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RE: money - 2/2/2008 1:38:46 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Go out and price those fetish outfits you expect her to wear. And the high heeled boots. Not to mention all the toys. Or are you willing to  have cbt done with a shoelace and a spanking done with a wooden spoon while she wears sweats and bunny slippers?

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: money - 2/2/2008 1:42:13 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KingBlood666

ok this is what i dont get.......why the hell would a Domme want her slaves/subs to pay for service.....especial when the Domme is making enufe money as it is.....pisses me off when i find a decent Domme that can train me but find out all she wants is my money.......WHAT THE FUCK!?!?


Read this:

Ok this is what I don't get. Why the hell would a Mechanic want her customers to pay for service? Especially when the Mechanic is making enough money as it is. Pisses me off when I find a decent Mechanic that can fix my broken car, but find out all she wants is my money. What the fuck?

love it!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: money - 2/2/2008 3:33:25 PM   
cyberdude611


Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go out and price those fetish outfits you expect her to wear. And the high heeled boots. Not to mention all the toys. Or are you willing to  have cbt done with a shoelace and a spanking done with a wooden spoon while she wears sweats and bunny slippers?


Do male doms expect their subs to pay for the price of the equitment?

If a sub brings his own toys to a pro-domme, does he get a discount?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: money - 2/2/2008 3:43:29 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611
If a sub brings his own toys to a pro-domme, does he get a discount?

I was on a date last Saturday with a lady.  We went to a sex shop.  She asked me to point to a toy I wanted to play with.  I did.  She bought it.  You know, with her own money.  We used it later that evening, after we went to a classical music concert.  Of course, she's a switch, so not a TRUE DOMME.  You and King are going to have to pay Miss Magnolia and me $150/hour each if you keep posting stuff like this.

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: money - 2/2/2008 3:52:36 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		OMG Red..the horror of it all, the traitoress, who is she I demand her shoe size her social insirance number and the name of her pedicurist, I will alert the Domme Directive to throw this heretic out. How dare she!!!
Seriously.....hope  you both had a good time:)
Lucy


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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: money - 2/2/2008 4:17:38 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks Lucy.  I just clicked on your store, and dayum -- the concert was Tafelmusik in Toronto!  I had no idea you were there.  I've enjoyed your posts, and could have said hi.  I guess I'll have to perv more often.

I appreciate the good wishes, and yeah, it was a pleasant evening.

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: money - 2/2/2008 4:52:00 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		LOL anytime Red:)
Lucy

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:00:52 PM   
cyberdude611


Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline 		All I did was ask a simple question: everyone makes this big deal about how expensive it is to buy BDSM equitment. And that is the reason why dommes have to charge hundreds of dollars an hour to maintain it.
But I dont ever see male doms charging their subs for money in order to pay for the equitment. Male doms pay out of pocket from money made during their day job.

Most pro-dommes would probably not be doing this if there is no money to be made. You look around the internet and most seem to be quite interested in turning a profit.
"I dont do this for free."
"My time is important."
"If you write me, you better not be poor."
You will find phrases like this all over CM profiles. Phrases like that pretty much says they care more about the profit than the activity. Psychologically your motives for doing the activity is controlled by an external force (compensation). Not by internal forces (interest, for the fun of it, etc..). Now if you remove the compensation or the external force....would you still be doing this activity?

Also take a look at the quality of the relationship between a pro-domme and a sub. It's business-like. There is no intamacy. And neither side truely cares for the other (as a close friend would). The relationship is cold. You remove the cash and there is no bond. You then compare that to a male dom and a female sub relationship and you have intimacy. You have a relationship where they care for each other even if they arnt lovers.
There is a clear difference. And I've been to BDSM events and I have personally witnessed this difference quite vividly. And you will notice it to if you pay attention.

This isn't much debate on this...it's rooted in basic social psychology. Money destroys relatedness.

Now if it is true that you do this money...Fine! I have no problem with it. But say so! Don't put up this sharade and fake personality that you actually enjoy it when the primary motivator depends on how much profit you can make.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:10:30 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		She paid for the concert tickets too, dude.  I paid for other things we did on other days, if it matters to you.  She's a former fetish model, if that matters to you.  Do you really think a woman who would do something like that for a living, even if just for 18 months, as she did, has no interest in such things whatsoever except for financial?

Men don't pay for everything in non-pro situations, male Doms don't always love and care for their female subs, and not all fetish professionals are unfeeling greedy bitches.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to perv Lucy's profile.

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:10:52 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Huh? I thought some guy named "KingBlood666" asked this question.

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(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:17:53 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

Also take a look at the quality of the relationship between a pro-domme and a sub. It's business-like. There is no intamacy. And neither side truely cares for the other (as a close friend would). The relationship is cold. You remove the cash and there is no bond. You then compare that to a male dom and a female sub relationship and you have intimacy. You have a relationship where they care for each other even if they arnt lovers.


Could be because it is business. When I go to a particular event and pay for needle play, I won't expect the person doing it to be close to me. Athough if you bothered to read some of the posts made by the wonderful pro-dommes here on the CM forums you'll find that quite a few of them do care about their clients. They just aren't their lovers.

Pro-doms aren't girlfriends. Get over it - there are lots of dommes who aren't pro. But there a lot more male subs than fem doms so they get the pick of the litter. You find the same situations with male dom/fem sub who are looking for another fem sub, particularly a young bisexual woman.

You've also got to understand that there are women and men who enjoy money as a kink. They want to control your money for their pleasure and there are enough men in this world who enjoy having their money controlled that they get to state "I want this and I don't want you unless you want it too". If there weren't enough women that enjoyed getting beaten, male dominants wouldn't be putting "Unless you enjoy getting beaten, I don't want you".

It's all laws of supply and demand. If you aren't in demand, find a way to be.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:27:10 PM   
cyberdude611


Posts: 2596
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline 		That's my point entirely. It's a business relationship. Yet pro-dommes seem to want to shy away from that fact and pretend as if it is something more.

As for the "financial control" people....they arnt part of BDSM in my opinion. That's why that type of stuff is supposed to be banned on this site according to CM's terms of service.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:32:31 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Oh please, who died and made you King of BDSM? You don't get to decide who is and isn't part of BDSM. It's a kink, they enjoy it, it makes them happy. There are plenty of things in BDSM that bother me a lot more than grown-up people indulging in money control. Hell, it's the same thing as one partner in a relationship controlling all the money in a vanilla relationship - they just get an extra thrill.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: money - 2/2/2008 5:37:14 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		im just LOL at this thread

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(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: money - 2/3/2008 2:03:37 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Some men unfortunately will always be left with one option to get a femdom to play with him -- he will have to pay her. It is this way because he is otherwise undesirable. Just as some men can't get laid unless they go to a hooker.

Akasha



I can't believe you're spouting this line again. This "Just World" stuff is a load of crap. I can only shake my head and wonder where you come up with this stuff.

-----

Cyberdude, professional Femdoms exist because of supply-and-demand factors: namely the steep ratio difference between femdoms to malesubs.

If malesubs had to be losers to pay for professional dominatrix services, than that would mean everyone in Aakasha's training class was a loser. I'm sure she's not in business to spend her time with losers.

Of all the pros here who post on CM, Aakasha is the only one peddling this cockamanie "malesub is a loser" so-he-has-to-pay-for-it shit.

Most other prodoms here don't ever complain or characterize malesubs this way. Most seem to have good working relationships with their clients.

Are their male losers out there. Sure. But that doesn't answer this question by a long shot.

quote:

Cyberdude:

That's my point entirely. It's a business relationship. Yet pro-dommes seem to want to shy away from that fact and pretend as if it is something more.


I haven't really seen that here, and I doubt you have much factual basis for this generalization. Prodommes are the same as any other business people, when they market themselves they focus on services and benefits first --- and fees second.

Sidepoint: I have a business relationship with my clients too, but I also have a personal relationship to them as well. Sure, the business relationship comes first, but that's because its a business.

Sidepoint II: I saw a pro a long time ago, and she was great. We weren't any kind of love match, but I had a tremendous respect for what she did.

Sidepoint III: What upsets many guys is how professionals market themselves in personal ad space. Where BDSM is concerned, though, this is just part of the landscape.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 2/3/2008 2:33:10 AM >

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: money - 2/3/2008 6:33:23 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KingBlood666

damn you people dont get it.....im not talking about the pros......im talking about the other dommes that just want money.....damn....that so hard to understand?


Of course we "get it".   Heck, there's a thread on this at least twice a week.

There's just no reason to get upset because other people are into something we're not.   This is the internet - you're going to run into a lot of people who aren't what you are looking for, for whatever reason.   Why sweat it?   If they're not what you're looking for - keep looking.  

If you need to understand the "why" - supply and demand.  If sometimes these women weren't successful in having guys send them money - they wouldn't do it.   If you don't want to be one of those guys - then don't.  

There are plenty of lifestyle dommes around.   You just have to find one that's compatible.  You can increase your chances of that by having a profile that says something about you as a person (as it is - there's nothing there that would give her any idea why she might find you interesting), getting involved in your local scene, etc. 

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/3/2008 6:35:08 AM >

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(in reply to KingBlood666)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: money - 2/3/2008 6:52:50 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Some men unfortunately will always be left with one option to get a femdom to play with him -- he will have to pay her. It is this way because he is otherwise undesirable. Just as some men can't get laid unless they go to a hooker.

Akasha



I can't believe you're spouting this line again. This "Just World" stuff is a load of crap. I can only shake my head and wonder where you come up with this stuff.

-----

Cyberdude, professional Femdoms exist because of supply-and-demand factors: namely the steep ratio difference between femdoms to malesubs.

If malesubs had to be losers to pay for professional dominatrix services, than that would mean everyone in Aakasha's training class was a loser. I'm sure she's not in business to spend her time with losers.

Of all the pros here who post on CM, Aakasha is the only one peddling this cockamanie "malesub is a loser" so-he-has-to-pay-for-it shit.

Most other prodoms here don't ever complain or characterize malesubs this way. Most seem to have good working relationships with their clients.

Are their male losers out there. Sure. But that doesn't answer this question by a long shot.

quote:

Cyberdude:

That's my point entirely. It's a business relationship. Yet pro-dommes seem to want to shy away from that fact and pretend as if it is something more.


I haven't really seen that here, and I doubt you have much factual basis for this generalization. Prodommes are the same as any other business people, when they market themselves they focus on services and benefits first --- and fees second.

Sidepoint: I have a business relationship with my clients too, but I also have a personal relationship to them as well. Sure, the business relationship comes first, but that's because its a business.

Sidepoint II: I saw a pro a long time ago, and she was great. We weren't any kind of love match, but I had a tremendous respect for what she did.

Sidepoint III: What upsets many guys is how professionals market themselves in personal ad space. Where BDSM is concerned, though, this is just part of the landscape.


Yay Cloud!  Thank you!  Are there 'losers' who see pro doms ... hell yes! but they are generally the ones that never get to see her again ;)  well this pro dom anyway.   So yeah I to am over the people who spout such and other patronising shite...like pro doms are good for the community, are good for the so called lifestylers ...that we serve the community... by dealing with the dregs ... fark off!  Thanks for the heads up people, but can we have it without the backhanded compliments.


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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: money - 2/3/2008 6:56:43 AM   
lockmeupplease


Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		People have paid $200,000 to have lunch with Warren Buffet, and he doesn't even know how to give a proper flogging!

(in reply to tigerstyle)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: money - 2/3/2008 7:52:52 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Some men unfortunately will always be left with one option to get a femdom to play with him -- he will have to pay her. It is this way because he is otherwise undesirable. Just as some men can't get laid unless they go to a hooker.

Akasha



I can't believe you're spouting this line again. This "Just World" stuff is a load of crap. I can only shake my head and wonder where you come up with this stuff.

-----

Cyberdude, professional Femdoms exist because of supply-and-demand factors: namely the steep ratio difference between femdoms to malesubs.

If malesubs had to be losers to pay for professional dominatrix services, than that would mean everyone in Aakasha's training class was a loser. I'm sure she's not in business to spend her time with losers.

Of all the pros here who post on CM, Aakasha is the only one peddling this cockamanie "malesub is a loser" so-he-has-to-pay-for-it shit.

Most other prodoms here don't ever complain or characterize malesubs this way. Most seem to have good working relationships with their clients.

Are their male losers out there. Sure. But that doesn't answer this question by a long shot.

quote:

Cyberdude:

That's my point entirely. It's a business relationship. Yet pro-dommes seem to want to shy away from that fact and pretend as if it is something more.


I haven't really seen that here, and I doubt you have much factual basis for this generalization. Prodommes are the same as any other business people, when they market themselves they focus on services and benefits first --- and fees second.

Sidepoint: I have a business relationship with my clients too, but I also have a personal relationship to them as well. Sure, the business relationship comes first, but that's because its a business.

Sidepoint II: I saw a pro a long time ago, and she was great. We weren't any kind of love match, but I had a tremendous respect for what she did.

Sidepoint III: What upsets many guys is how professionals market themselves in personal ad space. Where BDSM is concerned, though, this is just part of the landscape.


Yay Cloud!  Thank you!  Are there 'losers' who see pro doms ... hell yes! but they are generally the ones that never get to see her again ;)  well this pro dom anyway.   So yeah I to am over the people who spout such and other patronising shite...like pro doms are good for the community, are good for the so called lifestylers ...that we serve the community... by dealing with the dregs ... fark off!  Thanks for the heads up people, but can we have it without the backhanded compliments.



I don't know if cloudoy is really dim, or he purposely tries to manipulate my intent to make me look bad.  Just because I say some guys are TOTAL LOSERS and have to see a pro femdom because that's all the domination they can get does not mean ALL SUBS THAT SEE PROS are total losers.  For anyone to make that jump in logic they either need to be malicious or stupid. I'll leave it to others to make the determination which one he is. 

There are many very capable, attractive, classy men who visit pros.  There are also a group of men that are socially retarted, unclassy, unclean and have NO options other than to see pros; sadly, even many PROS won't see these men. I am sure pros know what type of man I am talking about. 

Another category are men who are actually not bad looking and have something on the ball, but their ideals and expectations are so out of line that a non-pro can only tolerate them one time and they get cast aside for being unrealistic and demanding.  Does that mean ALL subs that visit pros are like this?  Of course not!  I bet good pros cull their clientele to the premium type subs and only see the losers one time and never let them come back. But the bottom feeder type pro femdoms (those that aren't really into it but to make a quick buck) will continue to cater to those who will pay for it, and they will continue to be the bottom of the barrel when it comes to manners, social capability, hygeine, and class.

For those with reading comprehension problems (cloudboy) this does not men ALL SUBS who visit pros are losers.  It means LOSERS have no other options than pros.  BIG difference. If you need me to spell it out even more clear, I'll do it later.


Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 2/3/2008 7:54:34 AM >

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(in reply to Jasmyn)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: money - 2/3/2008 7:57:45 AM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

That's my point entirely. It's a business relationship. Yet pro-dommes seem to want to shy away from that fact and pretend as if it is something more.



You are lumping all ProDommes together and that is  very wrong of you.  When I was ProDomming, I was very specific that it was STRICTLY business and nothing more.

(in reply to cyberdude611)
Profile   Post #: 60
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