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RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:27:24 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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What is it with these questions, how should a grown up act around others?? Jeez.

I act however I want to act, no matter whom I am with, I don't act a particular way because of a role. And if someone I was with acted inappropriately, I would probably say something, whether they were Dom or not.

In the end though, you are always only responsible for your own actions, not the actions of others, despite what you may believe or want to believe. Unless you own a puppet, they you can control them, by pulling that string or shoving your hand inside them.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 21

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:39:55 PM

gorgeous1

Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
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I second you on that, Red!

I can completely understand a submissive, when in full role, say at a play party, acting in a certain manner that pleases their Dominant. I know many submissives are expected to act and speak in a certain way to observe protocol, and that's part of the fun of WIITWD. The next time Master and I can manage to get a babysitter and go out on a date, we talked about playing a little game at the restaurant. He will do all the talking, and will order dinner for me. I'm totally on board for that- it will be fun!

As far as normal, every-day life, my husband would never try to control how I interact with others. I am who I am.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 22

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:40:53 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

shoving your hand inside them.

Really?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 23

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:42:43 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

shoving your hand inside them.

Really?

Yeah.....that was hot!!

Jim Henson

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 24

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:44:48 PM

sexyred1

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

shoving your hand inside them.

Really?

Well, I meant shoving your hand up them as in a puppeteer, but my mind wandered, as it so often does to nether regions....

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 25

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 1:58:07 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

I try to stay away from the *respect* topic...

Howver how to *act*?

A no brainer....

Most I would hope do know how to be polite and have manners around others.

Does that mean I do around everyone all the time...nope.

I do believe they are not only a reflection of each other as some have said, but that in their actions, like others have stated they can and should compliment each other.

I would not settle for any...less.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 26

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 2:54:44 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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i am in general, polite and mannerly....i give a certain amount of respect to people across the board until they give me reason not to....that being said...

i am not EXPECTED to treat Dominants or Ms any differently than anyone else...unless we are playing together and then Daddy says who i am will naturally take over anyway...

He also doesn't look at the me being a reflection on him, i am a reflection of who i am, not him, as far as he is concerned...the only thing he hopes people to see is a happy slave girl.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 27

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 2:56:24 PM

Jeffff

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and that sounds ideal to me

Jeff

(in reply to daddyncherry)

Post #: 28

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:01:00 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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If she is harsh and rude..you better protect her well..lol

lets just be nice to eachother..till some one does you wrong or tries too...that is the same..but sounds more decent.

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 1/31/2008 3:02:59 PM >

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 29

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:02:58 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I'm with Sexyred, I never gave much thought to how Fox or Angel were suposed to act around other people. They have their own personalities and have had them since well before I was part of the picture. Why would I all of a sudden step in and tel them how they should be acting? Its been working well for this long. Both boys are typical southern gentlemen. The only behavior I have cutailed ever was a touch of a flirtatious streak. I didnt see it as innapropriate, persay, but rather misunderstood and asking for trouble and so I have asked it to be stopped.
I dont want them to be anything other than what they always have been. It was enough to impress me and it should be enough for anyone else. If a D doesnt think I "control" them enough by letting them act as they see fit (which can range from the sweetest thing walking to a little bitch depending on how someone approaches them first) then I suggest tey control THEIR pets the way they like their pets to behave, and I will do the same with mine.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 30

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:06:48 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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I think some of this theory goes back to the chat room style of D/s, where subs sashayed around with bells tinkling, asked permission to do everything except breathe, served drinks on pretend silver trays, etc. When they came out of the chat rooms and into real life situations and realized that this stuff is probably silly to try to do in most public places, they don't really know what TO do.

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(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 31

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:07:34 PM

Jeffff

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Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696
If she is harsh and rude..you better protect her well..lol
lets just be nice to eachother..till some one does you wrong or tries too...that is the same..but sounds more decent.

Since I don't get involved with generaly rude women, if she were harsh or rude, I would imagine the person had it comming. That seems simple to me. I have no issue with a well deserved retort. I also have no expectaion of perfection

Jeff

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 1/31/2008 3:08:33 PM >

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 32

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:09:14 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

I disagree.

In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LivingForce)

Post #: 33

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:12:53 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It's going to depend on where we are as to how I feel about this. In some instances, all the slaves of a group are in service to all the Masters, domestic service only. Of course, the owning Master gets preference. So, if I'm in a group like this and anne isn't doing anything for me, it's ok for someone else to politely ask her to fetch something or other. In other instances, in particular in High Protocol, anne is mine. she is ALWAYS serving me, even if that's to sit at my feet and do nothing. No one in my FOC would ask her to fetch something at this time; they know better. But, not all general people will know. Instead of getting mad, we explain, nicely, what's going on. Most people are at least apologetic about the faux pas.

My girl knows to 1) serve others as she sees fit and 2) how to say, "I'm sorry, I'm in service right now." Most Masters and slaves in my tribe get that this mean, "Sorry, but no, I can't help you." It doesn't mean, "I won't help you." My FOC also knows the value of a slave, be they seen as property or not. Thus, anyone who would ask for her help would do so nicely as it is MY graciousness that allows her to serve them.

So, if someone's slave is asked to do something, simple have them say, "I'm in service to my Master right now," or, "I'm sorry, I can't help you," even if the person asking isn't nice. Lots of people, when met with kindness and a smile, as much more apt to take a look at what they're doing. Imagine if they got a roomful of these statements and smiles. They might actually figure out that it's wrong of them to expect a slave they don't own to serve.

Kinda long winded...I hope it made sense.

Master Fire

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(in reply to LivingForce)

Post #: 34

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:14:46 PM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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I'm afraid I disagree with you, NorthernGent. I don't suffer fools gladly and I take a certain perverse delight in watching an idiot get used as a scratching post. This does, of course, directly reflect on me, but quite frankly, I'm not so desperate for the validation of others, especially strangers, to really care all that much. I am, sad to say, an utter barbarian.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 35

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:14:52 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I am expected to treat other Dominants/submissives exactly as I would vanilla people.

How is that? With respect(the same for both parties), humor(sometimes lame), and conversation(sometimes dull).

If -I- am not treated with the same respect, then, well... She would not be pleased and neither would I.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 36

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:19:47 PM

Jeffff

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Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
I disagree.
In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation.

I disagree entirely....... for myself the last thing I would want is a woman who does not have the self respect to stand up for herself. Manners apply to all. When some one crosses that line, that person has forfeited the right to be treated with respect.

Jeff

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 37

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:47:25 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I think she should be herself. I don't feel that a submissive should have to adopt a certain behavior set at a munch or dungeon event. I know she is never going to be harsh or rude or intentionally disrespectful to anyone. Forget how that might reflect on me, she would not behave in that manner because of how it reflects on her.

While everyone else is taking pot shots at you I understand where you are coming from. If Lord X walks in the door and expects all the submissives to lower their gaze in front of him and address him only as Lord X and he mentions this to her I would fully expect her to chuckle, shake her head and walk away. I would be proud of her for doing so. There are always going to be a few dominants in the crowd that are full of this bullshit. They're the ones who identify as being "in the lifestyle".

(in reply to LivingForce)

Post #: 38

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:57:05 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
I disagree.
In order to be proud of her, she should be courtesy, polite, well-mannered and steadfast regardless of how provocative the situation.

I disagree entirely....... for myself the last thing I would want is a woman who does not have the self respect to stand up for herself. Manners apply to all. When some one crosses that line, that person has forfeited the right to be treated with respect.

Jeff

ABSOLUTELY Jeff!

i can be as courteous, mannerly and polite as the next person....i can sometimes be down right "mouse like" BUT....when it comes down to it, if someone were to be totally disrespectful to me or my Daddy or any number of other things....then i would totally speak my mind...i think there is a big differnece bewtween being rude and obnoxious, and being smart enough and strong enough to stand your ground when someone steps on you.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 39

RE: How should a sub act around others? - 1/31/2008 3:57:37 PM

ItalianSMistress

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline

Well, I know that I am not with the masses here, but, I am used to that, so keep in mind, this is only My opinon. If we are out in the general public, I have a set of rules for that, which I wont get into now. As far as being at home, if I have a personal, vanilla style friend here, My slaves normally would have no reason to address them. If for some reason, they did, I would expect them to use a Miss before their name, or simply a Sir. Keep in mind, however, that this would only happen in two ways, usually. A: If both My vanilla friend and slave are aware and it is set up before hand (example: one birthday Me and a girlfriend were going out to a bar, so we went to My girls house beforehand for drinks), or B: Just stopped by for something, like if My gf down the hall came over for a smoke or to borrow something.

If we are with another Dom/me or sub, I would expect the same, I would expect that they are quiet and respectful. I will expect that they know their rules and follow them closely, that they make sure I am not needing or wanting anything, and if in My house, make sure My guests are taken care of. I mostly expect them to be out of the way, seen and not heard, unless they are asked to do something.
However, I will state, that I expect My friends and follow Ds folk alike to well respect My slave, or I will end any interaction right there. Also, I make sure Mine are fully trained to know what I expect before I would ever put them in this kind of situation,,or out in public, I would not just throw them into it without knowing what I expect.

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."

http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 40

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