smiley anyway?

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 3:50:40 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Yes, I get that all the time and don't care for it, either.  Unless I am in a relationship with someone, I don't want them calling me Mistress.  When I receive an introductory letter addressing me that way, I generally will just let the person know how I prefer to be addressed.  Most of them honor my wishes.  If they don't, I don't continue writing to them.  I think some of them do it innocently because they don't know any better.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 9:49:47 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
That's right right, your funny post is "sour grapes" and you need to "cheer up."

C'mon, get with the program!!!


(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 9:52:26 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Aren't you MAJOR LEAGUE pissed off that INTO THE WILD was completely shut out of the OSCAR NOMINATIONS?

I'm beginning to hate the Oscars more and more.

Atonement looked like maudlin crap to me.

Where is the damn JUSTICE and GOOD JUDGMENT around here?

(in reply to MsIncontrol)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 10:05:58 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'm considering antidepressants, but only if they're reasonable.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 11:01:34 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I always use the term Ma`am unless asked not to. To be fair to submissive guys there an an awful lot of profiles that say things like " Mistress/Goddess is waiting to hear from you". Anyhow surely an email addressing you as Mistress is better than no email at all ?


(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 11:37:38 AM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		I have no objection to Ma'am or even Mistress in an opening post because they are both titles of respect. I'm a born & bred Southerner & am used to it. I don't have an objection to "Evil" or "Evil Kitty" either, since those are the names they see. I like "Lady" predominantly because "Mistress" to me means I've mastered something. Shucks, I could go my whole life learning to master being a dominant! My own subs have been asked to address me as My Lady or Ma'am depending on how close I feel to THEM; but I no longer get fussed if I'm addressed or even introduced as Mistress, though I will introduce myself as Lady Cat. Depending on the context in which I'm writing, I may or may not use large caps for My Most Gracious & Magnanimous Self in Whose Light the looooooowly sub should be groveling in!

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 11:47:58 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		I for one love a smooth southern purrrrrr, with just the right touch of,

"Fetch me another Mint Julep boy, and adjust yourself, you look like a
broken down pickup with two flats and a jackhandle."

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to EvilKitty)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 2:41:01 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline 		Ma'am I understand, as I even say Ma'am when addressing people (has NOTHING to do with bdsm...just respect). And (sorry I'm not quoteing everyone here) there are quite a few good points being made that with all the hissy fits that get thrown if you DON'T address a dominant as mistress, I'm sure it is confusing for a sub. But AAkasha makes the best point, why risk insulting the resonable person? I don't look for submissive's anyway, so its a waste of time for them to message me to begin with. It shows they took no time to even GLANCE at my profile.

Well...maybe at the picture...and the word Dominant...but thats all.

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Generic Mistress... - 1/23/2008 3:00:43 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		I never call a Woman "Mistress" in introduction, or even after I've known them. Goddess is the same deal. That's a title reserved for somebody who collars/owns/whatever-s me. Usually when I first meet someone it's Ms or Ma'am until told otherwise.

Miss, Madame, Ma'am, Ms, Mz, Lady or even plain ol' first name. Whatever they're most comfortable with. Everyone has the right to be refered to as they please.


_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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