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RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:00:16 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		fast reply

depending on how the word "bitch" is used, i react differently to the person saying it. 

if it's Daddy calling me His lil black sexy bitch, i get all gooey inside because that's His pet name for me

if it's my good friend from Brixham (UK) calling me yer such a fucking bitch, i'm not offended ...he calls many of his female friends bitches.

yet if anyone else calls me a bitch, be in store for one heck of an asskicking


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to AlterEgo69)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:01:37 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Prinsexx.. many folks feel more able (ARE more able) to better articulate themselves in writing than by spoken word.. I am one of them..LOL  Wrtiting makes me slow down my brain, and gives me the chance to re-read/edit what I initially might have said so that there is less chance of me mis-speaking.

If I am misunderstanding your referrenced post, forgive me :)

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:05:53 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The problem with someone saying to me "I want you to adopt this persona" is that he's saying he isn't interested in the real me. He's interested in me acting out the part of his fantasy girl. And I'm a real person, not just some warm body for him to use to masturbate mentally with.

Telling me that he doesn't care what I feel like, as long as I'm a good actress, is not what I'm into. I'm into emotional transparency and authenticity which is the exact opposite of the objectification used in having someone act out a role.  And probably why I don't do objectification, humiliation or degradation. I feel like I'm being compared to the porn actress in his head. And obviously I can't win over some airbrushed, surgically enhanced figurine who has multiple takes to say and do stuff just right.

crikkee you mean you don't have a re-play button?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:08:26 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Prinsexx.. many folks feel more able (ARE more able) to better articulate themselves in writing than by spoken word.. I am one of them..LOL  Wrtiting makes me slow down my brain, and gives me the chance to re-read/edit what I initially might have said so that there is less chance of me mis-speaking.

If I am misunderstanding your referrenced post, forgive me :)

i'm sorry i just don't do well with instructions pushed under the toilet door........
you know slightly out of reach......

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:11:54 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Prinsexx.. many folks feel more able (ARE more able) to better articulate themselves in writing than by spoken word.. I am one of them..LOL  Wrtiting makes me slow down my brain, and gives me the chance to re-read/edit what I initially might have said so that there is less chance of me mis-speaking.

If I am misunderstanding your referrenced post, forgive me :)

i'm sorry i just don't do well with instructions pushed under the toilet door........
you know slightly out of reach......



I want a bathroom that big!!  LOL

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:11:57 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

fast reply

depending on how the word "bitch" is used, i react differently to the person saying it. 

if it's Daddy calling me His lil black sexy bitch, i get all gooey inside because that's His pet name for me

if it's my good friend from Brixham (UK) calling me yer such a fucking bitch, i'm not offended ...he calls many of his female friends bitches.

yet if anyone else calls me a bitch, be in store for one heck of an asskicking


Did you mean Brixton? well there bitch is like a full stop at the end of the sentence.....or maybe it's because i'm a white one......god i love Brixton it's one of a few places where i can dance on a bus and get away with it....xxxxxx

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:13:12 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Prinsexx.. many folks feel more able (ARE more able) to better articulate themselves in writing than by spoken word.. I am one of them..LOL  Wrtiting makes me slow down my brain, and gives me the chance to re-read/edit what I initially might have said so that there is less chance of me mis-speaking.

If I am misunderstanding your referrenced post, forgive me :)

i'm sorry i just don't do well with instructions pushed under the toilet door........
you know slightly out of reach......



I want a bathroom that big!!  LOL


everything is out of reach with my arms tied behind my back.....

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:15:15 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The problem with someone saying to me "I want you to adopt this persona" is that he's saying he isn't interested in the real me. He's interested in me acting out the part of his fantasy girl. And I'm a real person, not just some warm body for him to use to masturbate mentally with.

Telling me that he doesn't care what I feel like, as long as I'm a good actress, is not what I'm into. I'm into emotional transparency and authenticity which is the exact opposite of the objectification used in having someone act out a role.  And probably why I don't do objectification, humiliation or degradation. I feel like I'm being compared to the porn actress in his head. And obviously I can't win over some airbrushed, surgically enhanced figurine who has multiple takes to say and do stuff just right.


I believe what he was saying was that what he wanted was for HIS submissive to OCCASIONALLY take on the ROLE.  Not that this was what he wanted, or even desired, at all times.

I could be wrong, but that was how I read it.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:18:28 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		look i really am a slut, it's being a girlfriend i have most problems with....more insight into how to be a girlfriend please...

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:23:37 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I, too, thought the essay was well done and clearly explained why he was using the names in the way he does. My only real criticism is that -- In my opinion -- he makes some very broad generalizations about the behaviors of men and women, e.g., "Men, myself included, are generally very one-dimensional. As you continue to get to know me, you will know who I am. It won’t change much....Women, on the other hand, are much more complex and interesting creatures than men." I look at men and women as individuals, not pseudo-stereotypes.
 
Just my .02 zlotys. Your milage may vary.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:28:01 PM   
tigerstyle


Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		I like the word bitch, I hadn't thought it out though. I like BECAUSE of the pejorative, contemptuous overtones.

(in reply to AlterEgo69)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:29:30 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Yes the generalizations are from whence I imagine the flames will come. Still...I would like to know how or if the OPs role or mein changes under each expression in this formal system, or is the Dom always the Dom?

It's very interesting, yes post more if you care to.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:29:33 PM   
slavetaboo


Posts: 408
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline 		I liked it.
wicked grin.

_____________________________

For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.

(in reply to tigerstyle)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:29:52 PM   
jimdandymagnum


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Well put fella!!!!!

Yes all of us f'heads out here...............this WHOLE THING is fatasy fullfillment!!!  We f'n LOVE our subs!  I would defend her and protect her until there was not a breath left in me.  If not for them we would be naught.  If you are truly submissive, you understand this.  I DO agree that the noun "MY" in front of the term slut, whore, cunt, bitch is essential....If they are submitting to me then they must be cherished and possesed by me, defended by me, respected by me.  Therfore...she is MINE.  Great essay!

JdM

"~When I was a child I parayed for a bicycle.  I soon realized G~d doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness"

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:32:32 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill

I, too, thought the essay was well done and clearly explained why he was using the names in the way he does. My only real criticism is that -- In my opinion -- he makes some very broad generalizations about the behaviors of men and women, e.g., "Men, myself included, are generally very one-dimensional. As you continue to get to know me, you will know who I am. It won’t change much....Women, on the other hand, are much more complex and interesting creatures than men." I look at men and women as individuals, not pseudo-stereotypes.
 
Just my .02 zlotys. Your milage may vary.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

i am just in one of those bitch modes now....habing blipped through trying to figure out girlfriend...and yes where do we bi-sexuals fit in? i mean people are just people generally speaking of course.....i used to get really stuck on the male.female roles

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:36:04 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jimdandymagnum

Well put fella!!!!!

Yes all of us f'heads out here...............this WHOLE THING is fatasy fullfillment!!!  We f'n LOVE our subs!  I would defend her and protect her until there was not a breath left in me.  If not for them we would be naught.  If you are truly submissive, you understand this.  I DO agree that the noun "MY" in front of the term slut, whore, cunt, bitch is essential....If they are submitting to me then they must be cherished and possesed by me, defended by me, respected by me.  Therfore...she is MINE.  Great essay!

JdM

"~When I was a child I parayed for a bicycle.  I soon realized G~d doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness"


yes i like the term my as in my property...
and adore my cunt, my holes......

(in reply to jimdandymagnum)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:37:32 PM   
KaylinSilverfurr


Posts: 74
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlterEgo69

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaylinSilverfurr

-Fast Reply-

This, was a beautifully written essay and I must thank you for writing it.
If I might have your permission to re-post it in my Livejournal? Espcially so that I can help facilitate some discussion between my Significant Other and I?

~Kaylin


Why thank you, how flattering! You're more than welcome to re-post it, provided that you credit me (AlterEgo69) as the author. Thanks for asking first!

A.E.


Of course!

I wouldn't dream of it otherwise! Thank you so much!

~Kaylin

(in reply to AlterEgo69)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:40:29 PM   
nwcutie102


Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		great essay.... the way i would want my Dom/boyfriend to treat me.....i would not change a thing! well written also.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:41:50 PM   
nwcutie102


Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		if i had a Dom.....

(in reply to nwcutie102)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What it means to call you BITCH! (An essay) - 1/25/2008 4:46:34 PM   
AlterEgo69


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The problem with someone saying to me "I want you to adopt this persona" is that he's saying he isn't interested in the real me. He's interested in me acting out the part of his fantasy girl. And I'm a real person, not just some warm body for him to use to masturbate mentally with.

Telling me that he doesn't care what I feel like, as long as I'm a good actress, is not what I'm into. I'm into emotional transparency and authenticity which is the exact opposite of the objectification used in having someone act out a role.  And probably why I don't do objectification, humiliation or degradation. I feel like I'm being compared to the porn actress in his head. And obviously I can't win over some airbrushed, surgically enhanced figurine who has multiple takes to say and do stuff just right.


I believe what he was saying was that what he wanted was for HIS submissive to OCCASIONALLY take on the ROLE.  Not that this was what he wanted, or even desired, at all times.

I could be wrong, but that was how I read it.


GreedyTop, you basically got it right. It's been very interesting to read the replies - it has made me realize this doesn't apparently come across as intended.

DesFIP, ironically, I am in strong agreement with your sentiment in favor of "being your real self", rather than a phony acting role - MOST of the time. In fact, I find one of the biggest challenges is that most subs have been trained by previous doms to assume what I call the Soldier Archteype - where they respond to whatever I ask of them with a very officious, impersonal "Yes, SIR!". The respect is flattering, but I don't want to have sex with a soldier - I want someone who can connect with me emotionally. It is for this reason that I tried to be emphatic in the BITCH role description that I want her to be HERSELF, and stay connected with me. This was inspired to a large extent by experiences with the Soldier type, which I don't care for as much.

So odd as it might seem, DesFIP's sentiments actually resonate with my own very well. She is correct that when I ask for the WHORE persona, I am asking my sub to detach from being themself, and take on a phony identity that I can think of as a different person. That's my fetish and I make no apology for having it, but it's also a very infrequently desired fetish, and I guess the essay should have articulated that better.

I posted this originally with no particular expectation, but seeing how others react to it is actually becoming a very powerful thing. Thank you all for proof-reading it for me!

A.E.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 40
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