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RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 6:55:43 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shavedandready

My dom just ordered it, and of course I have my frist entry. What else do I write about? What do you wrtie about if you have to ekep a diary? My Dom will of course be reading the diary, cover to cover. So I wonder about secrets getting out. Of course I shouldn't have secrets, but it makes me wonder anyway.

Sorry, I'm just so new to this whole scene.

Sir has me do a daily journal. I type whatever I want to pretty much (as long as it's respectful). Sometimes I journal my private thoughts and feelings about life in general or about our relationship. Many times my journal contains vanilla stuff and other times about playing with Him, and/or fantasys I have about us.

I've never kept a journal or diary for more than a few weeks, so doing one every day for nearly a year is a big accomplishment for me. It's a great tool for me and Sir.

One thing I would suggest, is talk with your Dom about some rules regarding your diary. There was another thread about a sub keeping a journal and getting in trouble for what she had written.... mind you, I don't recall what it was she had written.

My Sir has told me my journal is a "safe" place. What this means, is that I can journal about anything I want as long as I'm respectful.... if my journal contains any "venting" or off color discussion (swearing) He just like a little warning.... cause usually I'm such a good girl!! lmao

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 21

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 7:04:52 PM

unforegvn

Posts: 159
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline

Write about how you feel about keeping the diary. Your thoughts give insight to what you can't say, how you are feeling at the moment and your reaction to events as they happen.

He will treasure these thoughts; hopefully not using them in a deviant manner :o)

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 22

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 9:50:41 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

As the others have said, depends a bit on what He wants. violet has been writing one daily for Master for over 4 years now. It began as mostly a reflective journal about O/our developing relationship, my learning as a sub etc. However, over time the need to write about such things has decreased somewhat, so it has turned more into a daily log of O/our activities. Has all sorts of practical purposes ... "When DID W/we buy that new printer?" ... the answer's in one of the little purple books! However, if something does come up, or if W/we have a long discussion about something D/s ... that goes in my journal and it is a "safe" place to say anything respectfully. Because I am also Domme, it is also an opportunity for Jay to express some things to Master too. Which makes it a deceptively complex document for a little purple book!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to unforegvn)

Post #: 23

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/26/2008 10:15:28 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
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It's not so much a diary for me but a journal, on days we don't see each other I write a journal entry and email it to him before I go to bed, I write about anything I am thinking about, how my day went. Pretty much anything that comes into my head even if it's a simple sentence. It helps keep us connected and let's him see that part of me that I generally keep tucked away but comes out freely with words. I really enjoy writing him my thoughts and it's also a place I can speak freely, something I can do at any time but if something is on my mind I find it easier to write it down. This is the first time anyone has asked it of me and I'm glad he did. I write in a diary/journal as it is, I have for years and I enjoy looking back at them to see where I was and what was going on in my life at diffrent times.

Wolf's denika

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 24

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 12:15:13 AM

lapresence

Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

My previous Master had me keep a journal, and I wrote about anything and everything. For me, my moods bled into my journal entries, and he actually called me at one point and took me out to lunch, absolutely no play. And he said that my journal entries were oozing depression, and I hadn't even been aware of it. I'd thought I'd been keeping my journal upbeat. So we had a really long discussion and he set some goals for me that kicked me out of my funk. I think, as others said, that it helps one's Dominant get to know you and how you think.

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 25

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 12:35:26 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

We did this for the first four months or so, however since i've moved i stopped doing it........The way we would do it is i could write whatever i thought/felt in the journal and there'd be no reprocussions for it. However, that didn't mean it wouldn't be discussed. The way it started for us was one night we were talking about something and we discovered we have very different communication styles...i'm very much a processer.....The process is where i learn the most..... (go figure, huh?) and He's not....So, he kept only hearing what i'd say at the beginning and hold on to that and try to act accordingly and it just messed things up a lot for us...So, this was one way that we eliminated that difficulty...i really wrote about whatever i was thinking/feeling/doing at that moment...Sometimes i just bitched about the cat....
Good luck and remember to do what works for the two of You.

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to lapresence)

Post #: 26

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 3:09:55 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

When you go back to him to clarify why you are keeping this diary, make sure you discuss repercussions. My One and I have discussed me keeping a journal where I can write anything I want without fear or concern of his reaction or any repercussions. It can be a place where, for example, you can get out something that is bothering you that you feel might be contradictory to your submission.

It's a free pass for me. So you're going to want to make sure to clarify whether you're getting that free pass as well.

Cali

That is very important indeed. Opening up shouldn't lead to punishment. Else it will lead to the opposite.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 27

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 5:12:35 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shavedandready

My dom just ordered it, and of course I have my frist entry. What else do I write about? What do you wrtie about if you have to ekep a diary? My Dom will of course be reading the diary, cover to cover. So I wonder about secrets getting out. Of course I shouldn't have secrets, but it makes me wonder anyway.

Sorry, I'm just so new to this whole scene.

When Master Wolf and i first started out over 6 years ago and lived quite a distance apart, i would keep a journal, making MANY entries in a day ... questions, feelings, thoughts, fears, etc. This aided Him in getting to know what "i" knew, where i was coming from, etc. Then W/we'd talk about things i wrote. It was, for U/us, a wonderful way to get to know one A/another, as well as for me to get to know myself.
Now, i write 1 entry daily, still about my thoughts, feelings, questions, fears ... but also as a kind of "testimonial" to Him and the life He has given me.

_____________________________

princess
"...slave isn't just a word - it's who and what i am ... walking forever in His light and seeking shelter in His shadow"
http://absoluteslavery.com

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 28

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 9:23:23 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Reposted:
I think females in general really like journaling- it lets them say "lookit me!" without actually having to say it.

But I think too often submissives become dependent on the journal, RATHER than using it as a launchpad into more meaningful and direct contact. If the dom doesn't take the impetus to bring up issues in person, I find that the issue doesn't really get raised at all- leading the sub to think that the dom doesn't care or isn't interested, rather than simply directly bringing it up.

I also feel it raises too many expectations- if a dom misses a reading or doesn't give some feedback on it, subs often begin to feel let down or insecure.

I think encouraging someone to express themselves through writing is a fabulous idea. But it should not become a crutch or substitute for actual discussion of issues, and should not become a burden or symbol of attention for the dominant to take on.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1352137/mpage_1/key_journal/tm.htm#1353043
Keeping a journal?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_324861/mpage_1/key_journal/tm.htm
Journaling for subs

http://www.collarchat.com/m_496605/mpage_1/key_journal/tm.htm#496785
Keeping a Journal

http://www.collarchat.com/m_563275/mpage_1/key_journal/tm.htm#563324
slave journaling

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to wolfsprincess)

Post #: 29

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 9:28:18 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I've kept journals/diaries ever since I learned how to write. I even have some ancestral diaries which are really fantastic and interesting to read.The one I am currently writing is online and accessible to R but I wrote before him, and I will write after (if there is an after) him too. I write for myself. He likes it for several reasons, he likes my style of writing. I put a lot of my fictional erotica in there

. He likes that with one click he can see exactly how I am feeling, that is important because there are a few things I am seriously reluctant to verbalise even to him.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 30

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 9:57:32 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

I've had sub's keep a journal. If she does it properly, it gives real insight into her needs and desires. Part of being a submissive is letting the DOM know all your dark secrets. A ture sub surrendes her mind as well as her body.

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 31

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 12:56:26 PM

porcelain26

Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

in my first relationship, i kept a journal in part because my Owner wanted it and also because i really like writing. i'd write about anything from what i did in school that day to some nasty story about some poor girl getting kidnapped and raped hehehe. when the relationship got more serious, He would give me specific things to write about (some deep-seeded fantasy or sexual encounters i had), and then after we signed our contract, i would write about being with Him...or not being with Him....the things we did together and how i felt about it. i would write about my interpretations of our relationship and so on. i loved doing this because He was very much interested in figuring out new and more evil ways to control me and this gave Him a red carpet entrance into the most sacred and dark parts of my heart and mind. But i also knew that i could trust Him with anything i wrote or said and nothing i ever wrote in my journal lead to me being punished...EVER. even if i wrote about how pissed off at Him i was for something that had happened.

(in reply to AMaster)

Post #: 32

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 3:53:35 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

<FR>
After 2 pages here and how many other threads on journalling/diaries, I have a question:
Doesn't anyone talk anymore?

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to porcelain26)

Post #: 33

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 3:57:18 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Doesn't anyone talk anymore?

Of course people talk.
There are also people who thrive when they have an outlet for self-expression.
I can blog and express things I wouldn't otherwise express. Sometimes things have to escape my brain or I get bogged down by them, for me it's a form of stress-relief. And sometimes when it's a stream of consciousness outlet it is interesting to see exactly what spills out. I'm not sure there is another person alive who would welcome all of my rants/raves or that I'd evern want to share all of them with another person.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 34

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 5:30:01 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

Doesn't anyone talk anymore?

He and I talk every day, if we time it right we can get some time in the morning, but we always talk every night. The night I was too tired to wait up for him (he is two time zones away), and I did not want to disturb what he was doing by calling, I popped off an email explaining my exhaustion and I went to bed. I woke up in the morning to an email saying "had a good day, but no call from Cali?"

I think my journaling is actually a public service that is immensely appreciated by those that don't have to listen to me motoring on and on and on. LOL.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 35

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 6:44:09 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

<FR>
After 2 pages here and how many other threads on journalling/diaries, I have a question:
Doesn't anyone talk anymore?

Sure. I find I express myself best through the written word, and then use that as a launching pad for discussion. I do this in my vanilla relationships also - if I'm upset about something I'm much more apt to be logical and rational when typing my thoughts out rather than being so emotional I can't get my thoughts out. So I send emails, then talk. It's just a tool to facilitate communication, not a replacement for discussion.

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 36

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 6:45:37 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

think my journaling is actually a public service that is immensely appreciated by those that don't have to listen to me motoring on and on and on. LOL.

LOL! I never thought of it that way. Too funny!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 37

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 8:28:02 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

<FR>
After 2 pages here and how many other threads on journalling/diaries, I have a question:
Doesn't anyone talk anymore?

Of course! For U/us, the journal can be a prelude to discussion ... or the summary of a discussion that arose spontaneously. Neither Master nor i do much work outside the home at the moment, so W/we're around each other all the time ... there's lots of talking! It's almost a relief to have a quiet moment to write my journal LOL!

violet[A] aka Maam Jay

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to littlebitxxx)

Post #: 38

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 8:59:57 PM

wrad

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

In the later years, many women we trained were menopausal or post-menopausal, un-collared but wishing desperately to explore their sexual submissiveness. We believed, and believe, it is important for such women to encourage and nurse their vanilla arousals during their working day, thus helping to give themselves intense cums each evening.
The women were obliged to record each arousal and the cause, and of course, each cum. The 'net was not about in those days and the reports were posted to us twice weekly. We replied weekly with encouragement and a task.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 39

RE: Any sub required to keep a diary? - 1/27/2008 9:14:13 PM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shavedandready

My dom just ordered it, and of course I have my frist entry. What else do I write about? What do you wrtie about if you have to ekep a diary? My Dom will of course be reading the diary, cover to cover. So I wonder about secrets getting out. Of course I shouldn't have secrets, but it makes me wonder anyway.

Sorry, I'm just so new to this whole scene.

Helloshavedandready. Write about anything that tickles your fancy. There will come a time when it is next to impossible to resist the temptation of using your diary to manipulate your dom...

I do not ask for a diary and if the sub wants one, it is on the strict condition that I am never to be asked to read it. Different strokes and all that. RL.

(in reply to shavedandready)

Post #: 40

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