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RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 11:49:09 AM

subtreat4u

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Hello
New to CM
I have nothing firm, but in the beginning stage of a possible 24/7
D/s
Any advice, things, i should be aware of

Thanks

< Message edited by subtreat4u -- 1/24/2008 11:50:34 AM >

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 11:59:19 AM

jasmine2008

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just do what your naster/dommne says to do i guess good luck with it

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 12:00:16 PM

AquaticSub

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~Fast Reply~

My general advice is to think of the things that are important to you (family, friends, hobbies, etc) and making that you still be allowed to do them and see those people.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 12:02:53 PM

RCdc

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Quite honestly, if you have to ask outside of your relationship, you shouldn;t be going into a 24.7 one.
This is something only your dominant can talk through you with any benefit.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 12:46:40 PM

peppermint

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Having read your posts from here and in Ask A Mistress, my first advice would be not to worry about 24/7 and what may be expected of you until you've met her. You'll need to take several months to get to know each other and discover if there is any chemistry between you. Then if you are offered that 24/7 live in position you should discuss your concerns about what is expected of you with your Mistress. Whether you will cook, clean, or take care of her, her other sub, and roommate should then be discussed. Your concerns about sex should also be discussed and agreed to before joining her poly family.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 1:08:42 PM

DesFIP

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My advice is nobody should start off 24/7. Until you know you are going to be able to get along, which takes more than email, phone and the occasional visit, you should have someplace of your own to fall back on. What happens if this doesn't work out? Will you be on the street? Can you afford to rent someplace else? Store your belongings,etc?

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 6:54:30 PM

subtreat4u

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Thank you all so much.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 7:05:07 PM

RedMagic1

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I haven't read any of your other posts, but there is something odd about this situation. You haven't met in real, and both of you are seriously considering 24/7? You may have some savings, and no strong attachments to house, job, church responsibilities, etc. Ok, fine. But the person you are corresponding with is seriously considering having someone she has never met be under the same roof as other members of her family, from day one? Either you've made one hell of a good impression or something is flaky.

Either I am really misunderstanding this, or you are. I would say, #1) meet her. #2) Meet everyone else you might be living with. #3) Spend time with them part-time, and hopefully all of you will grow to become a unit of some sort.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 7:10:37 PM

subtreat4u

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i am sorry
it is not moving that fast.
i need to make a decision is this right for me (24/7)
once this is done it is to get to know each other.
She has the final decision.

Thank You all

< Message edited by subtreat4u -- 1/24/2008 7:11:20 PM >

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 7:19:58 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtreat4u
i am sorry
it is not moving that fast.
i need to make a decision is this right for me (24/7)
once this is done it is to get to know each other.
She has the final decision.

So you have to make a decision in a vacuum, but she gets to make a decision with full information. Who is hamstringing you this way, you or her?

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 7:28:39 PM

liminalRapture

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Well, I'm not a 24/7 type. but it took me a good ten years of life to be able to say yes, I'm sexually submissive. Yes, that seeps into other parts of my life, but these are the parts it can't seep in. I actually did a one-month trial 24/7 with my now-ex and it solidified for me that I'm just not that way.

FWIW, one thing I've noticed--when my professional life is going well, and I'm in my 'career' which involves lots of authority, I'm much more submissive when I get to that spot. When my professional life isn't going well and I'm doing secretarial work to make the ends meet, I have about no interest in surrender. For me, it is a hard limit to bring erotic energy into my career workplace, but I might consider it if I were doing a day job again.

So, one thing you might want to look at is what feeds the different parts of your personality--what do you want and where do you get it?

Is there a way you can explore incrementally? And what do you need? I think your 'hard limits' can be nebulous as well as specific. My nebulous hard limit is I need anyone I'm with to watch my "bounciness" (which I describe as a combination of confidence, optimism and joy)--not on an minute to minute, but on a week to week basis. I need whoever I'd be with to commit to keeping my bounciness. It is something essential to me. I know it is ephemeral, but talking about it is really helpful for me. Figure out those things for you.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 7:55:29 PM

devotedsylph

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I read your post in another folder.

Unless I'm mistaken, it sounds like you haven't met this woman yet or spent much face time with her. She is basically a stranger, and you are thinking of moving in? What's the rush? Why not see how the relationship goes, if anywhere?

simply,
sylph

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 8:36:52 PM

subtreat4u

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I am seeing there is alot more work to my ideals of a relationship.

devotedsylph Beautiful picture.
No at this time we have not done anything except she has told me how, and what would be.
What it TPE, meant.
If i decide i can accept that type of commitment it could possibly move on to getting to know each other if we, She agrees! Any case the final decision will be hers. I am sorry for any confusion I may have caused.

liminalRapture Cool sunset.
You have given me something to consider, and appreciate it.

RedMagic1 That would be me.
I am so anxious, and know i need to settle down, and let things run their course..

thanks again to all

< Message edited by subtreat4u -- 1/24/2008 8:39:12 PM >

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 10:31:49 PM

Rayne58

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*fast reply*
Whoa talk about jumping in feet first! Sir and I have been living together for 4 years and we don't have a TPE, although the relationship can be described as a 24/7.

I suggest you google "sub frenzies" and sit back and think about what you really want. 24/7 TPE can be much more difficult than you realise and a lot of people are just not cut out for it (including me

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/24/2008 11:08:06 PM

subtreat4u

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Rayne58
Thank you.
i have concerns that was the reason i posted.
All advice is helping, and considered
thank you for yor reply
Advice taken (google sub frenzies)

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 1:01:55 AM

Bound2One

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I'd suggest doing a lot of soul searching from your pov. You may know what her requirements will be, but having not met her yet, you don't know if she is the person you can have that relationship with. I've spoken with many Doms, some of whom I could have only played with occasionally if we had gotten involved - I couldn't have submitted fully to them. Be sure you know what you need from your Domme and see if she fits this for you. Sure, she may have the 'final say', but it's your choice as to whether you can submit to her so fully.

Good luck to you!

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 2:36:03 AM

subtreat4u

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Bound2One
Thank You for the advice.
POV meaning what ?
I am not real familar with this term.(abreviation)

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 3:40:30 AM

Justme696

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POV = point of view :)

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 4:47:32 AM

batshalom

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I could be wrong of course, but this sounds a little deeper than sub frenzies. I would suggest getting a copy of "The Language of Letting Go" and read it religiously.

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RE: RE:24/7 possible need advice - 1/25/2008 5:57:43 AM

Bound2One

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