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AlterEgo69 -> RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) (1/25/2008 4:46:34 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
The problem with someone saying to me "I want you to adopt this persona" is that he's saying he isn't interested in the real me. He's interested in me acting out the part of his fantasy girl. And I'm a real person, not just some warm body for him to use to masturbate mentally with.
Telling me that he doesn't care what I feel like, as long as I'm a good actress, is not what I'm into. I'm into emotional transparency and authenticity which is the exact opposite of the objectification used in having someone act out a role. And probably why I don't do objectification, humiliation or degradation. I feel like I'm being compared to the porn actress in his head. And obviously I can't win over some airbrushed, surgically enhanced figurine who has multiple takes to say and do stuff just right.
I believe what he was saying was that what he wanted was for HIS submissive to OCCASIONALLY take on the ROLE. Not that this was what he wanted, or even desired, at all times.
I could be wrong, but that was how I read it.
GreedyTop, you basically got it right. It's been very interesting to read the replies - it has made me realize this doesn't apparently come across as intended.
DesFIP, ironically, I am in strong agreement with your sentiment in favor of "being your real self", rather than a phony acting role - MOST of the time. In fact, I find one of the biggest challenges is that most subs have been trained by previous doms to assume what I call the Soldier Archteype - where they respond to whatever I ask of them with a very officious, impersonal "Yes, SIR!". The respect is flattering, but I don't want to have sex with a soldier - I want someone who can connect with me emotionally. It is for this reason that I tried to be emphatic in the BITCH role description that I want her to be HERSELF, and stay connected with me. This was inspired to a large extent by experiences with the Soldier type, which I don't care for as much.
So odd as it might seem, DesFIP's sentiments actually resonate with my own very well. She is correct that when I ask for the WHORE persona, I am asking my sub to detach from being themself, and take on a phony identity that I can think of as a different person. That's my fetish and I make no apology for having it, but it's also a very infrequently desired fetish, and I guess the essay should have articulated that better.
I posted this originally with no particular expectation, but seeing how others react to it is actually becoming a very powerful thing. Thank you all for proof-reading it for me!
A.E.
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