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New To This.... - 1/25/2008 3:34:20 PM

MistressKaali

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/25/2008
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I am new to dominating. I love doing it, but want to make sure I do it properly. How did everyone else learn?

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 3:38:37 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKaali

I am new to dominating. I love doing it, but want to make sure I do it properly. How did everyone else learn?

I did what my gut instincts told me to do. Domination is a lust. It feeds something inside me. I had urges first, then later I learned what "S&m" was. I can't relate to it backwards -- ie, you like dominating, so you learn the acts that go into it. So I am not sure what you mean.

With regards to physical acts (strap on, whipping, caning, CBT, rope), I learned through a combination of trial and error (for the safer acts) and observation and mentorship (for the more severe acts).

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to MistressKaali)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 3:42:40 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

At a very young age I was Lucky enough to be taken under the guidance of several experienced mentors,some trial and error.take your learning process slow and relax it will come to you....bounty

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 3:46:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I learned the most from My first slave. Along with him, I've had great mentors and teachers along the way.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 3:59:22 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

I was an insatiable sponge.
I read everything from books, online forums and websites, and papers that submissives had written for the Dominants who were so kind to share them with me.
I went to munches and watched others play and conversed with those I found had something I wasnted to learn.
I learned from chatting with people online.
I quickly acquired mentors. Both male and female.
I learned from my subs and play partners. (both lifestyle and professional)
I experienced the bottom for myself.

Not necessarily in that order as a lot of it was going on simultaneously.
If you ever have any questions or need advice, feel free to email me on CollarMe anytime and I will try to offer what I can!!
And, welcome to the lifestyle!!

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 4:00:25 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I learned the most from My first slave. Along with him, I've had great mentors and teachers along the way.

Great line and how very true.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 4:01:17 PM

TheLookingGirl

Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline

I too had just the gut feeling of what to go off of. Anything else I've looked into or have just experimented.

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The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to MistressVnus)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 5:07:40 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
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Easy... Find a potential candidate (plenty out there) and start experimenting.. What do You love to do?? Take your pick?? Is it surgery You feel like practising? see fior a subbie with a fetish for nurses and such relevant, etc.. Dont forget to handcuff and bound the muggy before You start on him.. If its something lighter You like that's easely done again.. There's a subbie for every type of use and every type of taste, all it takes is passion and dedication to pluck him or she out of the pack.. Go through the menu of goods.

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Max: And loving it!

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RE: New To This.... - 1/25/2008 8:22:13 PM

jovonna

Posts: 27
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

In my local area--classes and training are offered. Something new, but worthwhile for anyone new to the lifestyle.

(in reply to petpete)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 2:44:37 AM

MadameCris

Posts: 50
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

I am seeking out local Mistresses to learn from. Finally, i have screwed up my courage to go beyond the internet, and into my local community. The classes are a great idea too. I have heard we have them here in Portland as well.

(in reply to jovonna)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 3:12:55 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Congratulations on Your new status MC

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Max: And loving it!

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 3:58:05 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKaali

I am new to dominating. I love doing it, but want to make sure I do it properly. How did everyone else learn?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_631409/mpage_1/key_search%252Cself/tm.htm#915248

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 1/26/2008 4:02:18 AM >

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<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MistressKaali)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 5:28:41 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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I learned flogging, caning, interrogation and cbt from my mother, who was one of the great Domina's of her time. Being a dominant woman came naturally to me, so there really wasn't anything to learn from that, other than to capture the flavor and reign in the spirit of who I was and who I was to become. I was like a wild horse waiting to be broken, and as each year passed and as I grew into what was to be my role, I learned to temper myself and quiet the beast that was within me. Today, I am who I am because of early extensive training and the ever watchful eyes of the woman who gave birth to me.
I wish you luck in your journey. It is the steps that get you where you want to be, and the wisdom to know which path to follow, all of which you will learn. Like the other's have said, trial and error.

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 12:26:50 PM

undinerising

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

That's why I joined these forums and a few others like them; I'm learning as I go, by trial and error and by observation.

(in reply to MistressKaali)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 1:21:46 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear MistressKaali, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I came up through the system where I was required to be a slave for a time. I took that time to picture what I would want in my own form of submission and my 'best Master for me.' I learned while I was in the slave position by watching every detail I could. When I did my transfer to Master in Training, I had my past to draw from, as well as mentors and teachers. I didn't stick to just one trainer, teacher and or mentor. Everybody has something to teach.
I continue to learn to this very day and expect so, in the future. Slaves teach in their own way, as I did and this needs to be acknowledged.

For me, I enjoy teaching. I have mentored and trained many Dominants through the years. And, in doing so; I ask the novice Dominant to picture themselves King/Queen for a day and how would they wish to be pampered and or served. What authority figures in their life do they admire and wish to copy and or be like. We, in general have individuals that inspire us and we have a sense of 'wishful thinking'; e.g. I wish to be more like HRH Princes Diana, or Lady Margaret Thatcher, etc. What might be your desired epitaph? How would you wish to be remembered? In such questions, to define your Dominant style and desired reputation and the end goals to which would define your personal standards to happiness.

Although technical skills are extremely important--anybody can be a technical whip/cane master but, it requires more to be a Master/Mistress and or Dominant. It really is a collection of many hats we wear in life and in leadership. How you identify your Arch-type; e.g. Lady, Warrior, Guardian, Healer, Teacher, Defender of those in slavery, etc. Will help define your personal brand of Domination.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 1:28:55 PM

DominaRapport

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/22/2008
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Follow your gut, your loins, or the evil little voice in your head you should not normally listen to. If something strikes you as interesting to do, do it!(Within common sense of course, I do not reccomend dipping your favorite sub bodily into molten chocolate, as appealing as it seems.)

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RE: New To This.... - 1/26/2008 7:41:28 PM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

Greetings,

Read as much as you can...books, forums, websites.

Experiment with a willing victim....errrr....partner.

Trust your instincts.

Be safe.

Best of luck to you!

~Kara

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"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to MistressKaali)

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