Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Submissive Mistress


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Submissive Mistress Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 9:47:20 PM   
liminalRapture


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		I think part of my frustration with the OP has to do with the same dynamic when I see smart men dating stupid women.  A good friend is finishing his doctorate.  Brilliant man, with leftie-hippie parents who wanted him to look for an equal partner.  (I would NEVER date this man--long story, but not if he were the last man on earth, but I really love and respect him.)  Anyway, I met his girlfriend.  She is over a decade younger than him, dropped out of college to take a job selling bras at Victoria's Secret and I could count 3 ribs on each side through her dress.  She seemed nice, but a little vacuous and in no way capable of keeping up a conversation with us.  Her thinness is more important to him than whether she can carry on a conversation, whether she has similar values, whether her eyes light up with joy (you could never see that happening through the coats of make-up).   She is a beautiful foolish girl.

I was incredibly disappointed in my friend.   And a little angry (even if I'd never let him know it and only said "she's lovely").  Because even though this is the one man I can say I would never date, his choice is indicative of a trend that makes my chances of finding a true partner who can respect me much less.  When I finished my PhD (at age 29--so not yet over the hill), a friend gave me an article from The Chronicle of Higher Education that mentioned that women who have PhDs have a 5% chance of getting married.  Why should that SO hurt your chances of finding a partner?  I used to lie and say “Oh, I have a Bachelors of Arts from so-and-so.”  It wasn’t really a lie—I do.  I just didn’t mention any of the other letters.  I won’t play dumb anymore, but I have to fight my socialization to assume men don’t want smart women.  Especially when new research shows men really don’t want a woman who is smarter than him.  What can I do?  A partial lobotomy?  Drugs?  Why did my parents let me read when I was a kid? 

Of the 102 profiles that begin with "doctor" only 5 are women (and 5 are Dommes--not a single submissive woman admits to being a doctor of anything).  Why would we?  It just scares men away, because they don't want an equal partner who happens to surrender.  They want someone to take out when they feel like it and put her back on the shelf when they are bored.

It saddens me greatly.  And it isn't my friend and it isn't the OP--it is the whole culture that is telling men it is OK to make these choices.  And penalizing women who want to accomplish something and also want to find a partner.

"I hope she’ll be a fool.  That’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool” wrote F. Scott Fitzgerald, nearly a century ago.  And despite everything we've been through, I believe I would be happier if I happened to be a beautiful little fool.  And I am angry at a culture that makes me believe that.

< Message edited by liminalRapture -- 1/29/2008 10:03:01 PM >

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to liminalRapture)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 10:08:24 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorYale

There appears to be so much vitrol directed toward married men looking for a submissive, that I have been forced to consider the notion that American woman are relatively unsophisticated in their appreciation for enjoying the role of a submissive mistress to a married man.  This is quite acceptable in other societies, both European and Asian.  Therefore, I am left to ponder the fact that while submissives proudly proclaim they are not bound by conventional sexual mores, they are still constrained by conventional patters of relationships.  Those seeking a 24/7 relationship or a LTR seem, at least to me, to be wanting a marriage although calling it by a different name.  Where are there truly open minded, sexual and sensual American woman who would proudly serve as their Dom's mistress ? 


I read most of this thread, and I have to say that I do not know where you get the idea that because women are kinky and like to give up control over our lives to our significant other that we have no designs on living a traditional sort of life that is similar in some ways to vanilla counterparts. Yes, I want to be married again one day. Yes, the longer I am with my Daddy, I sometimes think about it being him that I do marry.

There have been many others that have stated why they would not want to be with a married man. I do not understand your hostility and disrespect of those who want a different existence than you can offer. I do not understand why you need to put down women that do not want to be a party to wrecking your home, hurting your wife, altering the life of your wee ones. I can only express the deepest pity for not only your wife, but any woman that would be unfortunate enough to become your submissive. You have very little respect for women overall, and you basically show a lack of respect for yourself in the way you choose to live your life.

I have a very good friend that is cheating on her husband with her dominant lover. I feel badly for her situation. I have never heard her express the things that you have..she hates that her life is inauthentic. What you are stating is that if we are unwilling to live inauthentically with you, then we are unsophisticated rubes. Perhaps I am unsophisticated, I am from a small town. I was produced from a traditional sort of family. i was taught cheating was a bad thing.

I am also a scholar, I am also on the short list to get into one of the most prestigious universities on the West Coast to study anthropology in their graduate program. Why should a woman like me (unsophisticated or not) settle for less than my emotional, intellectual, and ethical equal?

I didn't settle for anything less than what I deserve... and I have it. And he isn't hiding me from his wife.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/29/2008 10:10:26 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 10:35:30 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		How would he explain that to his wife?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia


If Asia and Europe are so great, try moving there. 

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 10:38:01 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

How would he explain that to his wife?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia


If Asia and Europe are so great, try moving there. 



He could always tell her that he had this deep desire to actualize his inner cheater

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/29/2008 11:06:48 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		What is sophisticated about lying and sneaking?  What is refined about being alone on holidays?  What is stylish about not being allowed to call if you want to talk and sitting around waiting for his schedule to be free?  What is classy about being penciled in and not allowed to fully be a part of someone’s life?  What is urbane about waiting for the message ‘we need to cancel our plans, she suspects something’?
Are you sophisticated enough to grow some balls and be honest with all the women in your life? 
Grow-up, quit yer bitchin’ and do the honorable thing rather than blaming women who have enough self-esteem to kick your ass all the way back to your wife.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 12:12:50 AM   
LadyLolly


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorYale

A reply to one and all.  I have been fascinated by the level of angst and vitriolic denunciations that have been sent my way.  Each and every one of you (well almost), have proven my point.  And so, we can soon dispense with this thread.  I shall remain on this site, occassionaly join in forum discussions and keep my eyes open for one who is unlike any of you who have chosen to answer.  I am of course totally fascinated by the fact that so many Dommes chose to respond with such bitterness.  I will have to reflect upon this and ponder as to the reason you felt so challenged by this posting.


Rather than strain yourself - why not just ask your wife...........

(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 12:20:36 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		OP, it wasn't a "challenging" post and there was no angst in the replies. You're just one more dickweed who wants somewhere he can plonk his dick occasionally, behind his wifes back. These girls deserve better than that. If you think that having a bit on the side is a sophisticated way of life, good for you. But don't expect everyone to agree with you.

I think a brothel might be more useful to you.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to LadyLolly)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 12:26:19 AM   
LadyLolly


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I'm not a Domme, and I don't feel threatened.  I'm just a single, fake, unsophisticated, wannabe Dom.  But I had an experience recently the good doctor might be interested in.


I'm not in the least bit threatened by him as a Domme - but I resent that he and people like him are lumped in with me and my family by people who don't know much about poly, or are against poly.  People only seem to see the cheaters like him who claim to be poly and not the families like mine that are stable and loving.


Ummm yeah, he's a DOM, but please don't let his wife find out.....she's liable to rip his joy stick out by the roots.......
PW'd dom.  Not even master in his own house. 

Sounds like poo, looks like poo, no need to taste it........ 

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 12:48:34 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

  There appears to be so much vitrol directed toward married men looking for a submissive

quote:

   I have been fascinated by the level of angst and vitriolic denunciation

Is this your ‘word of the day’ to show us your level of sophistication?
 
I don’t see any angst here, I see strongly worded opinions that don’t happen to agree with yours. 



quote:

   I shall remain on this site, occassionaly join in forum discussions and keep my eyes open for one who is unlike any of you who have chosen to answer. 


 
Oh, I can feel the  heat of embarrassment creeping across my cheeks that I have lost such a grand opportunity! 
 
I will however look forward to your every written word but only if you promise you will use ‘vitrol’ or ‘vitriol’ in every post.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 1:25:07 AM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorYale

A reply to one and all.  I have been fascinated by the level of angst and vitriolic denunciations that have been sent my way.  Each and every one of you (well almost), have proven my point.  And so, we can soon dispense with this thread.  I shall remain on this site, occassionaly join in forum discussions and keep my eyes open for one who is unlike any of you who have chosen to answer.  I am of course totally fascinated by the fact that so many Dommes chose to respond with such bitterness.  I will have to reflect upon this and ponder as to the reason you felt so challenged by this posting.

Not being a domme I cant speak for them,but I saw no one challenged by your post. To the point I saw people expressing their opinions about what you wrote. The only one I see challenged here is you. If you dont want to see what people think of what you write then dont ask the question. As for the bitterness you seem to think you inspired in anyone. Well dy I doubt you inspire much of anything in anyone. Lurk all you want, perhaps you shall learn something.


_____________________________

I'm the happy fascist slut.
awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09


(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 1:48:17 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		He could probably make an argument that he inspired bitterness in my posting - however it has nothing to do with his or my orientation ... it has to do with what he is doing to the term "poly".  And if he does make the argument that he inspired my bitterness, I'd have to respond that he merely triggered an episode in an ongoing issue with me - I want my family to be accepted and it's not yet ... people like him are undermining the efforts of those of us who don't cheat, lie or deceive our partners.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to scifi1133)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 5:43:35 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

OP, it wasn't a "challenging" post and there was no angst in the replies. You're just one more dickweed who wants somewhere he can plonk his dick occasionally, behind his wifes back. These girls deserve better than that. If you think that having a bit on the side is a sophisticated way of life, good for you. But don't expect everyone to agree with you.

I think a brothel might be more useful to you.


ROTFLMAO!!  MissMagnolia, you rock!

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 6:14:21 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		OK  now what does Vitrol mean? Saw it so often......

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 6:21:16 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~
To the OP, to make such a narrow minded blanket statement regarding women is absolutely bullshit. I really have to wonder why you are unable to accept the fact that not all women want to be second fiddle to a married man? Women are sophisticated irregardless if they live in Europe, Asia, America or Canada. A Domme who is living a poly relationship is just as valid as a woman who staunchly believes in total monogamy, that is their right and freedom to conduct their lives as they see fit. At least they are smart enough to know that the only constraints they have are the ones they themselves take on. What you see as a detrimental constraint om submissive women, these same women probably see as their freedom. Open your attitude and fully understand that not everyone is wired for open relationships, poly dynamics, or being a Dom's mistress. Admire the submissive women for wanting a monogamous relationship with a Dom just as you would admire a submissive women for wanting to be a  Dom's mistress.
btw: This is only my opinion. take it or leave it as it's no sweat off of my cajones.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 6:22:02 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		ask the professor who's lurking above again

*waves and says 'good morning, Doctor'*


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 6:34:43 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		HI Just
Vitriol means..... Bitterly abusive feeling or expression.
This Domme isnt bitter, isnt feeling abused either, I am  a mistress in the "literal" sense, plus a whole bunch of other non sophisticated labels. Oh Im also not american.
I have sent the 10$ bet I made to a womens shelter on behalf of all men that think sophistication means hes a stud...while making two women miserable at once.

Lucy


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 11:38:56 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorYale

A reply to one and all.  I have been fascinated by the level of angst and vitriolic denunciations that have been sent my way.  Each and every one of you (well almost), have proven my point.  And so, we can soon dispense with this thread.  I shall remain on this site, occassionaly join in forum discussions and keep my eyes open for one who is unlike any of you who have chosen to answer.  I am of course totally fascinated by the fact that so many Dommes chose to respond with such bitterness.  I will have to reflect upon this and ponder as to the reason you felt so challenged by this posting.


Hmmmmm....fancy and articulate bullshit is still bullshit.  Don't blame me for my viewpoint, though.  It's just my angst!  I just feel sorry for the woman that gets involved with you.

You should feel lucky that the dommes here decided to respond with bitterness instead of a myriad of boots to your ass!

All hail the whip-wielding, yielding to no man, ass-kicking American dommes!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to DoctorYale)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 1:03:42 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		*coughs* And what about us non American Dommes?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 1:10:17 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

*coughs* And what about us non American Dommes?


The American non-Dommes seem to be chopped liver too.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Submissive Mistress - 1/30/2008 1:25:27 PM   
sweetsub1986


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Tennessee
Status: offline 		Not only does a sub/slave deserve better than to be the other woman...the OP's wife deserves better than the scumbag too. 

_____________________________

I have found myself, good friends(family of the heart rather than blood), and an amazing love.
Proudly Owned by Gizzo!!!!!!!!

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Submissive Mistress Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094