|
devoT -> RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not (4/7/2008 3:10:35 PM)
|
Great thread, with some interesting issues.
There IS a symbolic meaning to the strap-on, but it's not based on "psychobabble", rather actual physical facts.
Throughout most of the mammalian world, from apes and monkeys, wolves and dogs, right down to rats and mice, in any species that construct some sort of dominant hierarchy or pecking order, sex and penetration are used as a means of showing who's "boss". The Alpha, usually a male, but not always, will mount and anally penetrate all the subordinate males in his group. Any male that does not immediately submit is perceived as a threat to the Alpha's dominance, and is then either fought (with the prize being the "kingship"), killed or driven off.
In some monkeys that appear to have a 'matriarchal' social structure, the Alpha female will do the mounting, and thrusting, despite not having the equipment to actually penetrate.
The female hyena carries more testosterone than the male, which results in her being bigger, stronger, more aggressive, and her clitoris grows to a size bigger than the male's penis. She will only allow a male to mate during the breeding season, the rest of the year it's she who anally penetrates the male, just to show him who's in charge. Early human observers of this initially thought there were no female hyenas, as they assumed that the bigger, stronger animal doing the mounting and penetrating was male, and myths grew up about the "male" hyena giving birth!
In human societies where men are alone together, such as in prison, anal sex is used amongst prisoners, who often don't identify as gay or bi, as a means of establishing hierarchies in gangs. Sometimes, outside prison, men will rape other men merely to dominate, not for sexual pleasure.
The point to all this, is that it seems clear that males have a very old, going back through our entire evolutionary history, psychological predisposition to accept and respond to this form of dominance. If a man isn't an Alpha himself, then he will usually submit to an Alpha male or female to avoid conflict. In today's society, that submission can take many other forms than anal penetration of course, such as playing golf with your boss instead of taking your wife to dinner like you promised. But once a man has been exposed to this form of dominant behaviour, either from another man or a woman with a strapon, then he simply can't help but respond to it; he automatically and naturally sees his penetrator as superior to himself. Gender doesn't enter into it.
So the strapon isn't about being a "substitute maleness". The wearer isn't pretending to be male, she's just demonstrating who's "top dog" in the relationship. Now, we all knew that already, but many people think that strapon use derives from women wanting to "emulate" men, but it really stems from men's desire to submit.
As my wife likes to put it, "You cook, I fuck"! I was never into being penetrated before I met my wife, Until her, I'd never met a woman more dominant than myself, so naturally I had no desire or inclination for it. Once she'd established who was in charge though, the desire to submit, to be the passive recipient of anal penetration, grew naturally within me, to the point where I now feel more "comfortable" being penetrated, and distinctly awkward and uncomfortable if I am required to do the penetrating. Somehow, me penetrating her now seems to me to be against the "natural order", at least within our relationship.
|
|
|
|
