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LadyHathor -> RE: Your physical appearance (1/30/2008 5:39:27 AM)
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ORIGINAL: breatheasone
Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?
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I hear you...but the thing is...the person IS less interested sexually, but not emotionally.
Wow, I had to really think about My response to this one--I did go back and grab your next response as it did throw a twist in that makes it more complex---so I will start with a response, then share a bit of Me--
If I was allowed to believe that attractiveness was one of the qualities he/she loved--and in some conversation that comment was made, I would feel devastated----because for all our noble platitudes, every one of us wants to feel attractive to some one--our society, well every society has defined attractiveness and not to be on the A list means well, we are less than---now add the fact that sex has fallen off adds a new twist---sex is not solely driven by beauty, if it was, only beautiful people would be having sex----I mean very old people have sex, so it is driven by the individual by a variety of factors---it could even be the way the spaghetti smells when he/she cooks it---who knows--so to Me the lack of sex is a cop out and demonstrates the shallowness of the statement " I love you but you aren't attractive--one hopes that love transcends looks---(heh human desparate fraility there)--so based on those two factors, by now, I would be pretty pissed---however, defining the role that sex plays and the driver for it for BOTH, I believe is the defining issue---IMHO.
Now given all that----I have watched those around Me, those here, those in our life and vanilla at this stage of life--I become at once amused and sad---Many men My age and older--seek the nubile---Domininants want the cute chick/stud, subs want a hot Master/Mistress---of course who would not want their self esteem validated by a sexy companion--there are times when I scream---IDIOT, it isn't about your cock, its about passion, commitment, fulfillment, laughter, love, devotion, ( I speak to male subs only), its about a relationship--once I wanted to be wanted for My looks, My body-been there, done that, bought more than a few t-shirts---and needless to say, have nothing to show for it---these days, I look for someone who wants the essence of Me--who thrills at My laugh, who loves to read aloud in the evenings, thrives on spirited discourse--yes sex is there, but not for the sake of sex, it is the manifestation of so much more than looks. I have come full circle in the desire, the belief that looks are nothing and yet there is always that small need to feel our partners are not repelled by what life deals us--and that he/she sees within most of all--for that to Me is what a lifetime is made of--all else is fleeting and shallow.
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