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RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 7:39:26 PM   
LivingForce


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		I believe I have always had a Dominant nature... but I think that my upbringing was a big influence on it.   When I was young even on my baseball teams I had to be the best... throw the fastest.. hit the ball the hardest... I never liked grounders or anything like that.. I was on the football team in middle school and had to be team captain... I never got it but I worked my hind parts off the whole time to become team captain...  I just blew my knee out and thats the end of football..  In working situations I always knew I could run and manage people better than most of the managers that I dealt with...  I managed my first store when I was 16 years old believe it or not...

I went to college and started really learning about myself.  About my Dominance and and embracing it.  I may be young and did have a dominant feeling about me when I was younger but my upbringing pushed me closer to where I am today just by the way I pushed myself.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 8:05:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well as I like to say- orientation is innate, expression of orientation is learned.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_744252/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#744266
Do you think you were "born this way"?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_691960/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#691984
naturally Ds?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499963/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#499979
Nature or nurture?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_307130/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#307130
Do you feel being a dom/me is innate or can be learned?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_461558/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#461558
hard-wired, why why why!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_143698/mpage_1/key_born%252Craised/tm.htm#143698
nature versus nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_760860/mpage_2/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#761518
born to serve?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_468650/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#468650
nature vs nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_35901/mpage_1/key_learned%252Cborn/tm.htm#35901
born or learned, how we become dom?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mellomyst)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: born into your role? - 1/30/2008 11:05:35 PM   
sirwankalot


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline 		I am not sure that I was born into my role but, I do think I was "trained" for it. I was adopted into a VERY strict christian household where face slapping,hair pulling,screaming,starvation,and severe beating with a 2 foot piece of oak molding was the norm. I remember a number of times where I would wake up and have to peel my under pants off because the scabs had grown over in the night.
I have managed to put most of that behind me and not use it as an excuse for failure and I am concidered to be very stable and quite normal but, try as I might, I cannot seem to form any aggressive tendencies and I am quite passive.

(in reply to mellomyst)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 6:35:31 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		I don't know if I was born in it....
Growing up for humans takes a few years. So we can't directly start a thing afther birth..unless some animals..that afther weeks...already matured.
But I can understand people feeling like they were "born" into it.
Often we look back and look for memories that we see as Dominant or submissive, and then say...I/i was already interested early.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to sirwankalot)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 9:59:09 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		~fast reply~
i don't know about anyone else, but when i popped out i had a collar and leash attached, does that mean i was born to be a slave?

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 10:41:15 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		All I know is that my being a dominant sadist is almost the exact opposite of how my family tried to raise me.

Thus, for me, there had to be something inside me, something innate, that helped me resist their training and become the opposite.

Understand that as you will.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to mellomyst)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 10:47:46 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		I have always been a dominant.  My earliest memories are of wanting to be in control.  My favorite TV shows were ones where the female was tied up.  (I was always disappointed when Superman saved Lois and untied her.)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 10:50:48 AM   
SweetieSub37


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/14/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with thetammyjo - I have been fighting my nature for my whole adult life and finding D/s was almost
like a feeling of coming home. It feels more natural than anything for me to be submissive, and like just me said
I can look back and see situations in my life that should have given me a clue. I have always been this way - I
just didn't acknowledge it.


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:00:14 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

~fast reply~
i don't know about anyone else, but when i popped out i had a collar and leash attached, does that mean i was born to be a slave?


there is a possability you are a cute puppy


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:08:57 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was definitely born with submissive tendencies.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:11:03 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

~fast reply~
i don't know about anyone else, but when i popped out i had a collar and leash attached, does that mean i was born to be a slave?


there is a possability you are a cute puppy



so this whole time i have been deluding myself?  ~sigh~  figures

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:12:31 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		and I, only trying to denude you.

We each have our born into roles, I suppose. Even on the Meta-level.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:12:54 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I was definitely born with submissive tendencies.


but how do you know? (wel in general)
People have no memories of the first year mostly...afther that so much happens..perhaps influences from the outside made you as you are.
And if we are born like this, we does it take so long that we discover it..and do something with it?
Perhaps one day they find a Dom or sub chromosome and then we really know.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:18:33 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

and I, only trying to denude you.

We each have our born into roles, I suppose. Even on the Meta-level.

Ron 


So that would  make me what, a denuded deluded puppy wench?

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:18:48 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I was definitely born with submissive tendencies.


but how do you know? (wel in general)
People have no memories of the first year mostly...afther that so much happens..perhaps influences from the outside made you as you are.
And if we are born like this, we does it take so long that we discover it..and do something with it?
Perhaps one day they find a Dom or sub chromosome and then we really know.



It takes a long time?  For some, I'm sure it does.  I know from speaking with a lot of people, however, that they recognized their needs in early childhood.  I did myself.  One of my favorite childhood games was to pretend to be a slave. *shrugs*

I, personally, doubt there were really any major outside influences that made this happen.  If I happened to be vanilla, nobody would try to psychoanalyze and find what outside influences made me associate that way on a sexual/relationship level. 

I concede there could full well be something I'm unaware of, but I don't believe there is.  I think it's purely something that occurs on a genetic level.  I can't even begin to back that up, but it's my theory.

But hey, if it turns out seeing something while I was 7 months old somehow snowballed into me desiring to be submissive, then what does it matter?

A wise man once said, "I am what I am, and that's all that I am."

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:33:19 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

and I, only trying to denude you.

We each have our born into roles, I suppose. Even on the Meta-level.

Ron 


So that would  make me what, a denuded deluded puppy wench?


for the first night, and we could improve upon that if we had to.



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:36:15 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		my poor little mind boggles at the possible descriptors that could be added

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 11:38:06 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I was definitely born with submissive tendencies.


but how do you know? (wel in general)
People have no memories of the first year mostly...afther that so much happens..perhaps influences from the outside made you as you are.
And if we are born like this, we does it take so long that we discover it..and do something with it?
Perhaps one day they find a Dom or sub chromosome and then we really know.



It takes a long time? For some, I'm sure it does. I know from speaking with a lot of people, however, that they recognized their needs in early childhood. I did myself. One of my favorite childhood games was to pretend to be a slave. *shrugs*

I, personally, doubt there were really any major outside influences that made this happen. If I happened to be vanilla, nobody would try to psychoanalyze and find what outside influences made me associate that way on a sexual/relationship level.

I concede there could full well be something I'm unaware of, but I don't believe there is. I think it's purely something that occurs on a genetic level. I can't even begin to back that up, but it's my theory.

But hey, if it turns out seeing something while I was 7 months old somehow snowballed into me desiring to be submissive, then what does it matter?

A wise man once said, "I am what I am, and that's all that I am."



I know that my earliest "kinky" thoughts were about chaining the neighborhood boys inside a shed until they agreed to obey me (I was 4). I was also very much in charge of my nieces and nephews (I had 13 of them) and of any friends who came over to play.

My mother always said "don't be so bossy" but I'd just at her like she was crazy.

Anyway I'm not going to get to those things on here but let me just say that my dominance was always there regardless of what my family did and I thought it was perfectly natural and they were all crazy.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 1:24:37 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

and I, only trying to denude you. [Emphasis added]

We each have our born into roles, I suppose. Even on the Meta-level.

Ron 


Excuse me, wouldn't this indicate that you are trying to clothe her? Technically? (Similar to "delouse" which means to un...louse...)

little miss literal

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: born into your role? - 1/31/2008 2:02:05 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

and I, only trying to denude you. [Emphasis added]

We each have our born into roles, I suppose. Even on the Meta-level.

Ron 


Excuse me, wouldn't this indicate that you are trying to clothe her? Technically? (Similar to "delouse" which means to un...louse...)

little miss literal


you would think so, but it actually is a french word, not latin.

think for example denouement or de galle.........LOL

so like so many other things it only has virtual threatening power, nothing happens when de womens are not close at hand.

Pierre

hold on no mail I know how to spell chuckies name.........it is a joke
after all, hes a frog aint he?  he aint chuck de gaelic

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 1/31/2008 2:05:26 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 40
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