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RE: Lied to - 2/6/2008 9:59:42 AM

LordVelvet

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I was guessing as to the OP's issue. Or making one up rather to try to give perspective to it. I understand what you mean though. Plus if you don't click after 3 dates chances aren't good. Just My opinion.
LordVelvet

< Message edited by LordVelvet -- 2/6/2008 10:33:33 AM >

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RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 2:45:28 AM

eyesopened

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enslavederotica
if your owner lies to you ( even if it is the smallest lie) is it your right to pull away from him and demand he explains himself?

How many of us have never, ever uttered an embellishment, a fib, an alteration of the truth, an omission, even to someone we love dearly? Have we always been totally and brutally honest with parents, children, friends, lovers? i daresay most of us have lied at some point in our lives to those we love, maybe something like not admitting to Grandma that you think her 'famous tuna surprise' tastes like wallpaper paste.

i highly respect Mercnbeth and know that an owner has no need to lie to property. i believe that property has no right to demand anything beyond its basic needs. my car demands oil, gas, regular maintenance but cannot demand to know where i'm driving, for example. yes, yes, i know, we are people not cars....

All that being said, everything comes down to motive. All sin is in the motive, not the act, in my opinion. The why of a lie (embellishment, omission, etc) is the crux of the matter. Why would a Master feel the need to lie? It doesn't make sense to me.

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Post #: 42

RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 9:45:31 AM

slavetoobeyYou

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As a method of communication, "demanding" has a polarizing, what's the word that our legal system is--basically fight as opposed to mediate, feeling to it. You might try saying how it affects you, how you feel: hurt, confused, questioning your trust, fearful of what it might mean, angry, has you feeling you can't be in a relationship with someone who lies--whatever it is for you--and ask him to explain to help you. If you can get to a non-confrontive, non-judgemental state, so he feels safe instead of defensive to really tell you what's up, which might include why he lied. You might offer to listen without blowing up at him and ask for a promise that he be forthcoming with you in the future. (I don't mean that you do, it's just turf of it, it's easiest to say the hard things to someone who just gets it. I had a Bhuddist gf who would just listen, repeat it back, and never actually "answer" my upset, but that turned out to be enough, I didn't build up resentment. Unfortunately she didn't do that so her stuff would build up--maybe I wasn't a good enough listener.

It's not about that there is anything wrong with him--that's neutral (ideally)(not that you don't have whatever emotions you have). It's all about YOU and your limits. Ok, he like many others gets tempted and lies. That's his habit. And maybe you just won't be with someone who does that.

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RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 5:24:09 PM

slavetobehad

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a little something my Master has taught me.

To live the life of a slave (and a Master, for that matter) one cannot be anything but absolutely honest. For the slave, it is with her Master, for the Master it is with Himself.....

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Post #: 44

RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 6:02:58 PM

caught4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

That is true. But when some one says to me " I will never lie to you", I never wonder why they felt the need to say it. People lie to each other. People who love each other lie to each other.For me, the important thing is rising above and beyond.

Jeff

I have risen above many a small lie. I can certainly forgive. But in doing so, im actually saying its ok to not be honest with me. So then the lies get bigger, and much more dangerous to the relationship. Also, if someone must lie about small things, then how do you know that person wont lie about the bigger more important things?

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RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 6:31:23 PM

caught4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: caught4u

tiny lies can eventually snowball into ones big enough to crush a home...

agree...but let the one step forward who never lied

I can't say I have never lied. I can't say I never will. I don't want to be cruel with the truth and hurt someone I love. But I know how I feel when I lie. I feel an ache in my heart and I feel isolated from them. So I feel much better just telling the truth. Besides, Im horrible at lying.

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Post #: 46

RE: Lied to - 2/7/2008 8:58:28 PM

Peridot

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enslavederotica

if your owner lies to you ( even if it is the smallest lie) is it your right to pull away from him and demand he explains himself?

enslavederotica: if he owns you, you may be literally placing your life in his hands .

If you place a healthy value on your self - I'd say it's wise to inquire.

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RE: Lied to - 2/8/2008 7:48:40 AM

Maynard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

That is true. But when some one says to me " I will never lie to you", I never wonder why they felt the need to say it.
Jeff

When someone tells me, "I will never lie to you", I think that they just did. When someone says, "Trust me" or "This will only hurt a little" I think it is best to believe just the opposite.

..If it is just a little lie, forgive but don't forget. If it is a major one, walk away. You have gotten good advice from all above posters.

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Post #: 48