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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 1:16:25 PM   
charlotte12


Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have to say that I feel just as you do.  Usually as I'm being beaten it HURTS! Sometimes I am able to begin to enjoy the sensations but usually I am enjoying suffering for him. However I am dripping whether or not it's "fun" and right after I am all cuddly and looking forward to the next one and I love watching my bruises fade too.

charlotte


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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 1:30:31 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I feel them as pain and then as the  stimulus increases and continues it begins to get a bit less painful, expesially when the endorphins start pouring through me, that's usualy when I get turned on and start asking for harder hits more hits, or that he just please do not slow down cause I'll loose the tolerance I've been building for the pain. No, I'm not into experincing something for his sake alone, I am either enjoying it or we stop. so enjoying the painful stimulations has nothing to do with my being a sub to him.

,
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shammon5

So, I guess my question to the other masochists is this: (1) When you are subjected to sensations that could be described as "painful," do you feel them as "pain" or as "pleasure." Does it "hurt" or does it feel good like a massage or something? (2) To the submissives/slaves, does the fact that you are submitting make pain an enjoyable experience, or the sensations themselves?

I know this is not very well written, but it is very hard to pose a question when I, myself, am confused about what I'm asking. Please feel free to ask any questions. I look forward to your responses.

Respectfully,
Shawna


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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 2:58:38 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Hell yes, it feels like pain.  However, it triggers some strange reaction in my body that just increases my sex drive at the same time.   Only specific types of pains in certain places does this for me.  Yes, it's painful but erotic for me at the same time.  It's wild and mind blowing, and I find pleasure by the fact it stimulates me in the manner it does.  

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 3:49:58 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Today i am still high from yesterday....and yes it was also spiritual, which came from the being in the now and the bringing of everyone all four of us into the now......yesterday there was pain.....nine tail, cane, crop, electro....but today it simply hurts....and i am getting stiffer and feel less flexible and my resistance is returning.....whatever chemistry went on then that chemistry is returning to normal....
but i also wanted to say that pain can be emotional.......jealousy is painful.
And i really do need another word for jealousy which is positive and not carrying negative meaning.
It makes me love Him more when i see how others want Him and that i adore Him enough to want to find Him and give Him the most beautiful experiences with others and to give Him the most beautiful of others to have experiences with....
i need a word that expresses the pain and the pleasure of jealousy......

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/24/2008 3:50:59 PM >

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 3:52:48 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

i need a word that expresses the pain and the pleasure of jealousy......

 
the phrase "emotional masochism" works rather well.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 4:59:43 PM   
Prinsexx


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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

i need a word that expresses the pain and the pleasure of jealousy......

 
the phrase "emotional masochism" works rather well.

yep....but still going to sift through the Oxford Dictionary for a while..... masochist or what?

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 5:11:47 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well, sometimes it is painful, but I get enjoyment out of knowing I'm pleasing MasterK by taking it. Sometimes I can relax into the pain and enjoy it for it's own sake. But I must say, that it never feels like a massage.

Somedays I can take hours worth of sensation, somedays much less, depending on a lot of factors.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 5:23:51 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		i've thought for a long time that "masochism" needs to be split into two different terms... One for stimulation that would be painful under "normal" circumstances, but is pleasurable/sexualized by the circumstances involved, and another word for experiencing pain AS pain, but wanting it anyway (meaning, wanting it to hurt). "Masochism" is used interchangeably, and i think it leads to a lot of unnecessary confusion. 

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 6:33:04 PM   
sublibrarian


Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I find that my pain tolerance varies, seemingly in sync with my menstrual cycle (I can take the most pain right around my period). Most of the time it hurts, but I seem to get wet regardless of whether it's pain I can "take" or pain that hurts like a motherf@#%er. Sometimes the pleasure comes from the pain itself (when my tolerance is high), sometimes from the fact that I can manage to "take" what my Dom dishes out. Often in the midst of things I'm wondering why exactly I want this, lol, but then aftewards I feel really good and happy and can't wait for the next time. I feel much calmer after I've taken some pain in a D/s context. Only recently have I begun identifying as a bit of a masochist, because I do in a strange way enjoy the pain, but I can't take nearly as much pain as some others I know. When I'm feeling stressed I know I feel in the mood for a good beating as it would leave me feeling calm.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 7:31:42 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		For me as a masochist I do not find every form of pain pleasurable or erotic. Different things evoke different responses. My mood and emotional state also have alot to do with how I respond to it.

When I experience a punishment I am not always being submissive. Sometimes receiving pain is just for that intent, no power exchange is going on. If I am doing both I can't differentiate which is giving me more pleasure. They both have the same effect on me.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 1/24/2008 7:32:33 PM >

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/24/2008 8:00:33 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I am a masochist and I have known several masochists who were not the least bit submissive so you are correct in that kinksters come in a wide variety.


As for pain, I love pain.  It's not that it causes me to get giddy or jump for joy like normal pleasures would lead a person to.   It excites me and definitely raises the intensity level.   I'm an intensity freak and pain is an easy path to getting that intensity. 

As was mentioned above, it is different for different people.   I know some masochists who will actually drift off into subby space during pain and this is exactly the opposite of what I experience.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/26/2008 11:59:08 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Welp you have gotten some great answers. Pain HURTS. Break an arm, stub a toe, get a charlie horse or migraine and you are not going to get the same response you do from a caning, whip or clamps. There are times during sexual activities that pain is still gonna be pain. It is not the right type for your mood, hormones, whatever for that day..somedays I can lay under a flogger/whip for hours, others, I am ready to fling it across the room. Your mind controls a lot of it, and if your dominant is controlling your mind, reaching an endorphic high is going to be easier than if your dominant is not. There are no special nerves for pain or pleasure. They are the same nerves, delivering the same information (one of the reasons tickling both hurts, feels weird, and is pleasurable at the same time) and carry the message to the brain. How the brain interprets those messages is what tells you it feels good, or get the hell out of there.

That said, here's a laugh for you, tolerances change. What was pleasant and enjoyable one day may send you up the wall the next. What was enough today, is no where near enough tomorrow. Things get very interesting for Masochists, and all the rest as well. Herein lies the rub. A goodly majority of people who do NOT identify as masochists enjoy some pain play, some more than others. Some of that pain play has absolutely nothing to do with pain in a physical sense and can instead be delivered through humiliation, subjugation or emotional manipulation.

Masochism is not exlusively bound to pain play either. If you refer to Websters the definition is:
1. characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation especially by a love object 
2. pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering

While I do not agree with the abuse definition (abuse is abuse and not consentual in any way) I do agree that humiliation that results in satisfaction of an emotional or physical need as well as suffering that does the same can be a healthy form of masochism.

Most however equate it with pain play of a heavy sort. The ability to turn pain to pleasure.

poenkitten
p.s. the body can lubricate even in situations where you are NOT physically or emotionally aroused. It is a hold over from the days we just made it out of the trees (so to speak) and males were a bit less civilized, skipping dinner and a movie before sex with a strange female

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/26/2008 12:18:52 PM   
sweetsub1986


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		I feel the pain as exactly that...pain which by definition hurts. I find some but not all kinds of pain erotic...so it is also pleasure. I love the experience of the pain itself but it is greatly enhanced by how my Owner(sadist) reacts to experience as well. I revel in the enjoyment he gets out of it as much as my own first hand experience with the sensations.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/26/2008 1:24:38 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shammon5
(1) When you are subjected to sensations that could be described as "painful," do you feel them as "pain" or as "pleasure." Does it "hurt" or does it feel good like a massage or something?

I do not identify as a masochist, however sometimes I experience a sensation as pain and sometimes as pleasure. And sometimes, it hurts but in a good hurt kind of way like a massage. For instance, I enjoy play piercing. Sometimes, after the first needle, each needle insertion is as erotic as being fucked to me. Sometimes, it just hurts worse and worse and worse and I become more and more tense and anxious as the piercing increases, and finally I can't handle the pain anymore. And sometimes I flinch with the pain and but love it and am ready for more. Notice, in the first kind of situation I may not even notice how many times I'm pierced. In the second, I'm counting the piercings and dreading each one, and in the third I'm aware of each piercing and looking forward to each one. All because I have processed the pain differently for some reason.
I know factors that change my ability to process pain include ambient temperature (if I feel cold I can't handle as much pain or intensity), audience (a couple of appreciative onlookers trigger my exhibitionist streak and I can tolerate more pain, but too many onlookers or people who are commenting loudly and pull me out of my headspace can result in me tolerating less pain), how many people are at an event, the ambiance of the event (casual, high fetish, high protocol, formal, kink focused or sex focused or lots of people playing or few people playing, mostly socializing or mostly play, etc), and the mood of my relationship at the time. When we are fighting I can take much less pain than when we are cuddly and happy. I can take more pain when I am feeling a high stimulation of our D/s dynamic than when we have been vanilla boyfriend/girlfriendish all week.
quote:

(2) To the submissives/slaves, does the fact that you are submitting make pain an enjoyable experience, or the sensations themselves?

I submit to pain that I absolutely despise, and neither the pain as an experience overall nor the sensation is pleasurable. However, I find that it drives me deeper into submission and that dynamic is pleasurable/positive for me. Sometimes feeling deeply submissive means I can tolerate far more pain than normal, whether I'm processing it as pleasure, pleasurable pain, or just fucking ow, simply because I'm getting such a feeling of fulfillment from being his victim because he is a sadist, serving him by providing him with someone to hurt. Being submissive makes me willing to endure the experience, but doesn't necessarily make the experience enjoyable.


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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/26/2008 10:34:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

(1) When you are subjected to sensations that could be described as "painful," do you feel them as "pain" or as "pleasure." Does it "hurt" or does it feel good like a massage or something? (2) To the submissives/slaves, does the fact that you are submitting make pain an enjoyable experience, or the sensations themselves?


I would say that the sensations are painful and pleasurable at the same time.. it hurts and it feels good all at once sometimes, other times I do not feel pain at all, and still other times it only hurts and I get no pleasure from it.

I get more pleasure from pain when my partner is getting pleasure from inflicting it, if he isn't into it, then I am unlikely to be. I get pleasure from the sensations, but the energy exchange with my Daddy, and the dynamic that we have make it more than the physical sensations.


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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/27/2008 2:48:56 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		getting wet from the pain, isn't necessarily indicative that it was an enjoyable experience for the receiving party, a woman that has just been raped is a classical example of this...

for me, pain that is enjoyable, is not perceived as painful by me either before, during or after the experience is said and done.

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/27/2008 5:36:35 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I know factors that change my ability to process pain include ambient temperature (if I feel cold I can't handle as much pain or intensity), audience (a couple of appreciative onlookers trigger my exhibitionist streak and I can tolerate more pain, but too many onlookers or people who are commenting loudly and pull me out of my headspace can result in me tolerating less pain),

Yes i completely understand this. Cold is the worse inhibitor and i usually feel cold when i am tense just before play. Being watched is a real incentive, the best additonal incentive other than my needing to please, and i love it when my 'audience' is quiet and focused and listening as well as looking as i know thay are getting eroticised pleasure from watching.

So yes environment is a huge factor in my experience of pain.

i also really love the pain that lingers, the pain that turns into an ache and a hurt and a bruise and a tenderness.

Especially i love pain that is administered by my Master as He implicitly understands my limits; He is not a sadistic top and i am not merely a pain slut. In otherwords i do not have or need limits with Him and it is just mindblowing how he knows when to stop. And when to hit at random to get my submission. And he loves to do it.  My pain is pleasure for Him but not the only pleasure He takes....

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/27/2008 8:00:12 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		Shammon
  
   For me, pain is still painful and I do not like to feel pain.
I guess that makes me a non-masochist.  According to Tyson and the way the difference has been explained to me.
 
  HOWEVER  there are things that he does to me that would hurt if it wasn't him doing it and I wasn't in the mindset I am in. But because of those two things ( its Tyson in control and I am submitting to him ) that make it become/registers as something other than painful.  I feel its intensity and a sensation of heat that burns almost, but my body and mind "lean" into it rather than reject it and wanting it to stop.  I don't want it to stop, I want more and more and more....ways to feel, ways to surrender to anything he desires to do to me.
 
 ( The exception is nipple torture...my nipples and breasts will register painful touching as pleasure no matter who or what or mindset....That began happening after I began bottoming to a Top many years ago and he sensatized them to extreme pressure and sensations )
 
   When I go to the dentist> I want every drug available so I don't feel them working on my teeth in anyway.   When I have to give blood > I hate those needles!.. they frickin hurt.
   But when its Tyson and he is the one piercing my skin > it feels wonderful and warm and possessive and orgasmic...
  go figure.  sigh.
 
So for me, I guess it comes down to the mindset and how I process sensation while I am in that mindset..and serving or submitting.  vs  the excitement to feeling painful things happening to me and getting aroused by that.
 
 
 

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/27/2008 8:39:01 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with many other on this forum...pain is different for many people..for me not all types of "pain" hurts...some of it feels good...some of it hurts like hell and I am left with the thought :what the hell was I thinking?" Some "pains" give me the emotionally break down I need and gives the Dominate the tears they where hoping for...Emotional "pain" I feel is worse...rejection even for a second can lead to thoughts of " what did I do wrong" The inability to please or to dominate will cause emotional discomfort as well....Pain like so many other things are an individual quest....Pamela

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RE: A Question for Masochists - 1/27/2008 9:52:04 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		The fact that I am submitting always makes the pain more enjoyable and makes it sexual.  I like pain for the release, but pain with submission makes me wet and quivery.  (I used to cut myself a long time ago, which wasn't sexual at all, just cathartic.  Now when Master and I engage in blade play and the rare times he actually cuts me, it is intensely sexual, just as an example).  I am an odd one in that I can actually enjoy flogging myself (kinda  like the monks of old purging their sins), but it just feels good.  If I'm inflicting the pain myself it isn't sexual.  If the person who is hurting me isn't into it, it doesn't generally even reach the release state for me, which is why it was unfulfilling when my vanilla husband used to flog me just to please me.

As many others have said, certain types of pain are more inherently erotic and others really hurt!  I often have an orgasm from flogging, and it certainly makes me wet even if it is really intense.  I actually hate the sensation of crops as they hit me and love the way I feel seconds afterwards.  Canes actually hurt terribly, but I always want more.  I despise the sensations of the tawse as well as paddles, but it is extremely erotic to me when I know I am taking something I hate to please him.  When he uses the pinwheel on my labia, it is an indescribible mixture of pleasure and pain.   So, some kinds of pain are inherently sexy to me and others hurt in a more "normal" way, but the context makes them fantastic.

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