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Maya2001 -> RE: BDSM SNOBS (1/25/2008 9:23:16 AM)
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quote:
Your analogy is somewhat flawed. Look at the example as you presented it, and note the part that I put in bold. You say yourself that you'd seek out an expert and talk to them so as to figure out what you're doing before you try to jump into the middle of things.
I would say, by extension, that asking on collarme for advise and suggestions before going to local clubs or doing your own play is the exact same thing. Seeking out an expert and asking them.
And too often the newbie that goes and seeks out the expert in R/t to learn from will come back and ask something or offer advice and then get slammed/insult for the "one twue way" thinking because they still do not have years of experience with mulitple partners that others have. Some do honestly try to learned but their knowledge will only be as valueable as the mentor or souce they are learning from.
For example a newbie may have come across the CastleRealm site and that is how they started learning, they made the effort to learn, they absorbed what was written, they might come here asking for more advice ......but lo and behold in their honest attempt to further their knowledge they are berated and treated like an idiot and moron simply because because they started their efforts to learn from a site that had a narrow minded and distorted view of the lifestyle. This site offers the best place for newbies to learn from because there are a wide range of knowledge from many experienced people, they newbie can quickly establish there is no one twue way and therefore they would be able to pick and choose the information that will work best for them, if it is offered
I can understand that not every one want sto share their knowledge or they may , see a poster as coming across as a misguided idiot for a question they put forth, if you view it as such why not simply ignore the poster and move on to another post.......... or explain why their views come across as idiotic if that is the way you feel..... what purpose does berating and insulting, offer that person if no advice as to why their question or opinion is foolish or is distorted in your opinion ?? Is it simply done to stroke your own ego or is it done for sadistic pleasure? Now I do understand there are a few here that do not listen and take the offered contructive criticism to heart and learn from , so it becomes a wasted effort offering more advice and they do become deserving of insult and being berating if they keep going on and on but that is different than the newcomer who first arrives, maybe asks a poorly worded question or has been misguided, give them a chance first before judging them , or choose to ignore them if you do not feel they are worth the effort.rather than bash them.
I am a newbie and will be for many years, I will admit that I have made mistakes, will likely make a lot more, that I have allowed myself to become misguided, that I have been guilty of "one twue thinking" but it is when I read about the opinions others expressed or read up info suggested that I become aware of my mistakes or that I am on the wrong path and need re-evaluate my thinking so I am not making as many mistakes in R/t relationship and can spare myself very painful lessons and also broaden my own knowledge base.
I still recall my very first question on this board and luckily there were some that offered advice and explanation, several months later I look back at that question and I do realize how embarassingly stupid it was, at that time I was so naive about the lifestyle that I did not recognize it as such.
So yes... even the stupid idiots are capable of learning if given a chance
And I do expect some will look at this reply and will judge me to still be the idiot luckily my skin is getting thicker, maybe in a few more years I will have gained far more experience and knowledge to understand why
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