RE: One could get very jaded...

RE: One could get very jaded... (Full Version)

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slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:36:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittinSol Indeed, you just corroborated luci's assertion that some are envious of the happiness of others She certainly did. quote: One of luci's many talents is the disconstruction of language for the purpose of analysis Thank you, kittinSol. I think[&:]. quote: Perhaps it annoyed you? Obviously. quote: In any event, luci didn't deserve the vitriol you poured all over her posts. Chill. Thank you, kittinsol. To have you stand up for me against this unfair snarkfest is wonderful indeed as no one can legitimately accuse the two of us of being a "clique."[;)] Perhaps we should form our own auxillary group? Seriously, though, thank you............luci

lusciouslips19 -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:36:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Treasure; I find a huge difference between how you speak of your relationship, and the ones who, after a week, a month or two or whatever, proclaim to the world how wonderful and perfect theirs is. This post is not about people who think they have a perfect relationship, but, about how long the relationships which are proclaimed so loudly on these boards as 'the ONE' actually do last. Thank you, blushes. I've always tried to avoid sounding boastful of my good fortune... but I'd be lying if I said there weren't many times from the very beginning where I wanted to shout out about the joy that I have found with FirmhandKY. [;)] I did have to go back and look through the archives... while I knew that neither of us had posted about our relationship in the Positive Experiences forum, it seemed to me that we did post positive comments fairly soon after we had started talking to each other. lol... Yep, we did. Less than two weeks. But to be fair, it was almost five months to the day (and after we'd met in person) before we publicly claimed in the forums to have found our "one" in no uncertain terms. [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx I'd listen more carefully to you, to Kyra, to LA to...others who are IN long term relationships who have weathered the storms of adversity, and even the calm of mediocrity, rather than those who are still in their own little dream world. And, I'm wondering, for anyone who keeps track of this type of thing, how long these wonderful, great, perfect relationships actually last. I agree with what you're saying, but I do recognize that we all started somewhere. I was just two months after FirmhandKY and I wrote our first words to each other that I wrote the following in my journal... ...I'm grateful to have a mindset grounded in reality and for not having settled for less. As a reward, it appears that the "winds of fate and the muses of old" have favored me with my heart's dreams and desires. I'm sure that anyone who bothered to read that might have been just as skeptical. quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 ... you simply come in and discuss whatever topic is being discussed and relate it to your relationship. And so people can hear what goes on in a healthy relationship, hear your opinions and you are not being exclusionary or trying to be "better than". I do hope that's what people take away. When I began here, there were some here that I benefited from in that same way... I've always wanted to pass that along. [;)] We thank you for your wisdom. We thank you for your grace.

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:41:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Thank you kittinsol, once again for taking up the position of hall monitor. I think luci is quite able to answer for herself Again, could you be more off-base? "Hall monitor?" This lady blasts 'em left and right on a regular basis. I don't think she's who you are thinking of when you think "hall monitor." But then, this isn't the first time you've accused folks of being something they most definitely are not. Take better notes, huh? I know the urge to shred someone - anyone - must be overwhelming but at least get the names you call them semi-close, ok? quote: As for you, the phrase pot calling the kettle black comes to mind It comes to mind alright but not for her. quote: And your interpretation of what I say is incorrect, as usual. You never "get" it, EVER. Again, a true observation when applied to you, not kittinsol. You've never addressed me in a way that made any sense. I've even had to respond to you and tell you that you must have me confused with someone else. Maybe all us happy, content blissful gals just all run together in your mind. I know, for me, it's hard to keep all the bitter shrews separated..............luci

MadRabbit -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:44:29 PM)
FR There is a huge difference between sharing certain parts of your relationship in discussions to contribute toward education and understanding... ...and starting a 10 page bitch fest airing out all your private drama in an attempt to get a bunch of disposable Internet buddies to pity and woe you. I share small parts of my current relationship and my past relationships for the purpose of constructive education. The intimate details and any problems or issues that might occur are not the business of SirBigBalls666 and slavewanker83. I come to the forums for discussion and my own personal entertainment. I have no interest in being part of a cliché, forming amazing cyber connections, or collecting a swam of Internet heading bobbing minions that woe and coo over how perfect and great I am. I can't say I can find a reasonable and rational reason for why people do this sort of crap besides they are Drama Queens or are trying to fill voids in their own lives with Internet buddies. I don't have to ask advice from the masses, because I have people in real time for that. I might email someone privately I know off the forums, because I respect their perspectives, but that is a rare case. Further more, it's just frankly not the Internet's business what problems I am having with my girl and it really shouldn't be. Why would you want to expose your own personal drama to a bunch of people who's invested interest in it is on par with that of a TV soap opera? Clearly, some people like to feed the vicarious virtual vampires. I will have to chalk it up with the 100,000 other things people do that make absolutely no sense. (Edited to Add : I am always a jaded cynic at heart when it comes to anything, but its annoying when people confuse that with bitterness or lacking of passion or joy. It's why you won't hear me confessing about any trainwreck relationships or horrible life experiences. I see bullshit, I avoid the bullshit.)

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:47:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit There is a huge difference between sharing certain parts of your relationship in discussions to contribute toward education and understanding... ...and starting a 10 page bitch fest airing out all your public drama in an attempt to get a bunch of disposable Internet buddies to pity and woe you Indeed. A HUGE difference. One would be pretty masochistic (and not in a good way) to bring a true issue/problem/need to web boards for help. quote: Clearly, some people like to feed the vicarious virtual vampires. I will have to chalk it up with the 100,000 other things people do that make absolutely no sense Yep. That would be 100,001..........luci

MadRabbit -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:51:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: Clearly, some people like to feed the vicarious virtual vampires. I will have to chalk it up with the 100,000 other things people do that make absolutely no sense Yep. That would be 100,001..........luci But...hey...if people want to make fools of themselves, I am always happy to help. I fully support the freedom of choice.

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:56:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit But...hey...if people want to make fools of themselves, I am always happy to help. I fully support the freedom of choice. True, true[:D]...........luci

lusciouslips19 -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 5:57:13 PM)
Someone needs to pour a bucket of water on you guys. I'm chokin from the smoke . Its a regular Bonfire!

camille65 -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:00:17 PM)
Hey luci, for what it's worth I've never considered you to be a braggert. I do like reading about other peoples happiness. Sometimes I mention my own.

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:33:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Someone needs to pour a bucket of water on you guys. I'm chokin from the smoke . Its a regular Bonfire! I'm sure there's an insult in there somewhere but I must say I don't get it. Is that special auxilary club speak? luci

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:38:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 Hey luci, for what it's worth I've never considered you to be a braggert. I do like reading about other peoples happiness. Sometimes I mention my own. Thank you, camille. It's worth a lot, actually. I also like reading about other people's happiness and I've often read about yours[:)]. Congrats. The genuine happiness of some of the folks here really does shine through. When I read posts by you, ownedgirlie, mercnbeth, beingchewsie, julietsierra and many others, there is no doubt in my mind that what I'm reading is the genuine report of a happy, healthy relationship. That's what I hope people read in my posts as well. For anyone who sees it as red did, I'm afraid you've got a very warped sense of perception. There was a thread started awhile back asking people to "brag" about their relationship. While most people didn't care for that word, I felt I knew what the OP meant and I shared the facts about mine. I didn't "brag" there and I don't "brag" anywhere else on these forums. I simply tell how it works for us. If that comes off as so wonderful that it must be bragging, well bully for us, I suppose[;)]. Thanks for the kind words................luci

swtnsparkling -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:41:47 PM)
Luci, LOL that's pricless Thank you quote: Is that special auxilary club speak?

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:43:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 i find it very interesting that certain people attack, insult and bash people on a consistant basis/ saying one rotten thing after another to hurt and destroy and say it's all in fun. Yet when someone calls them on it and actually makes true, honest comments against them. They become defensive and more mean. Suddenly it's no longer in fun anymore. The "group" can dish it out, but they can't take it. Which is usually the case with bullies. i don't think luci is being mean at all. She is making some very valid points that not only apply to one, but a few others. She should not be put down for it. Remember the "group's" rule" Anyone is allowed to post on any thread and say anything they like, because after all it's all in fun. Thank you, taken, but I don't consider anyone here to have "bullied" me. That would imply that they had some kind of power to hurt or control me, which of course they do not. It is quite humorous, though, when someone projects their own shortcomings/issues so blatantly onto others who don't happen to exhibit any of them. As I said, call me names if you must. But at least have the decency to make them applicable names that really could by some stretch of an imagination describe me honestly.[8D] But then, that would require time and thought and when you're desperately needing to lash out, who can bother? Bitterness always shows through and, with some, it drips from every post. Sad really...........luci

slaveluci -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:45:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling Luci, LOL that's pricless Thank you quote: Is that special auxilary club speak? You're sure welcome though I really mean it. I don't get it. But then, I'm one of the "out" crowd, I guess. No club membership for me. But then hen parties always did make me retch[:'(]............luci

Leatherist -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:50:24 PM)
Why do you think I keep shooting down these fantasy seekers? It's those very fantastical expectations and stupidly adhered to stereotypes that doom thse relationships. Which is why I bluntly state that I am not a "Dom"-and don"t do "D/s". Overall, people who follow that sort of thing have the ability to relate and work through issues of an average well..............housefly. I'm jaded about that much-give me good old vanilla with some spice on the side. Something less likely to self destruct when reality rears it's ugly head-in three to six months-and the fantasy of the "new relationship syndrome" wears off-and you have to actually behave like an adult that can make a sacrifice.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 6:59:46 PM)
No, thank you and i am sure there are many many posters errecting a statue to you tonight. i will provide the first stone. Just to clairify, i meant bulling people on these boards in general.. :)

swtnsparkling -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 7:18:25 PM)
quote: No club membership for me. Same here I'm partial to thinking on my own -making my own conclusions. I guess those of us who can do and those who can't join a club.

Wildfleurs -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 7:25:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx ....very quickly just by reading the 'positive experiences' forum, and then reading the profiles of the people who have made those posts just a month or three later. Of course not every relationship will be (or should be) forever. And just because something doesn't last doesn't mean it wasn't of value to those who participated. But someone said something the other day, (I think it was Focus, but, I'm not entirely sure) about (and forgive my rough translation of what was so elegantly worded, please) how there seems to be a direct co-relation to those people who posts on these boards talking about their 'perfect' this or their 'soul mate' that, as to how quickly those relationships disintegrate. Yes, when we find someone who is different, and who feels 'right', we DO want to shout it to the world. It's an amazing feeling. But, how quickly and how hard the mighty do fall. It's hard enough to keep a vanilla relationship going. Even more difficult (yet rewarding, imo) to keep a kinky relationship with vanilla overtones running smoothly. Add to that the pressure that has been unwittingly applied by someone who believes (in less than 2 months, 4 months, or 6 months) that their relationship is so special, that they write about it ad-nauseum. There are no flaws, there are no cracks, it is perfect. What happens when that relationship shows it's first crack? Does that person write about that? Or do they write even more flowery prose to cover up the ugly crack? ~Christina (whose been guilty of the hearts and flowers once or twice as well....) Personally I tend to be the type of person thats close to the vest. I don't know if its the salty dog New Englander side of me that likes to stand ten feet away from a person or what exactly, but neither of my owner are overly effusive towards each other or when talking to other people about each other. I've been with him for quite a while and he is quite literally family and my rock - but thats about the most expressive I get about him when talking to other people. Its just not in my nature. I do get uncomfortable in real life when people go on and on about their partner. I don't feel like its my business and quite frankly I don't really care (unless its a good friend in which case there is still a limit to how much I really want to hear). Online I tend to just roll my eyes and think "see ya in five or ten years" when I see threads or posts devoted to how wonderful the persons relationship is. I don't consider it bitter, since I am and have been happily ensconced in a relationship for some time. I suppose it could be construed as cynical, but I've seen so many relationships and marriages in the BDSM scene come and go just in the 12 or so years I've been in the scene I think there's good reason to be cynical. C~

kittinSol -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 7:30:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Thank you kittinsol, once again for taking up the position of hall monitor. I think luci is quite able to answer for herself Again, could you be more off-base? "Hall monitor?" This lady blasts 'em left and right on a regular basis. Huh... WOT??? [:D]

xxblushesxx -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/3/2008 7:44:59 PM)
oh ffs...look...if this isn't thread hijacking, I don't know what is. I only asked a question that I am still interested in honest answers to. Do you feel that relationships that begin with a lot of drama explode (usually quickly) with a lot of drama as well? ~Christina edit; this was in response to those who want to fight and cause trouble even though this is not what this was about.

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