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RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 1/31/2008 2:20:41 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: diaperedbaby

I think there in lies your answer. The dynamics of wants is so vast, it is really hard to compartmentalize a specific thing.
I have met many CD'ers, TS/TV's and I can't say there has been any common denominator among them other than their mode of dress.

What exactly is a "mode of dress"

well around here cd/tv/ts wear what they think is expected of a girl. dresses, skirts, high heels, tons of makeup. they try to be as girly as possible. only thing is the cd-tv here dont shave legs...you see them at bdsm events with hairy legs and beard wearing a skirt.

< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 1/31/2008 2:21:01 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 2:11:19 AM

iwearpanties

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HERPET : thank you very very much i think what you wrote is correct for many male subs who crossdress but are mostly in panties and not always fully dressed. As for my self im in panties more then fully dressed here but i truely unstand just what you mean about the cuckholding and other things i dont think many see it as you have lived or expanled most see us as trying to be females when in fact many of us dont have that want but i know some do and too group all cd,tvs, tgs in one group is way off just as you wouldnt group all Mistresss / Dommes as one group

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Post #: 22

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 4:40:52 AM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: diaperedbaby

I think there in lies your answer. The dynamics of wants is so vast, it is really hard to compartmentalize a specific thing.
I have met many CD'ers, TS/TV's and I can't say there has been any common denominator among them other than their mode of dress.

What exactly is a "mode of dress"

well around here cd/tv/ts wear what they think is expected of a girl. dresses, skirts, high heels, tons of makeup. they try to be as girly as possible. only thing is the cd-tv here dont shave legs...you see them at bdsm events with hairy legs and beard wearing a skirt.

Might I suggest that you remove the TS from your original statement because being TS is not a mode of dress, it is in fact a much much more than accessorizing.

The statement you made here (highlighted above) where you include TS is also one that would be highly offensive to a transsexual. The outward expression of the TS is a reflexion of the internal person they are in day to day life & most express this in a fairly conservative manner. Generally speaking, a TS is not as flamboyant as you described unless in fact they are putting it on for some type of engagement that calls for over the top appearance. I know that I, as a genetic woman, will put it on thick when attending a fetish event or a party atmosphere where it is appropriate to be playful... why wouldn't a transwoman?

The blanket term TG has fused all the nuances of gender identity & expression into one tiny neat box that is supposed to fit everything. It doesn't... & it has caused mass confusion to those who attempt to gain better insight & understanding about the varieties that exist.

One of the main issues going on right now with getting rights passed for transsexuals who are in transition stalls in the process of being passed because people immediately think of the performers & flamboyant crossdressers. They don't understand that this is far removed from the general transsexual just living life, running errands & going to work as the target gender. They do have to do this for a year or two prior to permission being granted to undergo SRS (sex reassignment surgery). So lawmakers are fearful that by protecting the TS they are opening the door for the over-the-top expressions, the fetishist expressions & those who go manly one day & completely femme the next. "The Lipstick & High Heels Bill" one politician called it.

So back on topic... I am picking out bits & pieces of Lady Ellen's story & I honestly believe that your friend is not a heterosexual crossdresser... I believe he may have a bit more going on.

I'm going to read over each entry much more closely & form a private reply to you Ellen, if you don't mind.

Oh BTW, to know many transsexuals, hear there stories you would definitely know of one common denominator.... they are all extremely accomplished actors. They pull off a nearly 24/7 role of existing as a gender that they do not identify with. They do it so well that family & friends often have no idea that they were such when they eventually come out. Every TS out there deserves the highest honor every offered to a Hollywood actor because their performances outshine anything they every did.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 2/1/2008 5:10:27 AM >

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Post #: 23

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 5:48:03 AM

LadyEllen

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Be delighted MsP

E

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Post #: 24

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 9:37:01 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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pardon me but i have 30+ years experience in gender/sexuality i know all of the terms and i included TS because they still dress the same as cd-tv. i know the differences very well ty. my point was mode of dress is the same with all 3 involved here in toronto. i do believe i stated that earlier...and did not mean to be "in general around the world"

i used to be ts until i was diagnosed as intersexed (androgen insensitivity syndrome). i however have never worn skirts...but have worn dresses(leather at events) and am quite girly..but naturally girly and without the makeup. my everyday wear is simple t-jeans.

for the record ts-cd-tv are not a mode of dress as you seem to think i had said.

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Post #: 25

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 11:31:36 AM

diaperedbaby

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How about they all wear femine attire. Some try way too hard to complicate the simple.
I almost feel I may have to start a thread as to why I shave as well. No hairy legs here

< Message edited by diaperedbaby -- 2/1/2008 11:32:01 AM >

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Post #: 26

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/1/2008 11:37:14 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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quote:

ORIGINAL: diaperedbaby

How about they all wear femine attire. Some try way too hard to complicate the simple.
I almost feel I may have to start a thread as to why I shave as well. No hairy legs here

yes i did say that in my earlier post just different wording... "they try to be as girly as possible" and ya... try too hard ..specially with makeup...afterall not that many men have experience with makeup. since we were not brought up as girls. ive never worn it other than for picture taking. i shave...but im lucky because of my intersexed condition..i have hardly any hair. 3-4 times a year i shave my legs. my facial hair is almost gone with electro...i only had a little bit of chin hair there though.

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Post #: 27

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/2/2008 7:25:16 AM

diaperedbaby

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Some way over do the makeup. A little lip gloss and eyeliner and I am good to go. Not lucky enough on the shaving, have to do that weekly.

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Post #: 28

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/24/2008 11:15:46 PM

kinkyashley757

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To throw in my experience..

I crossdress to roleplay a character.. that of "Ashley". I enjoy BDSM, as I do in general, and just like the chance to be on the other end of my fantasies. Perhaps it's because I want to be on the total opposite end of the rape and torture fantasies I've always had growing up dominant?

Just my thoughts!

- Ashley

(in reply to diaperedbaby)

Post #: 29

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/25/2008 6:43:44 AM

Dnomyar

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Interesting post. As for the op. All you can do is to have a sit down talk and hope that the male can give a satisfiying answer. Even tho he knows what he feels in side he still may have trouble expressing himself. Try to have your talk without putting pressure on him or he just may get frustrated and clam up.

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Post #: 30

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/25/2008 10:46:46 AM

solvr70

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i was never much into CDing myself. but in terms of a scene, i have done that on request as an idea to enhance the experience, get more into the role (look more the part of Her bitch while serving in that capacity as well).

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Post #: 31

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/25/2008 12:20:50 PM

LeatherBentOne

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My personal opinion is that both males and females have masculine and feminine aspects to their psyches. Some are comfortable expressing them to the extent of cross-dressing. Some are not. I think it has more to do with feeling secure in who we are, whether or not we emulate what society says we must look like or not look like.

I have cross-dressed and will continue to do so, when the masculine side of me chooses to do so. For me, it's an expression of my "other side." However, I don't feel the need to do so. For those who do, they as individuals have the right to make their needs known, just as every individual has the right to do. I've met many CD's and find that the clothes they are wearing act as just an expression of who they are inside. But, clothes don't make the man or the woman. I think we all have aspects of both.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 32

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/25/2008 2:39:56 PM

Cissykay1999

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Hello Lady Ellen. I have done alot of research on the subject of crossdressing, although much of it years ago. What I learned is most (that being over half) crossdressers are not gay or bisexual. I can't remember where the study was done because as I said it was years ago. The men that are either gay or bisexual used to be called "Drag Queens." In my opinion, there is a difference. I can only speak for myself from here on, but my desire to dress I believe stems from the fact that in my business life, I was always in charge. I am a submissive by naturem and I think it's very difficult for a man to try to top a woman if he's dressed as one. It's my way of giving up control. I don't know if this is what you were looking for as a reply, but I hope it helps.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 33

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/25/2008 4:41:10 PM

PhoenixRed

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Joined: 10/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

I think the reasons you mentioned in your original post can possibly apply to many different people, in many different situations.

I'm wondering if crossdressing for your friend is simply just a vehicle to explore bisexuality? He is curious about sex with a male, which may be something, to him, only a woman does, so......he "becomes" a woman.

His dressing though has become destructive however. It is the discomfort you mention his wife has with the direction he is taking it in.

I would think he needs to deal with his home situation first before embarking on this new journey into his sexuality.

In any case, I'm going to bet he will find the reality of his sex life as a female to be very different from his fantasy imagining of it

I highlighted the point you made that I have been wondering about. Of all the CDs I know, about half are bisexual, having encounters with either men or women. However, a number of the rest, when they crossdress, are only interested in being with women sexually. Effectively then, when they are dressed they are "lesbian". Here's what I've been wondering. Since these men are pre-op or not considering gender reassignment at all, then sex with a woman is "technically" the same as their hetero interactions, just with a totally different mindset, while in their femme personna? Would this be a plausible line of reasoning?

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Post #: 34

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/26/2008 1:50:09 PM

zoescherry

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For me its quite simple..i dress to play the game im compelled to play with the kink I have. One lesson i learnt a few years back was to avoid trying to analyse my kink and just enjoy it for what it is, and what and who i am.

Im bi but not gay..how can i be so certain..well while i enjoy having sex with guys while im playing the woman i could no more enjoy an emotional attachment with them than fly to the moon. My passions and desires stay entirely on the female of the specisis..in fact that's how my kink works..while i can dress and maybe beging to look like a woman on ocasions i can and never will be the real deal...lol im certainly no woman trapped in aman's body. My humiliation comes in knowing that this one desire will always be out of my reach for the women i serve and im expected to take second best and slake my phyiscal desires with men..

Maybe its the game ive made up in my mind ..<shrug> who knows i just know im a bisexual character who enjoys sex with both genders.

zoe

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 35

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/26/2008 9:57:18 PM

Reigna

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhoenixRed

... Of all the CDs I know, about half are bisexual, having encounters with either men or women. However, a number of the rest, when they crossdress, are only interested in being with women sexually. Effectively then, when they are dressed they are "lesbian". Here's what I've been wondering. Since these men are pre-op or not considering gender reassignment at all, then sex with a woman is "technically" the same as their hetero interactions, just with a totally different mindset, while in their femme personna? Would this be a plausible line of reasoning?

Speaking as the genetically female half of such a couple--and as one who knows a number of women like me--I'd say the answer is yes and no. Yes, sex is technically the same; but no, the actual mechanics tend to vary in ways they probably wouldn't if the male didn't have gender issues. This can be very upsetting to a vanilla woman, incidentally.

The consensus among the women I know--the kinky and the vanilla--is that standard genital-to-genital intercourse is on the menu less often. Strap-on sex is a given; some like to play with vibrators.

The mindset is different, too. These men, after all, fantasize that they are female, and this too can be upsetting to a certain kind of genetic woman. On the other hand, if both parties are on board, they might pretend to be lesbians, or engage in humiliation games because he's such a sissy and enjoys being treated like a girl--penetrated, vibed, etc.

One result can be a lot of anguished attempts at coming up with a good label. Is this a lesbian couple? A heterosexual couple? Or what? A lot of us just label ourselves "queer" and move on.

< Message edited by Reigna -- 2/26/2008 9:59:43 PM >

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Post #: 36

RE: bi sub CDs; a question - 2/26/2008 10:26:09 PM

Reigna

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

But then its also only recently that he's had the freedom within a relationship to cd at all so it may be something he's always felt but never felt comfortable revealing still less seeking out, before - or it may be something thats evolved since he's had the freedom to cd; he's passed the limitation that prevented him from dressing, and now he's looking for something new thats "forbidden"?

And yes, the home situation is whats potentially at risk here and I dont want to see them in troubles. To me it seems crazy of him to be pursuing his desires like this and risking what is the jackpot prize for dozens of submissive crossdressers on here - a dominant lady who loves him and allows him to cd. Yet if its something he has to do then..... And so I'd like to try to understand it all better you know? Because as a TS friend of theirs, each seems to look to me for insight - and I dont have much on this subject.

E

I've seen a fair share of this. I'm not sure it matters whether they're "really" bi or gay or some other thing. What matters is the psychological makeup of the individual--how self-centered he is, and how urgent his needs. Some people will slow down, and others absolutely must go careening hell-for-leather on the pink toboggan. I'm not sure that persuasion and reason have much to do with it. Good luck.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 37

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