Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Is that your final anwer?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is that your final anwer? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:38:57 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Top and bottom. What is the correct definition. i hear so many different  versions from people that i don't know which is right. i have heard that it means a one time play session.

2) When you are not in a serious relationship.
3) when you just play at it

Does anyone have the correct definition? i would appreciate it. Thanks.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:41:19 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		There is no correct definition simply because no two people will define it in the same way as it pertains to their own relationships.

Is it really so important that it be defined outside of your own?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:50:51 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, because i would really like to know the correct definition so i can understand completely a situation when it is talked about or i am asked about it.

Since i don't know the standard definition. i could never answer the question are you a bottom or a top if either, because i'm not sure of the most stardard meaning.

Every word has a standard meaning. You may tweak it here and there to fit what you want it to be, but there also is the root of a word.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:53:38 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		LOL Oooooooooooookayyyyyyyyyyyy

top= a person who controls a scene
top= a person who controls the relationship dynamic
top= a person who plays at being a dominant

bottom= the opposite of all of the above

and let's not forget that for MY three interpertations....3 other people will have 3 different ones.

does that help you now?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:55:00 PM   
TethersEnd


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		I dont think there is a nice neat box that holds what we define. 
One persons Top could be anothers Dominant and vice versa,
the same as a Submissive to a Bottom. 

It's all in what you make of it. 



(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:56:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		um, this sort of thing has been around and around, and there isnt a standard definition other than the one that is held in your head.

maybe something to do with the consensual nature of kink.

give you a couple of examples of the color green and hope you catch on to what it is.

Top, not dominant but the beater.
Bottom, the beatee.

Top (the outie)
Bottom (the innie)

No deep mental need to control or be control, just the role that is right there.

Ron

and everyone is gonna say thats wrong, but it is a model that works for me.



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:57:48 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		i thought bottom and top were two definitions that didn't get argued over....now i'm totally confused.

i thought bottom was one who consents to play within a scene only, for sensation...they also can be rigid about what they consent to, or maybe picky is a better word.


Now i'm all confused


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 7:59:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07
Yes, because i would really like to know the correct definition so i can understand completely a situation when it is talked about or i am asked about it.

The problem is that definitions are DESCRIPTIVE not PRESCRIPTIVE.  It's nice for you to want that- but be realistic, it's not going to happen.  It's not even because people want to seem cooler or exclusive- it's because that is the nature of human experience and the limitation of language.

IN GENERAL, "top" means the giver/in control person in a particular limited dynamic, usually within the context of a scene. "A top" is someone who regularly engages and enjoys such activities.  Thus, most masters are also tops.

So, using that, you will have more than WELL ENOUGH of an idea of what people mean when they use the term to engage in conversation.

Anything beyond that- well like everything else you just have to ask what they mean at that time.

quote:

Every word has a standard meaning. You may tweak it here and there to fit what you want it to be, but there also is the root of a word.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If you really believe that every word has a "standard" definition and that the root of a word is in any way meaningful to how a word is ACTUALLY used in the real world in modern time, you need to take a linguistics class. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:01:20 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Now i'm all confused

Confuzzled? LMAO

The thing is, there is no standard of definiton; no matter what dictionary you use, someone, somewhere,will have a different perception of what each means. I have my own definitions of what both mean; but that does not mean that it matches anyone elses. The only way to avoid confusion is to state what YOU think they mean, listen to what another thinks they mean, and then go from there.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:18:20 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Oh the chaos, the uncertainity....

How will I face another day with such disarray?



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:19:54 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Oh the chaos, the uncertainity....

How will I face another day with such disarray?



Have no fear. Tomorrow promises to bring clarity.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:22:53 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Tomorrow promises to bring clarity.


Bobgkin is returning to provide the true textbook answers???!!!!!

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:25:01 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Bobgkin is returning to provide the true textbook answers???!!!!!

We should be so lucky


_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:37:49 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		A standard answer of top or bottom is as clear as asking a person to give you a definitive answer as to what the standard for blue or green is .. it is the perception of the individual.  Everything is not black and white not even the definition of words ... thus the interpretations of statements will be colored by individuals experiences and thought processes.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:47:16 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		You don't need to be "m/s" to have serious relationship involving bdsm.

Or even puff up over it.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:49:23 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Oh the chaos, the uncertainity....

How will I face another day with such disarray?




Do you remember that old song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONEYGU_7EqU

Poor thing, I'm sure you will manage..somehow.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 2/1/2008 8:55:03 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 8:53:29 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Tomorrow promises to bring clarity.


Bobgkin is returning to provide the true textbook answers???!!!!!


He was Einstein compared to some of the thread starters these days. OoOo

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/1/2008 8:54:38 PM >

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 9:01:41 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, sad,very sad....almost missing bob.......the horror............

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/1/2008 9:07:44 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline 		To me...

Top/bottom is a temporary state of "being"
Dominant/submissive or Owner/slave is a consistant state of "mind"

However, in the gay community, Top/bottom have a different connotation altogether as to who is more the doee and doer in a sexual sense.

Just my 2 cents


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is that your final anwer? - 2/2/2008 3:08:59 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Top and bottom. What is the correct definition. i hear so many different  versions from people that i don't know which is right. i have heard that it means a one time play session.

2) When you are not in a serious relationship.
3) when you just play at it

Does anyone have the correct definition? i would appreciate it. Thanks.


A top is something I wear to cover my breast and stomach. A bottom is what I wear to cover my ass and my legs. Or on hot days, just to cover my ass.  

_____________________________





(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is that your final anwer? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094