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how did you know? - 9/4/2005 11:10:50 AM

Valhalla69

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline

Hi all.i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave? and also what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel? and whats the best thing you like about being a sub/slave?

sorry for all the questions but i am very curious and figured the best people to ask are the people who know best

Post #: 1

RE: how did you know? - 9/4/2005 11:16:43 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valhalla69

Hi all.i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave? and also what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel? and whats the best thing you like about being a sub/slave?

sorry for all the questions but i am very curious and figured the best people to ask are the people who know best

Since "submissive" or "slave" are largely self-defined. If you think you are, you are.

I tend to agree with Bladerunner. It's a lot more informative to say "I like.." and list the activities and whether you are the done-to or do-er.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 2

RE: how did you know? - 9/4/2005 11:22:01 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i used to play slave for my dolls when a little girl, and never liked to compete, or push others aside, i silently avaited my turn, a little shy and often let pepole push me around. When i was a little older i read the Saga of the Ice pepole books, well the first of them, in it there is a sence where the female lead have sex for the first time and her pain is described, it was my first real meeting whit sexual material that i wiewed as sexual and i got interested in sexual pain, later when i heard of BDSM and D/s i belived i would want to be a bottom, play whit it now and then, then aboute a year ago i found out i might want to live as a submissive 24/7.

i dont know what i means to me realy, it is just a part of who i am.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 3

RE: how did you know? - 9/4/2005 3:28:41 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valhalla69
Hi all.i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave?

it just felt right for me. Yes I'd had the serving and sexual fantasies since I was very young, but in actively exploring bdsm, I just felt "more me" in that situation.

quote:

and also what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel?

To me it means being in or attracted to a relationship as owned property where the owner has ultimate authority over everything possible.

It makes me feel "more me" fulfilled and growing.

quote:

and whats the best thing you like about being a sub/slave?

I dunno, what's the best thing vanillas like about being vanilla?

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 4

RE: how did you know? - 9/4/2005 5:38:49 PM

iamdownonmyknees

Posts: 93
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Durham NC USA
Status: offline

Even as a young boy I wanted someone (other, naturally than my parents) to control me and use me for their pleasure.

I’m in a relationship that is both conventional (‘vanilla’ if one must) but includes D/s.

Being able to surrender every particle of my will to someone that I love, trust and adore is powerfully relaxing. When I go deep in servitude my mind finally stops babbling at me ceaselessly.

A huge reward. Call it very selfish selflessness.

Richard

_____________________________

Down On My Knees & Sensual Sadist

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 5

RE: how did you know? - 9/4/2005 11:33:47 PM

nslut4whtmaster

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

For me it has always been about being of service and being given orders to follow. I enjoy those things. However, I resent when a dominant just assumes I should follow the orders just because he says so. I am not a slave nor am I a passive type submissive. I have a very curious nature and will question a dominant, which has caused a problem at times. I happen to believe that passivity is not a criteria for submission. I do not want to fit into a box.

ns

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 6

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 5:06:22 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I was in a D/s relationship and didn't know it. Of course at the time I didn't know anything about the lifestyle. But I knew that I enjoyed receiving orders, obeying, submitting, I wanted to meet his expectations in a pleasing manner. He was the first strong, dominant man I'd ever been with. It was like a test of submission for me. It was an eye opening experience and from that point I became even more curious about kink, bdsm, and D/s.

(in reply to nslut4whtmaster)

Post #: 7

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 8:36:30 AM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nslut4whtmaster

I do not want to fit into a box.

ns

Not even if it's a pretty box with chains and stuff? ~sorry lol couldn't resist

To answer the actual thread, i realized i was a submissive after a friend dragged me into a bdsm chatroom... (i can see those eyerolls now lol ...let me finish.) I started reading about the lifestyle, and the more i read, the more "at home" i felt. To me, being a submissive or slave is the need to serve another, pleasing Them before yourself, in whatever form that might take. The thing i like most about it is (not surprisingly) the warmth inside from knowing i have pleased Master and hearing "good girl".

_____________________________

"Put your big girl panties on and deal with it."

"Forget love...i'd rather fall in chocolate."

(in reply to nslut4whtmaster)

Post #: 8

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 8:47:09 AM

quietlilone

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave?

I think I could but the label to myself in my early twenties, but in saying that I know that it was always something that was a part of me, even before I knew what BDSM was.
I was never happy, even as a child unless those around me were happy first, so I would do whatever was within my power to make certain they were, and if I coud not then I felt like I had failed in some way. It naturally carried over into my adult relationships.

quote:

and also what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel?

It makes me feel like I am accomplishing something that brings pleasure to others and therefore brings satisfaction to me, from ironing (which I hate) to more "pleasurable" tasks. I really don't have the words to describe what it means to me. I could easliy throw out standard definitions but for me it's just a must have in my life.

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 9

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 10:12:02 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Unlike a few others, I never had fantasies as a child of being submissive or a slave. In fact, as my parents can attest to, I was more likely to do something I was told not to do than to do what I was told. I have a stubborn streak inside me and if someone tells me, "you can't do that", my response is more likely to be "watch me" rather than saying "ok". It is probably why I went to graduate school in a male dominated field.

However, in my past relationships, I was always completely devoted to my partner, completely devoted to fulfilling their needs and wants, and doing the things that brought them pleasure. For me, that is what submission is, being completely devoted to pleasing my partner. My submission is not centered on BDSM; I did not seek a Dominant as a partner so that I could get someone to beat the crap out of me or tie me up (although I love that aspect of the relationship). I sought a D/s relationship so that I could find someone who would see the devotion I had to offer and cherish it as it were the most fragile of flowers. I found that person in my Lord.

When first exploring my submission and what it meant to me, I did not think that I could be a slave. I did not think that I could trust someone enough to give them control of whatever they wished to control. Now, I could not see my relationship with my Lord in any other form than Master/slave. Being His slave, being completely devoted to Him and trusting that He will care for my well-being as much as I do, has made me happier than I have ever been. Choosing every day to be His slave and submit to Him, and yes, I feel that it is a choice I make every day, brings me a sense of peace and contentment that I have never found before. I choose every day to be His; most days, it is an easy and automatic choice. Then there are other days when the choice is not so easy to make and what was simple and easy the day before is now a challenge to complete.

Since I have given myself to my Lord, who is as sadistic as anyone I have ever met, I have discovered that I am quite the masochist. But it is the submissive in me who enjoys the play the most. I love watching the joy on His face as He causes me intense pain, hearing the laughter and pleasure in His voice as I struggle to deal with all the sensations. As His slave, the best gift for me is to see Him happy and enjoying Himself.

Knight’s kyra

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 10

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 12:28:27 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

Hi all.i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave?

i didn't really know i was a submissive until i found this site. i had always referred to myself as that 50's housewife. Meaning, i loved to do all the cooking , cleaning, errands etc. In the workplace i'd always be the one cleaning. Even being the one in charge if something more important needed to be done and i saw an employee vacuuming i'd snatch it right from them and finish it myself. In past relationships i'd always focus on making that person happy. i'd get alot of satisfaction in knowing that whatever i'd do for them put a smile on their face. When i met my Master (the one i'm with now) we were already somewhat in a D/s relationship and didn't even know it. Like i said, it wasn't until i found this site that i realized i was a submissive. So, since finding this site i've read many threads and have posted my fair share. i've learned alot about this lifestyle and i keep learning more about myself everyday.

quote:

what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel?

To me being a submissive means that i have given myself to my Master. i put my Master on a pedestal. i serve my Master in any way that She desires. i get so much satisfaction from serving Her. When i do things for Her and She is pleased She always puts on the biggest smile and that makes me so happy.

quote:

whats the best thing you like about being a sub/slave?

my favorite thing about being Master's submissive is that in return for all that i do for Her She makes sure that i am well taken care of. She makes sure that i am happy.

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 11

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 1:15:44 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

As a child i always liked serving and taking care or others, It was about 5 years ago i realized that it was because i was a submissive.

littleone

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 12

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 1:51:29 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I fantasized about submitting to a dominant woman starting around age seven, so I'm clearly one of those who identified as a submissive/slave very early on. There was zero opportunity to learn about this lifestyle until the late 70s or early 80s, so I wasted much of my life living in a purely vanilla world. However, I did manage to convince the vanilla women in my life to spank me, which was wonderful. In my fantasies with them, of course, it went much farther.

It's been a life-long thing for me, that fortunately I've had some experience in later in life...

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 13

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 7:40:58 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

As a child i always liked serving and taking care or others, It was about 5 years ago i realized that it was because i was a submissive.

littleone

as a child i always did too, it was just in my nature to take care of others from the start.
taking care of meaning total servitude ~~pleasing Him, pleases me. serving Him sets me free.

< Message edited by Dracironsgirl -- 9/7/2005 9:22:29 PM >

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 14

RE: how did you know? - 9/5/2005 10:57:23 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl
as a child i always did too, it was just in my nature to take care of others from the start.

Interesting- why do you connect "take care of others" with submissive? Don't many dominants like to take care of others as well? Vanillas?

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)

Post #: 15

RE: how did you know? - 9/6/2005 12:21:11 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I realized that I had submissive tendencies when I was very young, about eight, though I didn't know what to call it then. It started with fantasies of being a helpless princess, all tied up....but I didn't want to get away. I've always liked the villains in stories and movies much better than the protagonist. They're usually so much more charming. Anyway, things evolved quite quickly, and I started to delve quite deeply into my darker side.
Being a submissive now is just a way of life. My husband and I aren't lifestyle 24/7, but we play often enough for me to identify that as how I am. Serving master is a truly beautiful thing for me. It's not just kinky sex, it's not just spanking, it's not just anything. It's an art form. He and I create a thing of beauty when we join that way. We become one soul, one will, one mind. Two people moving in synch, fulfilling each other's desires, acting out the oldest, most intricate, most breathtaking power play on the planet.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 16

RE: how did you know? - 9/6/2005 3:23:49 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

i was just wondering how did you know you were a sub/slave?

at 33, it was painfully obvious that the vanilla world held little hope for a successfull relationship for this slave. after 3 years of neither dating nor commitments and oodles of research and self exploration, this slave came to the conclusion that a D/s relationship was necessary, with her on the right side of the slash.

quote:

what does being a sub/slave mean to you and what does it do for you and make you feel?

it means being free to be fulfilled in a relationship. it makes this slave feel accepted, useful and appreciated instead of conflicted, confused and thought of as sick or mentally ill.

quote:

whats the best thing you like about being a sub/slave?

the outfits and costumes, man, "fetish-wear" is this slave's absolute favorite "genre" right after "historical"

ok ok, seriously, as mentioned above, fulfillment, acceptance and appreciation on both sides of the slash.

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 17

RE: how did you know? - 9/6/2005 4:47:29 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

This reminds me of this

http://www.collarchat.com/m_156603/mpage_3/tm.htm

(in reply to Valhalla69)

Post #: 18

RE: how did you know? - 9/6/2005 5:16:42 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

This reminds me of this

http://www.collarchat.com/m_156603/mpage_3/tm.htm

It does. But this one is not only aimed at boys.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 19

RE: how did you know? - 9/7/2005 8:45:34 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl
as a child i always did too, it was just in my nature to take care of others from the start.

Interesting- why do you connect "take care of others" with submissive? Don't many dominants like to take care of others as well? Vanillas?

my mistake for wording it wrong, sorry.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 20

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