RE: Hair-ed Limits...

RE: Hair-ed Limits... (Full Version)

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Greylynn -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 6:56:08 PM)
The morning of our wedding it went from shoulder length to short and spiked on the top and buzzed in the back. Imagine his suprise when I came down the isle. My styliest was postive he'd come and kick her ass. When I have it long I can start out with held back by combs, then up in a pony tail, twisted with sticks through it, clipped up in a bun, then barretts holding it back....all in the course of an 8 hr day. Or my glasses are on top of my head holding the sides out of my face. I can't keep it up any anyone style for all that long before it starts to free itself or my head starts to ache due to the pressure of how tight it is to keep it from falling. I cannot stand to have it hanging in my face. When it's short it has to be trimmed and thinned every two weeks. No matter what length, I shed like crazy. It's very thick and slightly curly. I'm always picking stray curls off my clothes, brushing them off my desk. The shower drain has to be cleaned out after each shampoo. It grows sooo fast that a crappy cut doesn't upset me because in a few weeks it will have grown out. He would rather I keep it long but I can only handle it for so long and go get it cut off again. I have promised to never go as short as the wedding day though.

Rayne58 -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 8:44:04 PM)
fast reply A hard limit would be for me to have to grow my hair. I've had short hair since I was 17 (imagine a David Bowie mullet circa 1973) [:D] Since then it has been short and spiky on top and thinned down into the neckline. I have grown it longer on top in the 4 years since Sir and I have been together, so that He does have something to grab on to [;)] I have it cut every 6-8 weeks mainly to regain some control over the thickness.

adoracat -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 8:47:28 PM)
~~fast reply~~ i read the entire thread. and yeah, i'm one of the "please dont ask me to cut my hair" crowd. there are a few reasons, in my case. the first being that i have cut my hair sleepwalking, twice. to the point that it had to be in a buzzcut from well-past shoulder length...the last time, Satan got me convinced to dye it blue since it was short anyway, and she knew that if it was humanly possible that i would never have my hair that short again. pictoral proof: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/pawprints/catpics.html yeah, me in all my glory, before i lost a few more pounds. heh. and yes, if asked WHY the blue hair....i would tilt my head to the side and respond in a VERY airheaded vapid tone "because it matches my caaaarrr!" (Fal would laugh himself silly every time he saw me do it, too.) the second is that Daddy likes my hair longer, and asked me not to cut it besides trims. Satan (who is my grown kiddo) trims my hair when it needs it, and i trim hers. we're partners in this growing-the-hair thing. [:)] the third reason is that LordFallcon asked me in november a year ago, that i please not cut my hair again, that he always loved it longer. and how could i break a deathbed promise? i promised to keep it long as long as it was healthy and looked nice. it still does. i made the decision to not color it any more, so that's interesting, but all in all i'm happy with it. i've had my hair very short, i've had it past mid-back length, and all in all i look better with it longer. if Daddy asked me to keep it at a specific length, i would ask him to please let me honor my promise to Fal, but if he really wanted it that specific length, i would bend to his wishes if he insisted, but i would also tell him that i was not happy about it. and probably pout. kitten, whose Daddy loves her hair longer, and thinks the silver streak in the front is sexy.

hisannabelle -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 9:08:48 PM)
quote: I was surprised to see posts from Annabelle in agreement, considering I enjoyed her original post on this thread as well. I'm sorry I didn't laud you before in praise in an immediate reply, but I thought your post was insightful, I just thought the other person had gotten deeper to the crux of the question I was proposing. greetings forcefulhands, perhaps i didn't understand the crux of the question. nevertheless, thank you for the compliment. the reason i took issue with the way people who have not agreed have been responded to is just that while i personally agree with what posters such as ownedgirlie have said, and that's where i stand, and it's difficult for me to truly get what red and darchchylde and others have said - to me, the thought and time they have put into trying to explain where they are coming from is tremendously insightful. i've struggled with this on other threads because our relationship is structured differently (although not better or worse) and i have a very hard time wrapping my head around the kinds of viewpoints they've expressed. but i think they've done extremely well at expressing them, and it has personally made me think deeply outside of my own box, which i appreciate. i feel that all of nothing4ever's posts and a few of yours have devalued the effort they've put into explaining their experience, which is no less than the effort i put into explaining my own. respectfully, annabelle.

darchChylde -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 9:26:58 PM)
hisannabelle, i think the main difference between you and myself is that you entered your relationship with no need or desire to have limits on your end; and that you were seeking, or simply found a dominant that saw such things as you did. i on the other hand, while i never actively sought a dominant, when i found Ma'am; i had to be certain that i had found someone who saw particular things as i had. That is the important part, in my opinion. While it is true that i believe i would not shear my hair off for a dominant; i took care to find one that would not ask that of me, thus sparing either of us the drama that would arise to my saying no to an order She gave. For i know that i would have difficulty denying Her anything She asked or demanded of me, so if it came down to it; i may very well submit were She to order me to cut my hair. That is my definition of a hard-limit in a relationship, at least for a submissive. To me, it is an pre-negotiated agreement between both parties that a submissive may trust their dominant to not order or ask for a specific thing as a condition of their submission. Thus taking out the need or desire to say no. Also, this is why i believe contracts should be regularly reviewed and renewed. Along with keeping such things fresh in both parties minds, it also serves to allow for an opportunity for hard limits to be discussed and/or altered. For many people, issues of hard limits will simply come down to the difference between being a submissive and being a slave. For most, all of these things are merely a matter of perspective. i believe D/s should be treated like religion: learn all you can, keep what works for you and toss out the dross. Seperate the wheat from the chaff, if you will. Sincerely, oren edited due to further thoughts on the topic

hisannabelle -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 9:36:53 PM)
greetings oren, thank you. i understand where you are coming from - it's different things we're seeking in terms of compatibility. i've come to accept that there are some wonderful people here who have really good relationships and do things differently - and learning more about how you and others feel about this stuff does help me to think outside the box, so to speak :) it's a good learning experience for me because i am so used to how we do things that i can get a little too set in my ways sometimes :) edited to add: i love what you edited into your post :) that's how i feel about religion, coincidentally (although i've found that quite a lot of people disagree with us there). respectfully, annabelle.

juliaoceania -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 10:54:39 PM)
quote: So, question, girls: Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle? At this point I would do so, under duress, but I would let him choose my hair style. I have hair nearly down to my ass, and it will probably go gray in the next few years. In essense such an order would be depriving me of something that I love about myself, which is my long tresses. He loves my hair too, so it isn't an issue. He teases me often that he will shave it or rip it out by the roots if he gets the whim, but I know he is yanking my chain. It would be the hardest order I can think of to follow though

girlygurl -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/26/2008 11:07:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nothing4ever I agree, I have always wondered why people can get so caught up in their hair. Crying when they have it cut.. I even know people who have refused to cut it off for years. Why the attachment to something that will come back? We are not asking you to cut off your large toe, which will hinder you for the rest of your life, even if the relationship is ended. The hair doesn't harm you in any way to cut off. Maybe people need to practice some detachment... or maybe too many women rely on their hair for their femininity... Why is it too much to ask to chop a few inches of the hair, but to tell a submissive you want them to lose 50 pounds is something they will do without a second thought? Why ask why? Instead of negating others, just get that we are different. Oh, and by the way... being different is a very good thing don't ya think? [:D] girly (ain't gonna cut my red locks for no body)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 9:59:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands Wow, talk about a hot thread, all of a sudden. I never realized hair was taken quite so personally. Why do you think this is? Are you kidding me? I've had people gasp and cry when I tell them I am cutting my own hair. It's ridiculous. Hair really is taught to be a woman's glory, part of her femininity and power. The hetero scene often tries to exagerrate feminine sources of sexuality to harness it for the power of the other- corsets for the waist, heels for the butt and hobbling, and long luscious hair to grab and add to the objectification. On the other hand, I've seen a lot of masters who just give the blanket "don't cut" rule and it is really bad. It doesn't work for that chicks frame or face, or it really starts to look yucky over time and needs trimming- but orders and orders and they happily go along. Not to mention the ones who get stuck in their high school hair power glory days and never think to update it and don't realize how outdated they really come off. Like everything, it's another issue to discuss. While everyone's leaping around talking about safecalls and cutting limits, no one's really paying attention to the regular day to day things- like how hair is handled. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1141015/mpage_1/key_hair/tm.htm#1141040 longlocks http://www.collarchat.com/m_1119584/mpage_1/key_hair/tm.htm#1119597 hair or not http://www.collarchat.com/m_280141/mpage_1/key_hair/tm.htm#280151 hair removal http://www.collarchat.com/m_223800/mpage_1/key_hair/tm.htm#223809 hair Hair/shaving A hairy issue... Long Hair

swtnsparkling -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:04:31 AM)
quote: A hard limit would be for me to have to grow my hair LOL!!! because I said the exact same thing once. it is now to the top of my shoulders

juliaoceania -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:11:44 AM)
quote: Like everything, it's another issue to discuss. While everyone's leaping around talking about safecalls and cutting limits, no one's really paying attention to the regular day to day things- like how hair is handled. Caring for long hair has its good and bad points... bad point, I have to spend lots of money on shampoo and conditioner without alcohol, I cannot swim in the sun with my hair (especially in a pool). It takes a long time to detangle. Over processing must be watched (avoiding heat implements). Good points, it is rather easy for me to style. I do not have to pay to have it cut, as I can trim it myself.

beltainefaerie -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:13:42 AM)
I would let my dominant restyle my hair, BUT it isn't actually totally up to me. One of the very, very few areas my husband actually likes control is my hair. If Master wanted me to cut my hair, he would not have to ask or negotiate with me at all, but with my husband. I have to ask permission to cut it above my shoulders and that permission is very rarely granted. (I am actually thinking of asking soon, to get rid of these split ends and go for a new look for a bit. Especiall since hair theoretically grows faster while I'm pregnant, perhaps now is the time) Also, to the poster that said it will grow back in a short time, you clearly don't have very long hair. Mine is only at my shoulders and so that would be true for me too, but my companion has gorgeous hair all down her back and has been growing it for many years. To chop that off would at this point, I think, be tantamount to cutting off an actual body part for her. The same is actually true for my husband, whose hair is down past the middle of his back and is a huge part of how he sees himself. For many people, their hair is a reflection of non-physical characteristics as well and feels deeply intertwined with their personality.

DesFIP -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:17:49 AM)
My hair grows about an inch a month in hot weather, half an inch monthly in cold. So it's now at it's maximum lenth, about 4" above the top of my ass. It needs about six inches cut off so it doesn't wrap around my throat while I sleep or get caught in my bra when dressing. And mainly because the only thing I can do to it that doesn't hurt is braid it and then it comes out of the braid snarled. It will still be well below shoulder level with more than enough of it for him to grab on to. But most people I know can't grow their hair from their shoulders to their ass inside of a year. And if it takes five years to get it back to full length, then that's asking a lot from a person. You can effectively be telling them that you want them to look ugly to everyone for the next several years of their life. At which point the question is why you need to degrade people permanently?

darchChylde -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:21:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But most people I know can't grow their hair from their shoulders to their ass inside of a year. And if it takes five years to get it back to full length, then that's asking a lot from a person. You can effectively be telling them that you want them to look ugly to everyone for the next several years of their life. At which point the question is why you need to degrade people permanently? i have this overwhelming urge to hug you!!!

juliaoceania -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:23:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nothing4ever I actually get compliments almost daily on how nice my hair is. I just don't define myself by my hair. Like I said it will grow back! Alas we wont agree & I am done arguing on the internet. Smiles. My hair would take about 5 years to grow back, now before I would let someone demand I cut it all off, they better be the type of someone that will be around longer than it takes to grow back my head of hair.... I do not define myself by any physical attribute other than my intellect, at the same time, something that has taken literal years to accomplish, like growing hair to an excessively long length, shouldn't be changed for some fly by night relationship... and lets face it, most relationships in this lifestyle have the longevity of months, not years. Now lets say you had braces for a few years, and your dom didn't like your retainer so he ordered you to take it out... do you do it because you do not define yourself by straight teeth and you can always get braces again?

shavedandready -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:37:02 AM)
My hair is personal. I don't let many people touch my hair except to pull it. If a Dom comes at me with scissors I am liable to take of running, and never look back.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:48:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I do not define myself by any physical attribute other than my intellect, at the same time, something that has taken literal years to accomplish, like growing hair to an excessively long length, shouldn't be changed for some fly by night relationship... and lets face it, most relationships in this lifestyle have the longevity of months, not years. This is the best point I have seen made on this thread, in opposition to hair cutting.

sexyred1 -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 10:53:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hisannabelle quote: I was surprised to see posts from Annabelle in agreement, considering I enjoyed her original post on this thread as well. I'm sorry I didn't laud you before in praise in an immediate reply, but I thought your post was insightful, I just thought the other person had gotten deeper to the crux of the question I was proposing. greetings forcefulhands, perhaps i didn't understand the crux of the question. nevertheless, thank you for the compliment. the reason i took issue with the way people who have not agreed have been responded to is just that while i personally agree with what posters such as ownedgirlie have said, and that's where i stand, and it's difficult for me to truly get what red and darchchylde and others have said - to me, the thought and time they have put into trying to explain where they are coming from is tremendously insightful. i've struggled with this on other threads because our relationship is structured differently (although not better or worse) and i have a very hard time wrapping my head around the kinds of viewpoints they've expressed. but i think they've done extremely well at expressing them, and it has personally made me think deeply outside of my own box, which i appreciate. i feel that all of nothing4ever's posts and a few of yours have devalued the effort they've put into explaining their experience, which is no less than the effort i put into explaining my own. respectfully, annabelle. Annabelle, I am in awe of what you just wrote. I want to personally thank you for writing that and for your open attitude in trying to understand the effort that is made in trying to make others understand why a point of view is taken. I believe that many people sometimes react strongly to the way something is expressed and disregard the actual content. I appreciate it much.

undefined -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 1:04:39 PM)
My only hard hair-related limit would be being forced to stop changing it. I cut my hair differently all the time, I dye it different colors once a month (pink and purple are my favorites), and just really enjoy changing my hair. I think I look better with short hair, but currently I'm growing it out because Sire likes longer hair on girls. It's not a huge deal, as long as I can keep dying and styling it how I'd like. I'll dress however anyone tells me, I stopped getting piercings and tattoos because Sire told me, but I'd be VERY upset if I was made to dye my hair back to dirty blonde and just leave it straight and plain. He could shave my head except for a few sparce patches, and I'd make that sucker work and make it hot. Just don't make me unable to change it. The great thing about hair is you can change it. Cut it, it'll grow back. Dye it, it will fade or you can re-dye it. I personally can't understand anyone being too hard-limity about cutting hair short of someone that has feet and feet of hair and doesn't want to lose all the hard work they put into growing it.

MadRabbit -> RE: Hair-ed Limits... (1/27/2008 2:21:02 PM)
Fast Reply. I tend to take veto power with it. I know my weaknesses and I don't pretend I know the first thing about women's hair. She wanted to dye it blond the other week and I won't allow her because I really liked her brownish color and wanted to keep it at that. It hasn't been an issue. She's my slave and I have the right to decide and change any of her physical appearance. However, at the same time, she knows me well enough to realize that I am not going to shave her hair and make her look like a buffoon at college, because I need a power trip.

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