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LadyPact -> RE: One could get very jaded... (2/4/2008 6:27:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
....very quickly just by reading the 'positive experiences' forum, and then reading the profiles of the people who have made those posts just a month or three later.
Of course not every relationship will be (or should be) forever. And just because something doesn't last doesn't mean it wasn't of value to those who participated.
But someone said something the other day, (I think it was Focus, but, I'm not entirely sure) about (and forgive my rough translation of what was so elegantly worded, please) how there seems to be a direct co-relation to those people who posts on these boards talking about their 'perfect' this or their 'soul mate' that, as to how quickly those relationships disintegrate.
Yes, when we find someone who is different, and who feels 'right', we DO want to shout it to the world. It's an amazing feeling.
But, how quickly and how hard the mighty do fall.
It's hard enough to keep a vanilla relationship going.
Even more difficult (yet rewarding, imo) to keep a kinky relationship with vanilla overtones running smoothly.
Add to that the pressure that has been unwittingly applied by someone who believes (in less than 2 months, 4 months, or 6 months) that their relationship is so special, that they write about it ad-nauseum. There are no flaws, there are no cracks, it is perfect.
What happens when that relationship shows it's first crack? Does that person write about that? Or do they write even more flowery prose to cover up the ugly crack?
~Christina
(whose been guilty of the hearts and flowers once or twice as well....)
I wanted to quote the original, so I wouldn't get off track.
I have no idea of what the ratio is between the posts that come through the 'positive experiences' forum when compared to those that last. Even as I'm saying that, I have to question Myself in using the term. I know I wouldn't want to be the definitive authority as to setting the time frame as to what makes a relationship noteworthy. For some, a six month relationship can have a startling impact, where as others don't consider it that big of a deal unless it's hit six years. I would absolutely agree that not all relationships should last forever, but does that mean that nothing is gained or learned from those that don't?
At any given time, a random selection of people will be involved in both types, either the lasting or non-lasting relationships. It's hard to say which ones will weather the storms that all people will face during a lifetime. No one ever knows from the first meeting if it's something that won't amount to much or something that will see through the test of time. There's no way to know in the beginning which category anyone will fall into. For the observer, it's a wait and see process.
Personally, I am one of those who talks about My life on the forums. I do it when I respond to questions or when I pose questions Myself. I appreciate the sharing of experiences when they come from a person's own point of view. Whether that be from just a short term relationship or a long one, it usually has value. It might give a different perspective, or make Me think in another direction. Maybe it will help to re-affirm Me in My thinking. Maybe it will show Me that I'm being a twit.
Sure, I talk about the good things, and the not so good things. There's more good than bad simply because I happen to think My life is pretty positive just about now. Check My wording there. I said positive, not perfect. I hope I get that kind of realistic view when I read posts from others. I also take into account that it usually seems easier to share the good, rather than the bad, for many folks out there. It's so much easier to bask in the positive light. All I can say is, I'd rather stay off of the pedestal . The higher up it goes, the further it is to the ground.
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