Ojedieu
Posts: 142
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: Michigan
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: kc692
Although experience has it's good points, sometimes it is hard to undo anothers training to suit me.
I don't think I worry about freaking out a nilla as much as making sure I give them enough time to absorb the newness and the very different feelings they have from what they are used to. ( I agree with you, smiles, if you can't tell, I love showing someone new into WIITWD, if they have the right mindset) Every once in a while, we get fortunate in that respect...a special one that soaks up all the exposure you can give them. My pet is learning at a rapid rate, but, sometimes, I am careful about the flow, since I agree with you that is possible if new to "this" to become overwhelmed if the teacher is not observant of the rate of information flow and experiences.
I've never had the problem of undoing someone else's training. Guess I'm lucky. The experienced subs I deal with all seem to realize that as a different person, I'm likely to expect different things of them than their last Mistress. Most ask what I like and we take time getting to know one another so it's easier to know one another's expectations, turn-ons, -offs, etc. (Not saying that you don't do this too, just mentioning that I do it.)
The people I've had to re-program, as it were, tend not to be my submissives. They're usually people who are very new to the scene, have only read fantasy stuff online, and fail to realize that just because they're a sub and I'm in Domme mode that I'm not automatically going to Domme *them* and that I'm not their Mistress and that they shouldn't be bowing and scraping to me or acting as if I own them when we have no such agreement. This shows up at play parties more times than I can count.
Apart from that, just with online correspondence, the only other thing I've ever had to request they change is to quit using the caps when making any reference to me, quit using the lowercase "i" when referring to themselves, and please to never ever use that horrible slashy thing, as that's just my personal preference. Again, this seems to happen more with newbies who have gotten all of their exposure to BDSM online. But since that's all the reprogramming that's ever been necessary, and as I say, never really needed with any of my subs, I don't have much of a gripe on that front.
With 'nilla's I've had a few wig out at the first mention of BDSM, one of whom called me "sick" for (being subby at that time) wanting to be tied up. I found out later, that he'd found a parent's kinky playchest when he was younger. Guess he couldn't handle that. Anyway, the ones who freak out as soon as I mention it, I don't worry too much about as if they aren't open minded enough to even hear about fantasies or explore even the pretty tame requests, they're not going to be a match for me anyway.
Far and away, most guys that I've brought it up with tend to be really excited that they're with a kink-friendly gal who is willing to explore with them, though again, I do try to take things slowly as the whole scene can be quite overwhelming to a 'nilla. Slowly explaining that not everyone participates in all aspects of BDSM in the same ways usually helps quite a lot and is one of the first things I tell them as they are inevitably going to go online and either meet posers, rule-mongers, or see some extreme stuff that would scare the living sh*t out of them. At least they go forewarned and knowing what I'm into and what I'm not ahead of time.
Edited to add, well quite a lot really.
< Message edited by Ojedieu -- 9/8/2005 8:24:06 PM >
_____________________________
Ojedieu
|
RE: Experience or converted? - 
Profile
RE: Experience or converted? - 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread