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an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 10:23:09 AM

Onmyknees4YouSir

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

i questioned someting my Master did last night and and He was very upset with me. it was a trust issue i was concerned about although i now realize i was being ridiculous! i am ashamed to say exactly what it was all about. He is punishing me in a most upsetting way! He said part of my punishment is that He will not treat me as His slave until i crawl to Him on my hands and knees and beg His forgivness. The only thing is He will decide when that day will be! He calls me by my name now and i can't believe how unsettling that is! i must make my own decisions and am free to do as i please! He has said he is not abandoning me and i know that is true but i feel this is a most unbearable punishment for a slave! Can anyone help me through this?? i still plan to serve Him like i do throughout my days. We don't live together but live just towns apart.

< Message edited by Onmyknees4YouSir -- 1/27/2008 10:29:57 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 10:50:29 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

If you choose not to treat this as an opportunity to run amok (amok, amok, amok!!!), which i assume you do not; i would recommend that you continue to follow those protocols set up (if any) that do not involve your Master's presence or feedback. In my opinion, this will help you hold your mindset as a slave.

Beyond that, contemplate what being his slave means to you; maybe writing all your feelings and thoughts in a journal. Also, you can continue in this vein by looking at where you are now compared to where you were before you were his slave; or simply deeply consider the act that brought this punishment about and how you can keep it from happening again, taking care to look at it from both your and his perspectives.

When you finish this writing, looking at everything from every angle; let him know about it without asking him to read it. Let him make that decision without any prompting from you; whether he reads it or not, he may take into consideration that you really do understand what you've done and what the relationship really means and entails to all parties involved.

Remember, i am not a slave, nor do i understand the Master/slave relationship or the slave mindset; so this all may mean absolutely nothing and not help you in any way.

Hopefully, one way or the other; i hope things work out for you and your Master.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 2

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 10:56:25 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well, I have to say on the surface it seems puzzling- since it sounds like he didn't address any of the trust issues involved and is just shaming you and scaring you into obeying without having and real security. This entire punishment is pretty extreme in itself and would cause immense stress to any solid relationship- how secure you are guys really together? Will you feel more connected after this?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 3

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 11:15:08 AM

venusinblu

Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

have you done any talking together about your infringement at all? Did you both discuss it after the fact and prior to the punishment being handed down?

I have only incurred my Master's serious wrath once, and even then, (and what I did was so totally dumb, I deserved the Princess Dumb from the Planet Dumb 'Award for Dumbness' ) he discussed his displeasure with me rationally and with love in his heart - I was sent away for a couple hours to 'think' about what I'd done, and then I was to return to him to discuss my feelings about it - He examined his own feelings about my infringement, and in a state of calmness, he made his judgement and decided that as I understood the ramifications of what I'd done, how much my actions had hurt him, and that it was unlikely to occur again; no further punishment was required.

I hope that after your Master calms down he will seek inside his own heart for his answers and for your sake, bring your banishment from his protection to an end soon.

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 4

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 11:17:55 AM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

I find this concerning. If I am correct (and please let me know if I'm not!) this is a rather new relationship for you. His withdrawing of himself from you is bound to harm the relationship - if you had trust issues to begin with, how is this going to help it? While I can see him being upset for you not trusting in him, I believe in giving my partner the 'benefit of the doubt' and I expect it in return. I expect my partner to know that I am not being manipulative or demanding (or some such thing) when expressing myself about an issue. If I ask to talk about something that's bothering me ... it needs to be discussed. Of course, it's up to him when and where we discuss it, and I would be respectful. But to be punished for expressing a concern, silly as it may sound, is just going to make you clam up in the future and swallow it. Which makes things fester.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 5

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 11:33:57 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

i cant imagine someone punishing you for not trusting them ... disobeying yes ... not being able to trust them ... hmmm ...

As for living through the punishment, treat it as an opportunity to actually see what you are without him, if you are better without him (which I would be if it was me) use that information wisely ... if you are a better person with him ... work out ways that you can communicate effectively with eachother .. because i have a feeling that issues of doubt .. will be frequent in your dynamic

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Bound2One)

Post #: 6

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 11:35:15 AM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings onmyknees,

put me in the "unsettled" camp. if i have done something wrong, usually we end up just talking it out. i know that if i ever did something that truly, deeply displeased him, the most likely consequence would be release. so i can't really relate to the same situation of punishment that you have described. but i do worry that he seems to not have discussed things with you or dealt with the trust issue that caused the problem in the first place.

i think the suggestions people have made for getting through it are good ones, and perhaps you could ask him to talk about those things as well (either during or after the punishment). personally, this kind of situation would not work for me, but i wish you all the best in making it through.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Bound2One)

Post #: 7

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 11:39:44 AM

MollyTroubletail

Posts: 44
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

A "punishment" like that would undermine my confidence and submission to such a person to the point that I would have to leave, letting him play his cat-and-mouse games by himself. Trust and Security are both needed in order for someone to give up their life choices to another human being. Unless I've completely misunderstood the basic dynamics of your relationship, I'm going to be blunt and say that in my opinion you're being jerked around and is not in your best interest.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 8

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 12:18:41 PM

venusinblu

Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

I noticed in another thread that you are wearing his 'training' collar - so, surely you're allowed to make mistakes during training and not be treated so harshly?

Also, he is going to read what you've said here? Will this help or hinder your case?

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 9

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 12:33:55 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

Bit hard to judge about her Owner when we don't know the cause of this all. Perhaps his temporarely release is a fitting thing to do, so she can think about it?

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to venusinblu)

Post #: 10

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 12:58:46 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onmyknees4YouSir

i questioned someting my Master did last night and and He was very upset with me. it was a trust issue i was concerned about although i now realize i was being ridiculous! i am ashamed to say exactly what it was all about. He is punishing me in a most upsetting way! He said part of my punishment is that He will not treat me as His slave until i crawl to Him on my hands and knees and beg His forgivness. The only thing is He will decide when that day will be! He calls me by my name now and i can't believe how unsettling that is! i must make my own decisions and am free to do as i please! He has said he is not abandoning me and i know that is true but i feel this is a most unbearable punishment for a slave! Can anyone help me through this?? i still plan to serve Him like i do throughout my days. We don't live together but live just towns apart.

I never could really understand why so many submissives and slaves freak out when they have to make a decision on their own. I may be owned property and considered a slave, but Mistress says one reason She chose me to be Her slave was my ability to run my life and make my own decisions without being skiddish about it. I'm very devoted to Mistress and I obey Her to the letter, but I just don't freak out when She tells me She wants me to make a decision.

My opinion to you, onmyknees4usir, is this: you're a big girl in an adult relationship. You are a grown woman living on your own (I assume). Don't be scared to make decisions on your own. How did you make decisions before you had a master? Quit freakin' out, apologize and accept your punishment, and learn from it so you don't make the same mistake again. If you want to best serve your master, put faith in his judgement and obey him unless his decision will put your mental or physical health in danger. Other than that, you choose to submit to him for a reason, so learn from your mistake so you don't make the same mistake again.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 11

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 1:09:58 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I have been punished as a result of trust issues before. Not because I distrusted, but because of the way I handled myself at the time. It's ok to have concerns in a relationship; it is not ok to behave inappropriately as a result.

And yes, for a day or so Master referred to me by name, saying if I wasn't going to act like a slave then why should he treat me like one. It was difficult to be thought of as such by him, but I also knew it was temporary and I could work through it and correct the problem. It's not the end of the world to be punished, even though it might feel like it at the time. Just know you have the ability to make things right. Instead of crying about how hard it is, you can use your energy to turn it around.

The difficulty is leaving things open ended. I would have stress with that. Meanwhile, I hope you are both talking through what caused this issue in the first place, and how you can better handle your trust issues. Punishment, in my opinion, serves as a painful consequence for wrong-doing, but does not in and of itself correct the problem.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 12

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 1:10:32 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

FR

This sounds like "how dare you question me!" kinda thinking... is this acceptable to you? Do your own feelings not matter to you?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 13

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 1:24:56 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onmyknees4YouSir

i questioned someting my Master did last night and and He was very upset with me. it was a trust issue i was concerned about although i now realize i was being ridiculous! i am ashamed to say exactly what it was all about. He is punishing me in a most upsetting way! He said part of my punishment is that He will not treat me as His slave until i crawl to Him on my hands and knees and beg His forgivness. The only thing is He will decide when that day will be! He calls me by my name now and i can't believe how unsettling that is! i must make my own decisions and am free to do as i please! He has said he is not abandoning me and i know that is true but i feel this is a most unbearable punishment for a slave! Can anyone help me through this?? i still plan to serve Him like i do throughout my days. We don't live together but live just towns apart.

Only part of the punishment? I'm curious as to the other part.

If you're free to make your own choices, and do as you please, then do some serious reflection on if the crime fits the punishment. The only time I could see seperation from the dynamic as helpful, is to make a slave reflect on her own choice to be in the dynamic if she were constantly bratty/disobediant/resistant. Even then not as a punishment, more as a 'time off to think with a clear head' kind of thing.
Another thing I dislike, no timeline for this punishment. "One week without my dominance" okay fine, but to leave it open ended and continue to 'punish' you for however long he feels like it seems very unfair to me as well. Maybe he'll only make you sit and stew for a couple days and didn't say how long to make it have more impact. Eitherway it does not seem a fitting or appropriate reaction to an issue of distrust. If it were me, such a punishment would only make me less trustful and willing to be honest with the Dom.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 14

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 2:41:48 PM

Wisenlilminx

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

You'll just have to wait it out.

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 15

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 5:00:03 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onmyknees4YouSir

i questioned someting my Master did last night and and He was very upset with me. it was a trust issue i was concerned about although i now realize i was being ridiculous! i am ashamed to say exactly what it was all about. He is punishing me in a most upsetting way! He said part of my punishment is that He will not treat me as His slave until i crawl to Him on my hands and knees and beg His forgivness. The only thing is He will decide when that day will be! He calls me by my name now and i can't believe how unsettling that is! i must make my own decisions and am free to do as i please! He has said he is not abandoning me and i know that is true but i feel this is a most unbearable punishment for a slave! Can anyone help me through this?? i still plan to serve Him like i do throughout my days. We don't live together but live just towns apart.

I am allowed to say ANYTHING to my Master...AS LONG as I do it with respect. I have been corrected for HOW I have approached Him...but never FOR approaching Him. If you are being punished for just asking a question of your master...whether you be collared yet or not is a HUGE reg flag in my opinion.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 16

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 6:26:19 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Ma'am and i have this wonderful too, just five little words: "May i speak frankly, Ma'am?". When i say these words put together in that order, She knows i have something to say that either i'm not comfortable saying as a submissive or i have something ro say that needs to be said that may not make Her happy.

She will choose whether to hear me out then, or another time when She feels like it; it works pretty well for us. Maybe you could see if your Master would be willing to put something similar into effect.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 17

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 6:26:37 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Wow... when I was around 4 yrs old my father did something similar. I had reacted to something he did by shutting down, which he found unaceptable. For the first time I was no longer his laptop little girl and he told me that until I had to be the one to apologise. You know what? I did apologise about a week later. It was a long week but I could no longer hold on to my anger.
The odd thing was that although he accepted my apology, things were never the same between us again. Ever. Any trust I had in security was gone.
He tried I know. But for me, there was no turning back.
People who use that sort of punishment take their chances on the outcome. That sort of ultimatum would never work on me.
Good luck,
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 18

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 6:31:33 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Doesn't sound like you actually discussed the issues at hand, that would cause me more worry . Not dealing with something as important as trust and just dealing out a punishment doesn't help solve the issue, it just causes more. Just my opinion.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Onmyknees4YouSir)

Post #: 19

RE: an overwhelming punishment!! Help! - 1/27/2008 6:32:20 PM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

i'll be honest, when my former Master used that form of punishment on me, it use to kill me... However, after awhile i used it as a lil vaction and kinda enjoyed the time alone... He realized that, that form of punishment wasn't working so he stopped using it...

i am truly sorry that you are hurting... the punishment will not last forever, hang in there...

< Message edited by kittensmailbox -- 1/27/2008 6:34:45 PM >

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 20

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