Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Any sub required to keep a diary?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Any sub required to keep a diary? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:08:59 PM   
shavedandready


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		My dom just ordered it, and of course I have my frist entry. What else do I write about? What do you wrtie about if you have to ekep a diary? My Dom will of course be reading the diary, cover to cover. So I wonder about secrets getting out. Of course I shouldn't have secrets, but it makes me wonder anyway.

Sorry, I'm just so new to this whole scene.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:20:19 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		He has required that I keep a diary, off and on, for the last three years. Because I still have issues with being totally transparent, which is a requirement of his, I now have to write every day so that I can learn transparency and so that things aren't left to fester.

As for secrets getting out, I would assume that depends on the nature of your relationship. If this is a brand new Dom then I would hold onto some of those darker secrets until such a time as you have made sure of your trust and communication skills to handle the secrets.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:20:37 PM   
DominaRapport


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		The point of keeping a diary for him is so he can get a better understanding of what goes on in your head. No need to confess what you did 7 years ago with an ice pick and a stray cat. But putting down random thoughts or concepts that occure to you during the day is good.
Don't write it directed at him, keep it as if it were only you who would be reading it. Let your thoughts ramble on paper so later on he can have the joy of untangling and trying to decypher what it all means. He'll probably want to discuss significant parts down the road with you.

_____________________________

Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell me about your sincerity, show me.

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:26:48 PM   
greyangelus


Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		A diary or journal like this could called "a window into the mind".  He could very be interested in finding out secrets but thats between the 2 of you.  Another view is that WHAT your writing isn't really all that important, its HOW you writing it is what he may be interested in. It might be a character test of sorts (akin to being in dropped in the deep end). and the list goes on.

Best advice, go ask him why he wants the diary written in the first place. It sounds like you don't understand why your being asked to keep one in the first place, and until you do, your not going be comfortable in writing one.  Even a blanket refusal to say why is still an answer.

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:36:04 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaRapport

The point of keeping a diary for him is so he can get a better understanding of what goes on in your head. No need to confess what you did 7 years ago with an ice pick and a stray cat. But putting down random thoughts or concepts that occure to you during the day is good.
Don't write it directed at him, keep it as if it were only you who would be reading it. Let your thoughts ramble on paper so later on he can have the joy of untangling and trying to decypher what it all means. He'll probably want to discuss significant parts down the road with you.


I agree. I write daily (for myself...as I'm not sub) and I looked back over what I write about to give you some examples.

~Feelings about situations (even the little day to day things like gossip at work)
~How you feel that day
~If your sleeping alright
~If your excited about something what and why
~A dream
~Your period
~A thought you had
~Someone who caught your attention
~SomeTHING that caught your attention
~Politics
~The stupidity of others (this takes up most of my time...lol)
~Something silly
~Something that made you sad
~A question thats been nagging you.

This list could get quite lengthy (I've been writing since I was 10 and told to keep a journal by a psychiatrist)....so we'll cut it off there.

Now that I've gotten all that out I should ask, did he give you any instructions with the diary? Does he want you to write strictly about serving him? About every day things? About anything you want? Your last sentence "...Sorry, I'm just so new to this whole scene." makes me wonder if he asked you to write about something in paticular.

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to DominaRapport)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:37:20 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greyangelus

A diary or journal like this could called "a window into the mind".  He could very be interested in finding out secrets but thats between the 2 of you.  Another view is that WHAT your writing isn't really all that important, its HOW you writing it is what he may be interested in. It might be a character test of sorts (akin to being in dropped in the deep end). and the list goes on.

Best advice, go ask him why he wants the diary written in the first place. It sounds like you don't understand why your being asked to keep one in the first place, and until you do, your not going be comfortable in writing one.  Even a blanket refusal to say why is still an answer.


Darn you for posting while I was writing...Idea Stealer...=P

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to greyangelus)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:40:19 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Personally I can think of only two reasons to keep a diary, with subsequent results:
1)  to write out secret thoughts, desires, fantasies, feelings, etc etc and to keep them under lock and key where no one will ever read it.  a)  pointless, or b)  therapy to get it out onto paper.
2)  to write out secret thoughts, desires, fantasies, feelings, etc etc for the Dom to look at and use to "get inside my head" and "understand me better".  a)  if you want to know something just ask, or b)  I will if you will

Can ya tell I'm not a big fan of diaries or journals? 
Only my $.02 and to be taken how you see fit.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to greyangelus)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 1:45:11 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Although i am not required to keep a diary or journal, i am often given assignments to write. i was nervous at first, but when he praises me for what i write it gives me confidence to show and give more of myself than i ever have. Once you start writing reguarly you should start to enjoy it, and unless he insists on lengthy entries, you really don't have to write more than a few lines at times when you don't feel like pouring your heart out.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 2:27:08 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		When you go back to him to clarify why you are keeping this diary, make sure you discuss repercussions.  My One and I have discussed me keeping a journal where I can write anything I want without fear or concern of his reaction or any repercussions.  It can be a place where, for example, you can get out something that is bothering you that you feel might be contradictory to your submission.

It's a free pass for me.  So you're going to want to make sure to clarify whether you're getting that free pass as well.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 2:45:02 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaRapport
But putting down random thoughts or concepts that occure to you during the day is good.
Let your thoughts ramble on paper

And this bit here is exactly why I'm so glad mine doesn't want me to do this! I abhorred that assignment in English class, I can't imagine I'd like it any better now!
I don't often have thoughts that are worthy of the pencil lead, so it saves us both loads of torture.
The ones who recommend finding out what he's looking for, and the consequences, make a lot of sense, though.

(in reply to DominaRapport)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 2:48:11 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		This could be a very enjoyable thing for you, and your master both. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk to your master through your journal....Watch how you grow and change through your journal..... I wish you the best with this and enjoy!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 2:50:50 PM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Dont ever be sorry for being new...and asking about things..its all apart of learning..In time you will have a better idea of how to go about keepig a journal and you can give adivce..:)  I keep a journal for my own mind...I tend to not let things effect me and I have learned how to use it as a sounding board to figure out my own problems...sometimes I write jokes or stories or just babble on.....That may not be what your Dom wants so either ask him to write some questions to help you start or just be yourself...I do how ever agree that if you are in a new relationship there are things you may not want to let out right away...:)Have fun and just write..:)Good Luck...Pamela

_____________________________

pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 3:04:14 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		If you need ideas for blogs/journals, if nothing else you can read what other people write in their blogs, there is an endless supply of blogging on-line.  But why not make it a personal experience?
I write about anything I need to.  At this point I write for myself only, but I still find it to be a good outlet when I need to: think, process, reach a conclusion.  Or just get the thoughts out of my brain.  When I have conflict it feels better if I can get it out.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 3:04:44 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		me too, and stuff like writing how my world has come to an end cause charles* a kid I had a crush on* said he didn't like me any more,  just make me chuckle now, for the sweet sincerety of the child I was. I really did feel the world had ended lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLookingGirl

I agree. I write daily (for myself...as I'm not sub)

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 4:12:51 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

me too, and stuff like writing how my world has come to an end cause charles* a kid I had a crush on* said he didn't like me any more,  just make me chuckle now, for the sweet sincerety of the child I was. I really did feel the world had ended lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLookingGirl

I agree. I write daily (for myself...as I'm not sub)



God I love going back and re reading. I used to be so much more detailed than I am now too...but I guess the shrinks idea worked lol. I used to write word for word conversations I had. I went to a concert when I was 13 (BSB...oh yeah!) and actually drew (terribly I might add) what the stadium was like. Though I had nicknames for the boys I liked in my journals. Gorilla, was the guy I was absolutly in love with in Jr. High.

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 4:21:33 PM   
viewfromthetop


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/21/2008
Status: offline 		I've been thinking of having my pet keep a journal. Obviously, this'll vary from person to person, but if it were me---I'd just want to know what he thinks about. What interests him, what's going on in his life, what his opinions on stuff are. I might also give him an assignment from time to time - "today, write about one of your fantasies" or "today, write about ____". But if I didn't specify anything, I guess I'd just be curious to see what interests him enough to merit writing about.

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 4:43:12 PM   
fasn8nsub


Posts: 78
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		my Master has me keep a journal so He knows what moods i'm in and what weighs heaviest on my mind.  i'm required to write reflections on our times together (we don't live together).  From these reflections He finds out what i was nervous about, what turned me on, what i liked/didn't like, how i felt while driving to meet Him and how i felt while driving home.  He has me describe things that He has no way of understanding unless i tell Him... the differences between different kinds of orgasms and squirting... what pleasure i get from serving Him orally... "girl stuff".  He will ask me to research a topic of interest and that goes in my journal so we can find it again easier.  Since i write my journal as if i'm the only one seeing it, and, like Cali, it's a free pass for me, i tend to write fantasies and tease about the things i'd like to do with Him just because i know it makes Him hard.  i'm a prolific writer anyway, so thinking of something to write about has never been a problem. 

~slavebitch

You can check out any time you like... but you can never leave.

(in reply to viewfromthetop)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 4:59:58 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I used to keep a regular journal, although, I have found that I don't have very much use for it anymore. Daddy required it's use while we were LDR, but it's been optional since then. Mostly, I used it as a way to purge all of the feelings that I had going on, but sometimes He would assign what I called a "guided" journal. He would supply a topic and I would write about that. The topics ranged from my philosophies, fantasies, or just history.
 
I'm not sure how I would feel about being required to keep a journal if I didn't enjoy writing. I enjoy communication in any form and especially writing. So, it was a very enjoyable part of our life...and still is, sometimes. I've kind of traded in my journal for the boards, just because I don't have time to do both.
 
Ask your Dominant what his goal is in your keeping a journal. Is it to document your journey? Is it to get to know you better? Is it to help you communicate with hime more clearly and comfortably? Once you know what the goals are, you can point your journals in those directions.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to shavedandready)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 6:28:53 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I've never been required to keep a journal, but I've been writing all my life.   I've had my Dom ask to read it on different occasions.   At times, it's just a way of getting feelings down that I may not be able to or want to express out loud at the moment.   

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 6:52:24 PM   
collaredncontent


Posts: 81
Joined: 1/21/2008
From: GA, USA.
Status: offline 		This reminds me that I need to be keeping up with my own journal. I don't think any guy keeps a journal for fun, we don't really do that whole...word thing. I can write eloquently when given a specific topic to research and provide information for, but as for writing my own thoughts and feelings I do not do so well in. I just sit there with my fingers on the keys and a "durr hurr" expression on my face. And then after I make one post I forget all about the journal and don't update for weeks. I'm trying, I really am, it's just not something I'm used to doing.

-Brian.

(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Any sub required to keep a diary? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093