RE: How should a sub act around others?

RE: How should a sub act around others? (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:27:24 PM)
What is it with these questions, how should a grown up act around others?? Jeez. I act however I want to act, no matter whom I am with, I don't act a particular way because of a role. And if someone I was with acted inappropriately, I would probably say something, whether they were Dom or not. In the end though, you are always only responsible for your own actions, not the actions of others, despite what you may believe or want to believe. Unless you own a puppet, they you can control them, by pulling that string or shoving your hand inside them.

gorgeous1 -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:39:55 PM)
I second you on that, Red! I can completely understand a submissive, when in full role, say at a play party, acting in a certain manner that pleases their Dominant. I know many submissives are expected to act and speak in a certain way to observe protocol, and that's part of the fun of WIITWD. The next time Master and I can manage to get a babysitter and go out on a date, we talked about playing a little game at the restaurant. He will do all the talking, and will order dinner for me. I'm totally on board for that- it will be fun! As far as normal, every-day life, my husband would never try to control how I interact with others. I am who I am.

KatyLied -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:40:53 PM)
quote: shoving your hand inside them. Really? [:D]

Jeffff -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:42:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: shoving your hand inside them. Really? [:D] Yeah.....that was hot!! Jim Henson

sexyred1 -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:44:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: shoving your hand inside them. Really? [:D] Well, I meant shoving your hand up them as in a puppeteer, but my mind wandered, as it so often does to nether regions....

ThundersCry -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 1:58:07 PM)
I try to stay away from the respect* topic...* Howver how to act? A no brainer.... Most I would hope do know how to be polite and have manners around others. Does that mean I do around everyone all the time...nope. I do believe they are not only a reflection of each other as some have said, but that in their actions, like others have stated they can and should compliment each other. I would not settle for any...less.

daddyncherry -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 2:54:44 PM)
i am in general, polite and mannerly....i give a certain amount of respect to people across the board until they give me reason not to....that being said... i am not EXPECTED to treat Dominants or Ms any differently than anyone else...unless we are playing together and then Daddy says who i am will naturally take over anyway... He also doesn't look at the me being a reflection on him, i am a reflection of who i am, not him, as far as he is concerned...the only thing he hopes people to see is a happy slave girl.

Jeffff -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 2:56:24 PM)
and that sounds ideal to me Jeff

Justme696 -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:01:00 PM)
If she is harsh and rude..you better protect her well..lol lets just be nice to eachother..till some one does you wrong or tries too...that is the same..but sounds more decent.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:02:58 PM)
I'm with Sexyred, I never gave much thought to how Fox or Angel were suposed to act around other people. They have their own personalities and have had them since well before I was part of the picture. Why would I all of a sudden step in and tel them how they should be acting? Its been working well for this long. Both boys are typical southern gentlemen. The only behavior I have cutailed ever was a touch of a flirtatious streak. I didnt see it as innapropriate, persay, but rather misunderstood and asking for trouble and so I have asked it to be stopped. I dont want them to be anything other than what they always have been. It was enough to impress me and it should be enough for anyone else. If a D doesnt think I "control" them enough by letting them act as they see fit (which can range from the sweetest thing walking to a little bitch depending on how someone approaches them first) then I suggest tey control THEIR pets the way they like their pets to behave, and I will do the same with mine. DV

windchymes -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:06:48 PM)
I think some of this theory goes back to the chat room style of D/s, where subs sashayed around with bells tinkling, asked permission to do everything except breathe, served drinks on pretend silver trays, etc. When they came out of the chat rooms and into real life situations and realized that this stuff is probably silly to try to do in most public places, they don't really know what TO do.

Jeffff -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:07:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 If she is harsh and rude..you better protect her well..lol lets just be nice to eachother..till some one does you wrong or tries too...that is the same..but sounds more decent. Since I don't get involved with generaly rude women, if she were harsh or rude, I would imagine the person had it comming. That seems simple to me. I have no issue with a well deserved retort. I also have no expectaion of perfection Jeff

NorthernGent -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:09:14 PM)
I disagree. In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:12:53 PM)
It's going to depend on where we are as to how I feel about this. In some instances, all the slaves of a group are in service to all the Masters, domestic service only. Of course, the owning Master gets preference. So, if I'm in a group like this and anne isn't doing anything for me, it's ok for someone else to politely ask her to fetch something or other. In other instances, in particular in High Protocol, anne is mine. she is ALWAYS serving me, even if that's to sit at my feet and do nothing. No one in my FOC would ask her to fetch something at this time; they know better. But, not all general people will know. Instead of getting mad, we explain, nicely, what's going on. Most people are at least apologetic about the faux pas. My girl knows to 1) serve others as she sees fit and 2) how to say, "I'm sorry, I'm in service right now." Most Masters and slaves in my tribe get that this mean, "Sorry, but no, I can't help you." It doesn't mean, "I won't help you." My FOC also knows the value of a slave, be they seen as property or not. Thus, anyone who would ask for her help would do so nicely as it is MY graciousness that allows her to serve them. So, if someone's slave is asked to do something, simple have them say, "I'm in service to my Master right now," or, "I'm sorry, I can't help you," even if the person asking isn't nice. Lots of people, when met with kindness and a smile, as much more apt to take a look at what they're doing. Imagine if they got a roomful of these statements and smiles. They might actually figure out that it's wrong of them to expect a slave they don't own to serve. Kinda long winded...I hope it made sense. Master Fire

Suleiman -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:14:46 PM)
I'm afraid I disagree with you, NorthernGent. I don't suffer fools gladly and I take a certain perverse delight in watching an idiot get used as a scratching post. This does, of course, directly reflect on me, but quite frankly, I'm not so desperate for the validation of others, especially strangers, to really care all that much. I am, sad to say, an utter barbarian.

Shawn1066 -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:14:52 PM)
I am expected to treat other Dominants/submissives exactly as I would vanilla people. How is that? With respect(the same for both parties), humor(sometimes lame), and conversation(sometimes dull). If -I- am not treated with the same respect, then, well... She would not be pleased and neither would I.

Jeffff -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:19:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent I disagree. In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation. I disagree entirely....... for myself the last thing I would want is a woman who does not have the self respect to stand up for herself. Manners apply to all. When some one crosses that line, that person has forfeited the right to be treated with respect. Jeff

Evility -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:47:25 PM)
I think she should be herself. I don't feel that a submissive should have to adopt a certain behavior set at a munch or dungeon event. I know she is never going to be harsh or rude or intentionally disrespectful to anyone. Forget how that might reflect on me, she would not behave in that manner because of how it reflects on her. While everyone else is taking pot shots at you I understand where you are coming from. If Lord X walks in the door and expects all the submissives to lower their gaze in front of him and address him only as Lord X and he mentions this to her I would fully expect her to chuckle, shake her head and walk away. I would be proud of her for doing so. There are always going to be a few dominants in the crowd that are full of this bullshit. They're the ones who identify as being "in the lifestyle".

daddyncherry -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:57:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent I disagree. In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation. I disagree entirely....... for myself the last thing I would want is a woman who does not have the self respect to stand up for herself. Manners apply to all. When some one crosses that line, that person has forfeited the right to be treated with respect. Jeff ABSOLUTELY Jeff! i can be as courteous, mannerly and polite as the next person....i can sometimes be down right "mouse like" BUT....when it comes down to it, if someone were to be totally disrespectful to me or my Daddy or any number of other things....then i would totally speak my mind...i think there is a big differnece bewtween being rude and obnoxious, and being smart enough and strong enough to stand your ground when someone steps on you.

ItalianSMistress -> RE: How should a sub act around others? (1/31/2008 3:57:37 PM)
Well, I know that I am not with the masses here, but, I am used to that, so keep in mind, this is only My opinon. If we are out in the general public, I have a set of rules for that, which I wont get into now. As far as being at home, if I have a personal, vanilla style friend here, My slaves normally would have no reason to address them. If for some reason, they did, I would expect them to use a Miss before their name, or simply a Sir. Keep in mind, however, that this would only happen in two ways, usually. A: If both My vanilla friend and slave are aware and it is set up before hand (example: one birthday Me and a girlfriend were going out to a bar, so we went to My girls house beforehand for drinks), or B: Just stopped by for something, like if My gf down the hall came over for a smoke or to borrow something. If we are with another Dom/me or sub, I would expect the same, I would expect that they are quiet and respectful. I will expect that they know their rules and follow them closely, that they make sure I am not needing or wanting anything, and if in My house, make sure My guests are taken care of. I mostly expect them to be out of the way, seen and not heard, unless they are asked to do something. However, I will state, that I expect My friends and follow Ds folk alike to well respect My slave, or I will end any interaction right there. Also, I make sure Mine are fully trained to know what I expect before I would ever put them in this kind of situation,,or out in public, I would not just throw them into it without knowing what I expect.

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