RE: So, there I was............ (Full Version)

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quick -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 2:53:38 PM)

One of my more idiotic moves occurred at my gym. I was at the counter talking with one of the employees, discussing the matinee I was heading out to see. A man was standing next to me, and interjected with a comment about how he wanted to see the same movie. He asked when I was thinking of going. I replied, "I am headed there now." He suggested I go to the later matinee and he could meet me there. I blithely repeated, "Oh that's okay, I am headed there now."

As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I suddenly realized he had asked me out. I was stunned by my idiocy, and too mortified to go back in and plead stupidity.

I am a dork.



Asherdelampyr -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 2:56:04 PM)

I was at Dennys, after going to the club, I was siting in a chair, wearin my bondage pants (with the chains on) and when I got up to leave, I realized I had somehow gotten stuck to the chair... I ended up having one of my friends get me a pair of pliers so I could remove the chain that got caught... I think its still there



Emperor1956 -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 3:18:17 PM)

dance dance dance blah blah blah....look, what we REALLY want to know is when you are standing in front of those fancy digital copiers, do you ever strip off and copy something I'd pay to see?  Where are these pictures???

E.



Emperor1956 -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 3:35:00 PM)

OK *sigh*.  To understand this story you have to know that I consider myself very cool, very urban, very well versed in the ways of the world.  As this story will clearly show.

About 20 years ago, my wife and I bought a condo in the part of Chicago commonly referred to as "Boystown".  If you don't know what that is....consider that in this neighborhood there are rainbow colored flags EVERYWHERE, the main street in this neighborhood hosts a certain Pride Parade every year, and the corner tap on my block was called "THE MANHOLE"  (if you don't understand by now, move back to Cedar Falls, dear).  We loved the apartment and the neighborhood.

So about 3 weeks after moving in, we are going out for the evening.  I say to wife "I'll go get the car and I'll meet you in front of the building."  Which I did...and I was waiting for her on this lovely June Saturday night, and a nice friendly young man comes by and sees me sitting in my car, at the curb, engine off, and he pauses to chat.  I have the window down, and he comes up to the car and smiles at me.  I smile at him.  He says "HI!"  and I say "HI".  He says "What you doing?"  and I say "oh, just waiting on someone."  And he's very friendly and I'm new in the 'hood and he leans in to chat a bit more....and....uh.....he leans in a BIT more and his hand suddenly isn't in HIS pocket any more...its sort of in MY pocket...or near my pocket...and he's asking about a date...and...

My wife comes up, and smiles and says to the nice young man "Sorry, sweetie...this one's taken."   AND way too late the nickel drops.  I turn BRIGHT red.  and I do the classic straight guy stammer and stutter and ...oh....   Did you know that there are GUYS that do that for money?  uhhhhh.

Yes...This one is taken...he's totally clueless...but he is taken *BLUSH*

E




LaTigresse -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 3:38:24 PM)

E, you've got to get out more.



Emperor1956 -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 3:43:05 PM)

quote:

LaTigresse:  E, you've got to get out more.



Get out more...yes?  NOT come out more?  Whew.

E.



soul2share -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 5:46:14 PM)

Well, I got off the bus on my way to work last Friday, was jogging across the street to get out of traffic, and fell flat on my face.......did manage to roll, so the damage wasn't too bad....tore up the left hand, the left knee, and a hole in my pants....and of course, there were cars at each street at the intersection.  Not sure why I tripped...didn't fall over my feet, there wasn't anything in the roadway, I just started to fall forward, and couldn't stop it.....like my equilibrium was all messed up.

I learned a long, long, LONG time ago not to sing or dance anywhere that someone may actually see me.....I have two left feet and they are both on backwards!  And I sing in two places...the shower, and the car with the windows rolled up tight!



quick -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 5:51:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

....  (if you don't understand by now, move back to Cedar Falls, dear) ....






LMAO! Okay, I liked that!



CrimsonMoan -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 5:54:04 PM)

Hmm I hate nearly all country music with a passion my BF is a big country fan. as of late i've found myself either singing along with said songs in my head and acknowledging that I have actually MEMORIZED the gawd damn lyrics.

I can share Asher's pain. I have fabric straps for my bondage pants and they get caught constantly on the under seat lever of my bf's buick. I have enarly fallen out of the car several times in front of other ppl.



TheHeretic -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 6:01:32 PM)

       I was the last one out of the office on Tuesday.  The wife called on the cell as I was locking up and walking out to my car.  Out of habit, I put my hand on the pocket I keep the cell phone in, turned around, unlocked the door, walked back over to my desk, and was reaching to grab my phone off the computer before realizing I was talking on it. 

      Yes, it had been a hectic day, but still...  Dee-di-dee!



Asherdelampyr -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 6:01:51 PM)

At least im not the only one :P
that was directed at Crimson



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 6:05:34 PM)

All of these things are wonderful! Now I don't feel so bad when I do something like try to transfer to the chair in the eye doctor's office - and forget to undo the seat belt on my wheelchair.

(No, I don't know why the damn thing has a seat belt, but since it's there, I have to wear it because otherwise it'll hang down and get tangled in the wheels.)



BBWnNC72 -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 6:39:56 PM)

i tend to sing, and not always in my head, "going around the mullberry bush" or "roll um roll um rawhide" as i am working. the problem is i take care of the elderly and some look at me strange if i am singing the rawhide song as i am rolling them back and forth to change them. 



Lashra -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 7:10:59 PM)

Ok my sub and I had watched The Wizard of Oz original movie and the next day while walking thru the mall hand in hand we began to skip and sing "We're off to see the wizard.." We got a few looks, particularly from my 17 year old who looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.[:D]

~Lashra



JulieorSarah -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/24/2008 11:04:28 PM)

A friend of mine calls it 'a sense of silly' ... you need to have it to survive - children love to see adults acting silly.  Also it's quite charming to see some one 'being them selves'.  As on who really enjoys a singing, loudly however it doesn't sound to those around me anything like what I hear.  I have the bruises and marks from the tape... tape, oh dear let's not go there.



LaTigresse -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/25/2008 7:45:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: quick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

....  (if you don't understand by now, move back to Cedar Falls, dear) ....






LMAO! Okay, I liked that!


I've just been trying to figure out who is from Cedar Falls.....



Emperor1956 -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/25/2008 11:13:21 AM)

quote:

BBWnNC72i tend to sing, and not always in my head, "going around the mullberry bush" or "roll um roll um rawhide" as i am working. the problem is i take care of the elderly and some look at me strange if i am singing the rawhide song as i am rolling them back and forth to change them. 



Yah but I bet the activity director loves it when you get to "Head 'em up, move 'em out, move 'em out HEAD 'EM UP....RAWHIIIIIIIDE!"

_____________

Lashra, it is a cardinal rule in our house that my wife and I were put on this earth to embarass our now-20 year old daughter.  Just remember that, and you'll NEVER have a worry.

_____________

Crimson Moan and others who hate country/western.  Get your hands on an XM radio, and spend an hour with the X Country channel (pronounced "Cross Country").  They play the best mix of new, punk, alternative, Austin, New Orleans and such C&W music.  It will revolutionize your thinking.

_____________

PS:  Cedar Falls is just a rural nom de place.  I could have used any rural naive small town....like...Burlington.  Or Iowa City (smooch).

E



trappedinamuseum -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/25/2008 11:26:12 AM)

So there I was, standing in a Target looking at over-the-door hangers for my towel.  I couldn't find the one I wanted..but my roomate pointed out some where she was standing about ten feet away.  She loudly asked me, "How about these mounted ones?"

I replied, just as loudly, "I don't want to mount anything!!!"

Then I realized the aisle was full of guys pretending to know something about hardware....it didn't end well.



mnottertail -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/25/2008 11:28:32 AM)

For LT:


Let me tell you about Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hand
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And, every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde, and ride

[Spoken] Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he
would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils,
swingingest grade "A" number one US choice dancer in
the sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had
a thing goin', you know, and they'd been carryin' on
for some time now behind the sultan's back and you
could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the
dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert
air and he'd say (imitate Arabic speech and finish with "Sold! American)
which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!" and Clyde'd say, (imitate camel
sound), which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"

Well, he brought that camel to a screechin' halt (verbal screeching sound)
In the rear of Fatima's tent
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner
And into the tent he went.
There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug
With
[Spoken in falsetto and possibly with female backups] "Rings on her fingers and
bells on her toes and a bone in her nose ho, ho."

[Spoken] There she was, friends, lyin' there in all her radiant
beauty, eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate,
bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars,
sipping on a RC co-cola listenin' to her transistor,
watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad
magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose
it's flavor?" Yeah, Ahab walked up to her and he say,
(imitate Arabic speech), which is Arabic for "Let's twist
again like we did last summer, baby.!!" Ha, ha, ha!!
You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug,
give him one of the sly looks,

She said (suggestive giggles, then outright laughter) "Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"

('round and around and around and around, and around and around and around)

Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sand

RayMasterStevens



subtee -> RE: So, there I was............ (1/25/2008 12:03:23 PM)

"Wash him and bring him to my tent."

Chertee



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